Have name changed because this is so outing. I feel like I can't talk to my friends about this, although some do know the basics, and I can't talk to family because everyone is biased. I'm so confused and conflicted and don't know how to feel.
My older brother (50s) has had two step daughters since the girls were very young, about 3 and 5 or so. Split with their mother 5 years ago but no animosity between them really, no cheating etc. Brother has a real temper and I think this contributed but I don't think there was domestic violence or anything like that. He can, however, also be a very lovely and caring person too, so it's not like he's always this angry ogre character.
The girls are now late teens and have both recently made allegations about my brother, saying he touched them inappropriately when they were about 7 until around 12. The police have said that as there is no evidence they cannot charge. I believe the girls as they have no reason to lie, and having spoken to them in person about this (we are actually quite close), they seem genuine. The allegations are quite 'mild' as these types of allegations go. I don't know if that's the right word but I don't know how to describe them. They include things like back and stomach rubs under clothes, that sometimes would include the top of the bum; and games that meant them undoing his shirt buttons and trouser zip. It was accompanied by inappropriate comments too. I think a lot of it doesn't necessarily sound that bad in isolation but I think every girl or woman knows when something is really off but we can't exactly categorise what is so bad about it.
I have not spoken to my brother since this came out about 6 months ago. Not a word. Family is split over this and it's causing big problems. I was full of disgust and wanted nothing to do with him at first but as time goes on I'm struggling with guilty feelings. He is quite unwell and probably doesn't have more than a decade at absolute most so that is contributing to these feelings. I feel like it would almost be better if the allegations were more serious- then I'd feel more black and white about it all. At the moment I find myself questioning whether innocent things were misconstrued. I find myself wondering if so many men of that generation are creepy that he almost couldn't help it. It's so impossibly difficult when it's your own family and you don't know what to do and what's right.
I'm not really sure what my AIBU is- maybe am I unreasonable to freeze him out completely? I've also stopped my son seeing him, even though they were very close, and I know he finds this hard. Mostly I just needed to talk about it, and it feels better to do so anonymously.