To be constantly surprised that people 'don't drive'?

[MissEloiseBridgerton]

Every day on here, and on my own social media, I am shocked that soooo many people don't drive. My local FB group is constantly people asking for favours because they don't drive, they want a dump run, or someone to deliver second hand stuff to them. On here, the barriers to work, to childcare, to anything is so often that they don't drive!

For me growing up, learning to drive was just what you did. I don't have any friends who didn't learn to drive at 17. Most had cheap runarounds or borrowed parents car.

I totally understand it's expensive and costly to run a car but I don't think I realised how many people never learned!

People have different life experiences to you which is why they don’t drive is the short answer. You and your friends all learnt to drive and had cheap runarounds or borrowed their parents car. For you this was normal. For many it is not.

I'm always bemused that drivers are so weird about wanting everyone else to drive. Unless you're constantly swamped with demands for lifts what's the problem? Imagine rush hour with everyone in their own car!

My friend drives everywhere, even very small trips - her step count per day is barely 1,000.

I'm not surprised that some people don't drive, I can understand there are reasons.

I am surprised that people who don't drive seem to frequently think that other people need to drive around and run errands for them either for free or for pennies because of it. There are certainly frequent posts on our neighbourhood groups asking for people to do tip runs/pick up furniture etc.

If you don't drive then you need to accept that you need to pay the local authority or a licensed waste carrier to pick up any rubbish. You need to pay a man and a van to pick up second hand furniture etc, you need to pay for a taxi if you want to go out somewhere that you can't get public transport home etc. This needs to be factored in to your budgeting and your decision making.

£60 a week does sound very expensive. Must've had a huge jump in costs in last few years.DS is 21. He started learning as soon as COVID allowed. His lessons were £20.an hour. One lesson va week and rest of the time practicing in my old banger that I passed onto him and insured for £230 for the year on provisional license . This meant he could drive most places to supervised. For example instead of just dropping him at work he drove and I took his car home- same in reverse. . Anywhere he " needed" lifts to get drove there.

Once he was 18 he also got Money from the government child trust funds that they gave every kid years ago. He paid first year insurance with it rather than at blowing it on booze like some of his mates

Oh I found this really interesting.
I was brought up in a non car owning household.
I paid for driving lessons for myself when I was a student in my early twenties - nearly 50 years ago - and passed my test at the second attempt.
And like you I've never been behind the wheel of a car since.
I always joke that I really do have a licence to kill because I have a valid driving licence but zero ability to drive.

I know a lot of car drivers can't believe it but it is possible to live life without driving a car.

In general it would be helpful in heavily populated urban areas to improve public transport and discourage private cars coming into the zone with limited parking primarily for disabled drivers/passengers and more park and ride of allow for less congestion and more reliable buses.
In rural/sparsely populated areas it’s a different scenario as it’s much harder to serve those areas well with public transport.
It need not be a one size fits all but everyone having a car in general would be a nightmare scenario for congestion and parking. It’s already massively challenging in many areas even given 25% of people don’t have licences and round 20% of households don’t have a car.

Do you know that they can't drive?

I don't drive. I can drive but for reasons that I won't go into, I don't currently have a car.

Really funny how it's totally acceptable to express shock and distain that people can't drive, but if you were to be all surprised Pikachu face because people don't possess skills like speaking a foreign language or having a grasp of economics, or because they didn't exercise or were totally unable to do public speaking then you'd get put in your place very quickly. I personally don't make a habit of speculating in a disapproving way about why others can't do the things that come naturally to me. Why the special status for driving? Can someone explain THAT to me?

I learnt to drive at 17/18 and paid for myself. Aside from illness this is something that I can't understand not doing as a grown adult. My life would be hindered in so many ways without driving. I'm sure I'll get flamed for my opinion.

I didn't get my DL until I was 25 ! I just couldn't afford it, working in retail, it was impossible. When I lived in London I didn't need DL, then I moved further afield and only then I felt how much I need it.
I overheard lady in the nail salon the other day, on the phone, buying DL lessons for her nephew for his 18 bday. 10h £400 !!!!

Some people are more natural than others when it comes to driving, some will take long time especially when anxious/nervous.

Lessons aside, the upkeep of the car is very expensive especially with all the thefts going on. Even little shitty ford fiesta is v expensive to get insurance - surprisingly they get stolen a lot and the boy races wannabies crashing. People just can't afford it.

How? Theory tests lasts for2 years. I know there's a queue for test slots but never known anyone to wUt 2 years

I learned to drive in my teens and have a licence but honestly, I might as well not have bothered. I’ve lived in cities all my life and owning a car where I am is more trouble than it’s worth. I haven’t driven in a very, very long time. Most of my everyday life is walkable, and trains, taxis and delivery services take care of the small part that’s not. Plus, I prefer waking/cycling/public transport for environmental reasons.

I honestly think being able to drive opens more windows than going to University.

I have a grown up Niece who has gone to uni but never learnt to drive, she cant get a job in the field she wants as transport is an issue, so she has been working low paid hospitality retail type jobs for years. She recently got a decent pay out after an employer let her go. We really encouraged her to learn to drive, but we are now 11 months down the line and it seams she has decided to live on the payout and has yet to find another job. I just feel she is limiting herself so much

Having the money to learn to drive and buy a car is a privilege that many don't have. As a driver myself I understand it's a privilege and I am also aware many people don't drive through lack of money and also anxiety/don't want to drive or find it too difficult. I myself didn't drive for a long period of time after passing my test as I was too nervous. Now that I am driving I am thankful every day. I can't imagine anyone not understanding that there are many non drivers - it's very common knowledge and not in the slightest shocking. Most humans have legs and the ability to walk or take a bus.

I used to drive, loved it, but lost my nerve and gave it up at 35. I managed on public transport and took cabs when necessary, my husband still drove so he did a fair bit of ferrying and didn't mind. I would never have scrounged off friends, or certainly not asked. If I did get a lift from a friend I would reciprocate in some way. When I was driving I gave lifts to anyone and everyone!

Well figure me out. I was learning to drive at 17 but my BF ( ex husband) at the time was a biker. I fancied learning to ride a motorbike. I loved it more than driving a car.. so l took my bike test. Became a motorcycle instructor and never drove a car...I'm constantly surprised how many people never learnt to ride a motorbike.
🤷‍♀️
My daughter isn't allowed to learn to drive because of her illness..
Who made you judge and jury?

I understand various disabilities and living in London being a barrier but when living more rurally it used to really wind me up when people who didn’t drive would expect lifts home in a different direction or say things like ‘ohhhh it’s raining, I’m going to get soaked walking home but I can’t afford a taxi’ to try and guilt trip you. 🫠 the assumption that they should be entitled to you offering a lift when you’ve paid out so much money to be able to drive yourself home in the rain really wound me up. They were always people earning more than me as well. If you don’t drive fine, but don’t have expectations that others should drive you around.

Also since having children I wouldn’t be able to manage without a car, we regularly drive to farms etc that a bus service wouldn’t go to and I’d hate the thought of not being able to get them to hospital/the doctors if needed (taxis are awful here) but I guess that’s probably something that non drivers consider when choosing a house.

Of course they do. Bear in mind that only the CFs are making these requests. The vast majority of non-drivers are just getting on with life, working around the fact that we don't have cars (without difficulty, in most cases, as sensible people choose where to live, work, shop and send their children to school by considering a range of factors, one of which is ease and length of journeys).

Son paid £20 an hour in 2020/1

I have noticed one thing about some drivers, they seem surprised that able bodied non-drivers are happy and able to walk to and from places.

I am sometimes offered lifts home from the gym, which is a 15 minute walk from my house and people seem genuinely shocked that I refuse. One friend was shocked I walked to the GPs for a blood test. It is at the bottom of my (longish) road.

Crazy.

I can drive but recently moved from a village with limited transport links and only a Tesco Express in the village to a town with frequent buses and a station within walking distance. I also have most shops and services I need on a weekly basis within 15 minutes walk. Although I still have a car I rarely use it.

Not everybody can afford it these days. Ds paid for all his lessons as he works full time. It really helps getting to jobs. £76 weekly lessons will be prohibitive for many including parents. He paid for his car too but is good at savings.

Did not grow up in a family that had enough money for that. Paid for myself for a while for lessons but soon was paying rent and bills too as a teenager with no parental support and could not afford it on my own.
Lived in cities for a long time and was not needed.
You are speaking from such a place of privilege, it's crazy.
I do not drive now, but nor do I ask for favours of others. Other than my husband I guess.

I’m sure you had the benefit of parents supporting you at that age, when you have to pay rent and feed yourself on minimum wage from a young age driving lessons aren’t a priority. Your viewpoint is extremely narrow and coming from a place of privilege

Exactly. Being able to walk, cycle or use public transport to get to things has always been a key factor in where I’ve chosen to live. I’m currently living close to a city centre, with my workplace, DS’s school, shops, cinemas, libraries, theatres, galleries, restaurants, bars etc a short walk away. I get groceries delivered. I simply don’t accept invitations to or attend events I can’t get to off my own bat. I don’t know any fellow non-drivers who hang about looking for lifts.