To want the bedside lamp on!

[Trufflebutter24]

I sometimes want to get into bed and read but my husband often gets quite annoyed by the bedside lamp light being on, he says I’m inconsiderate asking for it to be kept on. Am I blind to my inconsideration?

I can’t even deal with the red standby light on the tv when I sleep. Isn’t this what kindles are for though? The paper white ones are back lit aren’t they?

No, I'm asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow.

Unless some twat puts the lamp on 🤣

Eh?

Why should he sleep downstairs when he's using the bedroom for its actual purpose?

Surely the person not wanting to go to sleep should be the one to go downstairs until they do?

My ex insisted on leaving the bedroom light on and reading late into the night. He had insomnia, in the sense he could not wind down - IMHO reading does not help that, but he insisted on reading and called me inconsiderate for wanting to turn the light off (I find it difficult to sleep with the light on). It got to the point that if I went to bed earlier and put the light out (when I was on my own) he got very annoyed and said that I was forcing him not to put the light on and that this was inconsiderate and controlling. Unsurprisingly, we later divorced. YABU - read downstairs if you want to read, or get a kindle so that the light doesn't need to be on.

I can't sleep with a light on, I also can't sleep with a face mask. Thank feck it's just me and my cat and I have feather pillows which are awesome for blocking light and muffling cat snores, if it happens.

Confused here. I must have thick eyelids.
How is everyone knowing the lights are on if their eyes are shut?
Surely you can’t see?

Why should OP's DH decamp from the bedroom rather than her? It's her who wants to read. He wants to sleep - one of the main purposes of a bedroom and a bed.

I would get a Kindle. If you get an Amazon fire you can borrow books from your library. I use an app called BorrowBox to do that. If you get a paperwhite there is no light at all on the screen but you do have to pay for your books.

Is this meant ironically?

The bedroom is the room for sleeping.

My ex did this. You can tell and it's disruptive if you are trying to sleep. Really inconsiderate behaviour - hence ex (not only reason obv, but symptomatic).

I can't sleep with any light in the room, which includes the glow of my DH's phone or a kindle. He has a neck-light thingy which he occasionally uses if he knows I'm already asleep, but it's high risk because if I wake up I really struggle to get back to sleep again.

If I'm feeling generous he'll read in bed and I'll try to sleep with a face mask on, but it's not very comfy. I'm afraid I do mostly insist that he reads downstairs.

Don't the quills stick in your face when they protrude from the pillow?

I had one as a child and was forever getting told off because I would pull the spiky feathers out 🤣

Nope. Any that do, get pulled out, or the pillow gets turned over, plus I have 2 pillowcases on each, so that reduces the feather poking.
I don't think it's fair that you got moaned at, they're like needles, so you can't really stop them from making a hole.😀
I also had a feather pillow as a child and I only got a new one when I was basically sleeping on two pillowcases with a feather lump above my head.😁

A kindle doesn't need a light on.

Thank you, I don't think it was fair either, it was bloody irritating 🤣 🪶

A kindle paperwhite or Kobo ereader are your friends. I have both. You don't even need a light on at all to read on them.

Couldn't he wear an eye mask?

The person who wants lights out and noise off always trumps the person who doesn’t.

YABU the poor man is trying to sleep. It's so inconsiderate

Don't most couples have a discrepancy over time to sleep / lights / sound? I read my kindle so my late night habit doesn't keep DH awake, and I wear a snoozeband so his early morning radio doesn't disturb me.

Does OP have to go to sleep when her DH decides?

It is eye-opening reading this thread as I assumed everyone reads to sleep. I've never thought of a bedroom as purely a sleeping room either. Fortunately DH and I both have the same viewpoint and can't sleep unless we've both read. If one of us starts to doze off first, we just turn off our own light and turn away from the other. I can't imagine going back downstairs to read (or to 'the library'!)

Perhaps he needs a nice sleep mask - or a good book?

We are the same. DH hates the lamp on, I like to read. Ask him to buy you a Kindle Paperwhite.

Not all the time it’s not. You can do many things in a bed including…shock horror…read a book.

And it’s rather simple. He can sleep with or without the light on, but she can’t read without it. Therefore her needs exceed his in this scenario.