do all beneficiaries have to be paid at the same time

[Trebor57]

Hi,

Long story short , I lost my beloved Grandma in October 2023, she was in a care home so a lot of her money went towards that, however she did have a house that had only just been sold before she passed so all that was left.

Her Will instructions consist of her 4 Grandchildren (including me) getting £1000 each and the rest to be split equally between my mum and her sister who are both the executives ( after the costs this will result in about £70k each).

Me my brother and my mum and dad did everything for my grandma and loved her dearly, we would try so hard to convince her to upgrade her boiler, windows, spend money on taxis instead of trapsing around on the bus and spend money to improve her living and keeping herself warm, my mums sister on the other hand was the complete opposite and scare monger her into spending her money for her own advantage and barely bothered with her.

The day after My Grandma died she was already on about booking an appointment at the solicitors ( which i found very strange and distasteful) and has been constantly nagging at my mum to complain with her about how long the solicitors were taking to sort the probate out ETC, basically she is desperate for the money, that to be honest she doesn't really deserve, please don't think this post is about me not wanting her to have her 'fare share' or wanting her share for myself as my parents, myself and Brother all have our own money and always have done and would much preferred our Grandmother to have spent it on herself more.

Anyways just before Christmas, I received a letter from her solicitors advising me about the £1000 I have been left and to complete a FOA with my bank details so they can make that payment to me, I immediately shoved it in a drawer not ready to face up to what is the final chapter of My Dear Grandma's life/death.

Anyway much to my surprise I have had chase letters from the solicitors for this form, so I can only assume they wont get paid until they have paid everyone out,
But I am just wondering if anyone knows if all beneficiaries have to be paid at the same time, as we are all wondering if my mums sister has been nagging them for her payment?
( PS we don't really talk to my mums sister as she is not a very nice person so cant really ask her)

and to be honest if that is the case, I'm happy to leave it in the drawer for a while if she is that desperate for her mum who she treated terribly over the years money and to be honest my mum feels the same, call me petty I don't care

Anyone know from experience if it will make a difference me withholding my FOA?

@aCatCalledFawkes in reality they can pay at different times.

But doing this creates more work, the larger portion left over may gather interest and there could be arguments about who gets that interest, and it may be seen to be acting as a banking facility and therefore breaking the SRA accounts rules

Yes, we were charged for every stupid question my aunt asked the solicitor instead of just asking my mum who would have told her. In the end, each of those invoices were levied directly to her and you might find the same done to you. £1000 won't cover a huge amount of solicitors admin.

The solicitor can pay out to your aunt without paying out to you, so you refusing to deal with it won’t hold things up for your aunt at all. You are, however, making the solicitor’s life more difficult so stop being a pain and just provide the required details.

Your gran wanted your aunt to inherit; I don’t see how you’re honouring her memory by being petty and trying to prevent your gran’s wishes from being carried out.

Well if you don't want the money, do a deed of variation and let your aunt have it!

I had a very small inheritance from my grandmother, I bought a piece of jewellery with it and now, over 30 years later, I still wear it and think of her every time I do.

And to be quite honest, I find the idea of pooh poohing the money that she left you, that she earned, because you're already comfortably off to be quite dismissive of her life

Yes that makes sense.

They could probably completed the on-line probate forms in half an hour and saved a few thousand as it all sounds straightforward! After I told a friend that, she did them when her mother died, a million plus house etc., and she had no problems. When my OH died we had the private in less than a week.

I don't know the answer to your specific question but do know the Estate will be incurring extra solicitors charges for each chasing letter / call. Your set amount likely to be protected but the balance for Mum and Aunt likely to be reducing.

I was left £1000 once by an old neighbour who I helped a lot at a difficult time in his life. It came as a complete surprise when many many years later I received this money from his estate.
I bought a beautiful bag with it which I still wear. I would never have bought myself a 1k bag from salary but this one has been great and I think of him often when I use it. I agree with the poster above - even though you’d rather have your grandma back, honour her memory with something beautiful x

So sorry about the loss of your Grandma.

She wanted you to have this money, maybe to remember her by. She presumably did not want it sitting in a solicitor’s bank account.

You can mourn your Grandma, AND do this simple little bit of admin.

Don’t leave it hanging over your head.

And especially don’t leave it so that you end up with the added upset of your aunt asking why you haven’t done it.

Just do it, put it in the post.

If you are thinking of your grandma then don’t stand in the way of her final wishes. It’s disrespectful and pointless.

You will have your opinion of your aunt’s behaviour from now on, whatever happens about the money from your Grandma.

Do not embroil your grandma’s memory with aggro over the estate. Just sign the form and think of the £1000 as a private matter between you and your grandma.

I agree with this.

I'm sorry for your loss.
You are welcome to donate the £1000 to a cause that you and your gran loved.
I doubt your stalling will be preventing your grandmothers child (your aunt) getting her rightful inheritance.

It's very disrespectful of your grans wishes, of course she wanted both her daughters to inherit otherwise she wouldn't have written such in the will.

You're just wasting the Solictors time because they would like to finalise the case (as is they duty and what your gran wanted them to do) and archive the files.

Every letter the solicitor sends you will increase the solicitors fees by a ridiculous amount. Your Granny wouldn't want her legacy frittered away on unnecessary fees....

Fill in the form and let the solicitor crack on, use the money to buy yourself something precious to remind you of her.

So now you're wasting your Granny's money & going against her wishes. Selfish.

Your grandma wouldn't have wanted this.
I loved my gm very much.
She practically bought me up.
But after she passed I dutifully organised the funeral and instructed a solicitor with probate, filling in the forms necessary, sorted out pension payments and had the house cleared.
It was hard but I felt I was honouring her by carrying out her last wishes.
It took 90 days.
I invested the money in property and , and many, many years later I live in a lovely house , knowing that in part , it was because of her help.
She would be very happy for me -

You're probably costing the estate money because solicitors charge per letter, phone call etc.

just sign and return what they've sent you and let them get on with their work.