To not want to provide free regular childcare?

[YeezysBeans]

I am a sahm, and I feel like every week I am getting heavy hints or even out right requests to provide free regular childcare for people I know who work and have kids. Some of them I know well and some are just acquaintances.

We have a plethora of paid for childcare options in our area but these don't seem to have occurred to any of these people at all and they seem to think I will jump at the chance to juggle their kids into my week and around my own kid's and households needs.

I have been a working mum in the past and it never once occured to me to ask other parents I knew to provide me with free regular childcare!

I'm a bit fed up of dodging the hints and requests. There's soo many reasons I don't feel up to being able to provide what they are heavily hinting or outright asking for and I'm fed up about it.

I have health issues that I don't talk about, I'm studying, one of my children has mental health stuff happening which again I don't discuss - but I don't feel like I should have to explain why I don't want to provide childcare, and I'd love a response I could use that closes down these people's ideas of me being their childcare solution.

I should add if a friend or relationship ve had an emergency situation I would absolutely help out at the drop of a hat if I could in any way that would help, and wouldn't even want a thank you, it's the entitled assumption that I'll provide people with free regular childcare that I'm annoyed about.

The example with the hinting parent, she was definitely angling for me to offer. I must have tried being sympathetic but non committal and then changing the subject about a half dozen times just in that one coffee meet, I mentioned one of the childminders that does the school in a pointed sort of way rather than trying to help problem solve.

I know it might seem like they're just sharing a stressful situation but even I can tell the difference!

If someone seriously bulldozed you through that many attempts to change the subject during one coffee, then they are not your friend! I wouldn't be meeting up with them again.

If this happens to you on multiple occasions with different people, then I'd be looking at making some adjustments to my conversational technique!

I’d just say “no sorry, we’ve got a lot on st the moment”. Cheeky fuckers.

I work, and feel awkward asking my family if they can watch my kids for half an hour at a weekend, in case it’s inconvenient, let alone assuming a friend will just happily have them regularly 😬😬🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

Sorry, OP, I read that poorly (in re-reading, I see your writing is clear) as separate comments not a concerted conversation bringing it back round each time. I think your plan to practice some less kind and understanding phrases might be the way to go!

Did she want it for free?

I wouldn’t say you can help in an emergency, as it’s always an emergEncy…