To be constantly surprised that people 'don't drive'?

[MissEloiseBridgerton]

Every day on here, and on my own social media, I am shocked that soooo many people don't drive. My local FB group is constantly people asking for favours because they don't drive, they want a dump run, or someone to deliver second hand stuff to them. On here, the barriers to work, to childcare, to anything is so often that they don't drive!

For me growing up, learning to drive was just what you did. I don't have any friends who didn't learn to drive at 17. Most had cheap runarounds or borrowed parents car.

I totally understand it's expensive and costly to run a car but I don't think I realised how many people never learned!

I’m surprised that you’re so surprised.

Nice that you were able to find the money to learn and pass your test at 17. I didn’t have that kind of cash, nor did my parents. And I lived in a city anyway, so I managed.

I was late learning to drive, and I am pleased that I did, but not everyone can find the disposable cash, and then even more money to run a car. You are aware that many people are struggling just to feed themselves and their families, right?

My parents refused to teach me to drive or allow me to practice, I mean I never actually asked because it was made clear before I got to that age. They weren't risking their car for me, or allowing anyone else to do so, because they'd end up paying when I inevitably fucked up. They were like that about every aspect of my life, I was the resented result of a relationship gone wrong for my mother, and I was very much in the way of her and my stepfather and the family they wanted, and I was made well aware of that for my entire life.

My grandfather - who was quite willing to defy my parents, unfortunately was too ill and subsequently died before I was old enough to teach.

I can drive now, over the 20 years I tried, I've had way more than 40 lessons. I needed to save and then try, unfortunately I wasn't successful and a few times had to stop because I ran out of money, or it was needed for other things. Not much point having a driving licence when you don't have a roof over your head, or are in prison for non payment of council tax really.

My mum still refuses to insure me on her car, despite having a licence. My brother and sister are both insured on her car.

There was no one else other than a qualified instructor for me to practice with, that's the reality for some people.

This isn't a 'pity me' post, I don't feel disadvantaged, I made it work. But you know, maybe being so blinkered is more limiting than not having a driving licence? I can accept that other people have different experiences to me, because that's how life works.

I find it surprising as well, but that’s because of where I lived/live. Not driving isn’t an option unless you are one of the few who work in the village.

My 26 year old DD doesn't drive. She lives in central London though so it's really not an issue. It would be an absolute nightmare trying to drive round when she can just hop on and off the tube and visit home on the train. I drive when she's here (live semi rurally). I have a few friends who don't drive. All work within walking distance of home or use the bus to get to town. Not everybody wants to learn and that's fine. It's also extortionate these days.

Yes you can practice in you parents car rather than paying for lots of lessons, but that assumes that they have a car, they have a car you can use and they are willing to take you for practice (my parents were not).

I paid a lot for lessons. I used to work a whole day at my Saturday job to afford one lesson in the 1980s. I can see why many wouldn't bother.

@Carnewb I can accept that other people have different experiences to me, because that's how life works.

I'm surprised that more people aren't able to do this.

Actually I'm not really but it's a nice dream!

Can she not walk, take buses, trains, taxis??
I am sure she is perfectly fine and happy.

My parents didn't drive. I have never been able to afford lessons never mind run a car. I'm 71.

My daughter is having lessons. She's been learning for a year and cannot get a test date. The centre is only open one day a week and there are no test slots available until June! She's within a whisker of giving up because she's got other priorities for her money and time (lives in a small rural town, so she really does need to drive but it's not essential).

I offered, there was no resentment, no fuming — because it was a decision I took, voluntarily. She didn't ask and I didn't feel any obligation to say yes. Those are the occasions — when someone is depending on you to do something you'd really rather not do — that generate resentment.

No, no. Once people reach 65+ they become incapable of all those things. I am early 60s, don't drive and am fully dependant on...myself.

MN is ridiculous sometimes, isn't it? People can't fathom that others live differently.

It's amazing that so many people cannot do this.
Maybe it's a life skill they haven't mastered yet!

I don't drive, lessons are too expensive. The only people I know who passed at 17 had the bank of mum and dad paying for them. Good for them of course but not everyone has that.

Is she unable to walk, use trains, buses and taxis?

Well, I did have that - but it didn’t stop me being a crap driver! 😄

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Being a non driver doesn't stop you living a full independent life how ridiculous . I speak from experience as I didn't learn to drive until I was 46. 8 years on I use my car every day and yes it's useful but it's not a requisite for life.

It’s 25 years since I did it (one of the lucky ones, parents paid and let me practice in my mums car) but there were a frightening number of 17 year olds who passed the test but had no idea what they were doing. Hence the reason there are so many accidents.

It was 6 months after my first lesson that I passed, can’t remember how many hours of lessons I had but at least one a week.

But when I passed my test I could drive, compared to others who were too frightened to drive outwith the small town I grew up in.

Personally I think there should be a minimum number of hours of tuition required. Not suggesting 40 to be fair.

Some people never learn to drive properly. I know of someone who has had a licence for more than 20 years and proudly states they can’t parallel park - in my opinion if you can’t do basic manoeuvres you shouldn’t have a licence!

I don’t know anyone who was only taught by family. I learned to drive over 30 yrs ago. Some of my techniques are out of date. I personally found it difficult as a passenger no dual brakes, didn’t want to teach incorrectly or knock confidence. Instructor could also take her on motorway to get to test route quicker for practice. Also time, I work ft.
i did go out with her eg drive to shops in evening but if she said instructor says do like this I trusted that. She passed first time.

We couldn't afford it when I was at college. My parents were very hard up. Then I had other costs to worry about as a younger adult. I was finally able to learn at 38.

Driving lessons are so expensive as is running a car. Most of the young people I know don't drive when I was young everyone got lessons for their 17th birthday. Different tines

Do you have to take formal lessons in the UK? I'm not being goady at all, just curious. In the US, you have to pass a written and a road test, but how you acquire the knowledge and skills is up to you. Rules differ slightly by state, but the only cost you must pay is the cost of the actual license ($48 in my state.)

In my area there are private driving lesson companies and the high schools teach driving. The state police also offer free safe driving courses to teens, which my dc took. The lessons were very good. They even flooded the test track to teach the kids about hydroplaning.

Of course here in the US you essentially must be able to drive, the only exception being if you choose to live in NYC for your entire life. I don't know anyone over the age of 16 who doesn't drive.

I cant drive and i dont care what you or anyone else has to say about it either.
I have my reasons and i dont need to tell everyone about it.

There are lots of places now you can hire a car or electric car for a day or a couple of hours, so there’s no need to have the expense of full time car ownership but still be able to use a car when needed

You can take test without formal lessons. It’s sit theory test - pass it then can book a practical test.
But at my dc’s sixth form everyone I knew did same as us formal lessons plus practice with parent if they have a suitable car.
Lots of parents don’t have cars learners can get insured on or suitable eg lots drive hybrid or auto.
I viewed it like swimming lessons when she was small. Yes I can swim and took her swimming but she had paid lessons to teach technique.