To be constantly surprised that people 'don't drive'?

[MissEloiseBridgerton]

Every day on here, and on my own social media, I am shocked that soooo many people don't drive. My local FB group is constantly people asking for favours because they don't drive, they want a dump run, or someone to deliver second hand stuff to them. On here, the barriers to work, to childcare, to anything is so often that they don't drive!

For me growing up, learning to drive was just what you did. I don't have any friends who didn't learn to drive at 17. Most had cheap runarounds or borrowed parents car.

I totally understand it's expensive and costly to run a car but I don't think I realised how many people never learned!

Couldn’t afford to learn at 17 then lived in central London til my mid-30s so never needed to. Learned once I moved further out.

@MissEloiseBridgerton imagine if you woke up tomorrow and every adult now had a car though. I reckon you’d very quickly be complaining about too many cars on the road / not enough parking spaces.

Very easy for drivers to sit there judging people for not driving. But I bet all of you who judge would actually hate it if everyone owned a car!

Not everybody is willing to finance the purchase of a car. I certainly would not. Makes no financial sense for something I will almost never use and that starts to depreciate immediately.

Plus some people don’t have money to repay car debt.

Well, neither did I so I got a job in an Italian restaurant and worked for it while doing my A-levels. Not rocket science really.

Money to finance a car can be obtained via a job!

It does come down to priorities which is completely fine if driving isn’t a priority for somebody then of course they do not have to drive, but they do have to take responsibility for themselves and their choice and not expect others to ‘give lifts’ or ‘do favours’ to compensate. Unfortunately everybody I know who ‘doesn’t drive’ (with the obvious exception of those who are disabled) are huge burdens to their family/friends circles and heavily rely on others to facilitate their lives. I will say that this was different when I lived in London so perhaps in cities this is much less of an issue.

No taxis here

Don't be daft. I've been poor, really poor, and I've still always manged to own and run a car as I knew without one I wouldn't be able to work. If you tell yourself you can't afford one then it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. My late mother always said she couldn't afford to learn to drive and run a car but the amount of shite I've just chucked out of her house that would have cost a fortune at the time would probably have bought her a Roller 🙄.

I didn't feel mature enough to learn to drive at 17 so I refused lessons at the time and my parents wouldn't pay for lessons after that. I saved up some money to learn when I was 21/22 but my instructor kept cancelling lessons on me and I didn't get very far. Since then I've never really needed to be able to drive. I do regret it a bit, but not enough to try again.

I didn't learn to drive at 17 because my parents were poor, I hope that helps.

Just getting round to it now in my late 30s as it is only now that I have the disposable income to do so. Lessons are ridiculously expensive.

Surely you can understand why many people don't learnt at 17y.

The cost is a massive factor.

I learnt to drive straight after university, when I was earning enough money to pay for the lessons and tests. My brother and sister did the same. There was no way my parents could have afforded it.

Likewise, few of my local friends learnt to drive at 17y, for the same reasons. The friends who lived in a slightly different, a little more wealthier, area learnt at 17/18y with parents funding it.

Whilst it can be a barrier to some employment - if there's no money to pay for it, then there's no money.

I grew up poor, when I turned 17 driving was never mentioned, I knew we couldn't afford it same reason I never went to uni either, I thought my mum would have to pay for it and I knew she couldn't so I never even asked. You're coming from a place of privilege.

Im 30 now and have my test booked for March, it's costing over £200 a month to learn to drive but I can afford it now, thankfully.

Raising 3 young children without the ability to drive is and has been a challenge, I can't wait to pass

Well bully for you OP. Some of us were struggling to survive and living in hostels at 16 with no parental support whatsoever
Your ability to not have to worry about feeding yourself and having money to spare on driving lessons doesn't make you superior.
Some of us couldnt even afford to buy a provisional licence, never mind a lesson.
What an incredibly short sighted and insensitive post.

And where does the money come from?
The cost of a lesson can be as much as some people's weekly food budget! Should they just forgoing eating for however long it takes to pass the test?

Absolutely. When you’re living in survival mode there is no time to consider luxuries such as driving lessons! Astounding ignorance on this thread.

You can learn without lessons but it's not advised.
Though the quality of lessons can also vary.

You no someone dosnt get the struggling of the working class when they say the phrase "costly, but a worthy investment" 🙄

I'd say I know a fair amount of people, both in cities and the country, and I've genuinely never known anyone totally reliant on lifts from other people (not talking about elderly/disabled people here). Sounds a highly stressful way to live!

It also sounds like some drivers need to learn the "essential life skill" of saying No!

I worked full time for over 30 years and never drove.

Amazing isn't it - the uncanny ability to apply for jobs that don't involve driving. That can be easily reached by Public Transport.

It's almost as if I researched how to get there before I applied for the jobs!

Weird huh!

I've failed my driving test 4 times, I'm definitely dyspraxic and have no real hand eye coordination and possibly ADHD and get completely overwhelmed with other traffic.

It is so odd to be so judgemental of non-drivers. It is not us contributing to killing the planet and people with polluting lumps of lethal metal.

But as pp said, @MissEloiseBridgerton hasn't returned to thread...wonder why that is?

I couldn’t afford it at 17 because I’d just left the care system and my meagre wages barely paid for the roof over my head and food. After that I was in a DV relationship for years, had no money of my own and wasn’t allowed to leave the house. I did eventually learn to drive, but I wouldn’t assume that everyone is fortunate enough to be able to do so.

People assume because they managed it it's possible for everyone, read the room!

My mum was poor, she scraped by. As soon as I was old enough I had to get a job which I did, and then I had to start contributing the house, it left very little for me. I also paid for my own bus tickets to and from sixth form and paid for my own food at school, own makeup if I wanted it. I pretty much had 14p to my name on any given day.

If your daughter is 19 though she will have had money from child trust funds. My DS definitely got over 1k which was used for driving costs. All born between 2002 and 2012 had these child trust funds

I should add - I can drive. Now. But it took me until I was well into adulthood and earning an decent wage to be able to.
What I take issue with is the "it's just what we did growing up" attitude. I wish I had that youth. I can barely even look back on my teenage years with any sort of fondness, it was just about survival and hardship from far too young an age, not fun and passing milestones. I'm by no means alone on this.

I truly hope OP appreciates the chances she's been given in life but judging by her post, I doubt it. She appears to just take it all as a given. Does that sound like jealousy? Because it is.

But don't you dare look down on me. I got to where I am without mummy and daddy behind me.

Those drivers who are - understandably - pissed off with a non-driver asking for lifts, tell them to bugger off! They can use Public Transport or get taxis. You certainly shouldn't be ferrying them about!

Don't be a wuss and blame us non-drivers who never take the piss, because we are more than happy fending for ourselves. We don't need to drive, but you do need to learn to say NO!