Partner of 19 years just punched a door and smashed a glass

[Teacake808]

As title says.. Been with my partner 19 years. We have 3 kids together. I've had to give up my job that I loved after continues backpain. On going for 5 months. He works full time. We were enjoying a glass of wine earlier. I mentioned that I wasn't particularly happy with our dog groomer, she always cuts her to short. He went over the top saying we will cancel etc in a dramatic way. I tell him this is the second time today I've voiced an opinion and he's overreacted. He then gets up and smashes a wine glass telling me I'm a shite unsettled person and punches a door on the way out. What the actual. I'm literally in shock. Yes I've been sad I've lost my job but still looking after my house and making sure that twat has a cooked meal after his shift😌

Please understand something.
Each "incident" is not simply a discrete and unconnected event.
There will be antecedents for the first incident.
It is only with hindsight that many women realise that this "first" incident was actually the third/fourth/tenth etc.
And the reason is because these men usually test the waters first.
The second they see us changing our behaviour to keep the peace/avoid escalation is their stepping stone to the next level of threat.
I had 17 years between the first and second assault.
Two "incidents".
But if I count every threat, intimidation, control, gaslighting, parental alienation, sabotage, lies to family etc. etc, I lose count.
We are talking about domestic terrorism.

Obviously you don't have to!

But financial abuse is also a thing, from the way you wrote it could be that he is working full time and not actually giving you any money? It made me wonder too.

Also some posters are justifying the violence by saying he's stressed out by being financially responsible for the entire family...but you're hinting he's not