do all beneficiaries have to be paid at the same time

[Trebor57]

Hi,

Long story short , I lost my beloved Grandma in October 2023, she was in a care home so a lot of her money went towards that, however she did have a house that had only just been sold before she passed so all that was left.

Her Will instructions consist of her 4 Grandchildren (including me) getting £1000 each and the rest to be split equally between my mum and her sister who are both the executives ( after the costs this will result in about £70k each).

Me my brother and my mum and dad did everything for my grandma and loved her dearly, we would try so hard to convince her to upgrade her boiler, windows, spend money on taxis instead of trapsing around on the bus and spend money to improve her living and keeping herself warm, my mums sister on the other hand was the complete opposite and scare monger her into spending her money for her own advantage and barely bothered with her.

The day after My Grandma died she was already on about booking an appointment at the solicitors ( which i found very strange and distasteful) and has been constantly nagging at my mum to complain with her about how long the solicitors were taking to sort the probate out ETC, basically she is desperate for the money, that to be honest she doesn't really deserve, please don't think this post is about me not wanting her to have her 'fare share' or wanting her share for myself as my parents, myself and Brother all have our own money and always have done and would much preferred our Grandmother to have spent it on herself more.

Anyways just before Christmas, I received a letter from her solicitors advising me about the £1000 I have been left and to complete a FOA with my bank details so they can make that payment to me, I immediately shoved it in a drawer not ready to face up to what is the final chapter of My Dear Grandma's life/death.

Anyway much to my surprise I have had chase letters from the solicitors for this form, so I can only assume they wont get paid until they have paid everyone out,
But I am just wondering if anyone knows if all beneficiaries have to be paid at the same time, as we are all wondering if my mums sister has been nagging them for her payment?
( PS we don't really talk to my mums sister as she is not a very nice person so cant really ask her)

and to be honest if that is the case, I'm happy to leave it in the drawer for a while if she is that desperate for her mum who she treated terribly over the years money and to be honest my mum feels the same, call me petty I don't care

Anyone know from experience if it will make a difference me withholding my FOA?

Of course the solicitor is chasing you, they can't close their file and send their final invoice until all funds are dispersed. So you're just preventing a solicitor from being paid for the work they've done. It's not a good look OP.

Sign the form. Today.

It seems to me that your aunt isn’t the only one being disrespectful of your grandmother (if she is - your behaviour doesn’t exactly entitle you to take the moral high ground).

Aunt is apparently being grabby but you (and your mother and brother) are deliberately disregarding your grandmother’s wishes and wasting her money.

Frankly, I think your behaviour is worse. Why is it OK for you to ignore your grandmother’s wishes like this but not OK for your aunt to follow her will?

Also, somewhat amusingly, this won’t work so your spite gains you nothing. The solicitor will have drawn up estate accounts that total the estate assets, deduct the liabilities (debts) and list what remains to be distributed. They will then send out the individual shares. I’m sure they’d like to close the file but all they need to do to comply with their obligations is send reminder letters periodically while leaving the money sitting in their client account. They can take their fees when the actual work of administering the estate is finished and probably have done already.

You really need to grow up.

This is not a grown up attitude. Just send the form back and let the solicitor finalise their job.

You’re not achieving anything by doing this and your grandmother stated her wishes irrespective of your thoughts on the matter.

I understand you're hurting but this wasn't your grandmothers wishes. You need to grow up and fill the form in.

If you don’t want the money then tell the solicitor that you wish to disclaim your legacy so it can go back into the estate. Or ask them to draft a Deed of Variation and have your share redirected to charity or maybe to the care home to benefit the residents. Plenty of options. But at the moment all you are doing is racking up solicitors fees and preventing them from doing their job. If the funds on their client account are accruing interest then there will also be income tax to pay on it and that will mean an additional task for them to complete and charge for. Which again will reduce your mother's inheritance.

All you're achieving is increasing the solicitor's fees. This in turn reduces the amount your Aunt and MOTHER receive. I suggest you grow up.

This exactly. You really need to cop on.

Your grief is stopping you from thinking straight. Your GMs will is exactly that - her wishes, not yours.

Stop holding things up out of petulance. Believe me, holding on to grudges wont help with your grieving and wont change the past.

Be grateful your GM loved you and wanted to give you a gift in her memory.

Is it not costing the estate money every-time they send a letter?

Just sign it and send it back and stop
worrying about an aunt you don’t like very much.

You’re being spiteful. It’s nothing to do with grief otherwise you wouldn’t equate your reluctance to complete the form with whether it will cause a delay to your aunt (who you clearly despise) receiving her inheritance.

It is not for you to judge whether your aunt is worth of your grandmothers money, your grandmother already did that and that was the purpose of the will.

For heaven’s sake you sound so childish. If you don’t want your money donate it to an elderly charity in honour of your gran, but stop fucking around and let the solicitors do their job.

YABU.

Your grandmother has died, which is very sad.

You and your mother are now obstructing the solicitor doing their job. You can complete a deed of variation if you don't want the money, but saying you "don't want it because you wanted your grandmother to have it" just sounds childish.

Please stop dragging the solicitor into your family disputes.

Talk about cutting your nose off to spite your face. Just supply the details.

You sound incredibly petty. What’s the point. It is not about you. It is your grandma’s wishes, all you have to do is respect them.

Ps. You could give your 1k to a local charity in your grandmas’ name, if you’re not that fussed about it. I’m sure they’d appreciate it.

They do need to pay everyone at the same time - I asked our solicitor when I was dealing with my Dad's estate last year.

I asked if a percentage could be given to one of the beneficiaries as they were moving, and she said everyone would have to have the same percentage at the same time.

So you not filling in the paperwork is holding up everyone.

Also, the solicitor can not complete the job. The estate may also be charged more for them sending you letters.

So you not filling in the paperwork is holding up everyone

This is exactly what she wants. Her and mum are financially comfortable but aunt is not and they don’t like aunt so don’t want her to get her money.

You are preventing your grandmothers wishes to be delayed and causing her hard earned cash / house sale to have extra solicitor costs. Whether your Aunt deserves it or not, she has been given her share of the will and you delaying this is childish and equally disrespectful to your grandmothers memory. Grow up and fill out the form.

Your Grandma left her estate to be shared equally between her two children. She gave birth to both of them and will have loved them both equally despite the paths they took in life and the decisions they made.

Do you have children? Do you know what it's like to love them all equally and to want to treat them all fairly. If you don't have children, maybe you will one day and you'll understand your Grandma's decision.

Gently OP, holding on to this resentment of your aunt will eat you up and cause you pain, which is the last thing you need when you are grieving. Your aunt has inherited your grandma's money - there is no changing that. Focus on yourself and your mum. Get the form signed and sent to the solicitor, so you don't have to think about it again.
My stepmother did quite a few things I did not agree with around the time of my dad's death and afterwards. I made a conscious decision to let it go, as I was powerless to stop it and me feeling annoyed about it detracted from what was important - remembering what he meant to me and the practicalities of probate etc.
💐

The solicitor will be wanting to wrap the estate up, and deduct their fees! No doubt costing the estate £100 for every letter they send you.
Give it to charity if you don't want it.

But percentages are treated differently to fixed amounts are they not? When dealing with percentages do you not divide it up on the same day to mitigate anyone gaining more interest than the other?

Fixed amounts are that, fixed amounts with no interest or anything else so always paid before percentages.

Anyway OP I don't agree with what you are doing and I presume this is just causing the solicitor a headache who has nothing to do with family politics but I am sorry for your loss.

I'm sorry for your loss. But your dislike of your aunt is totally irrelevant when it comes to distribution of her mother's estate. You loved your grandmother so you should want her wishes to be carried out, and these are her wishes.

There's so much paperwork and stress anyway when someone dies, most people want to get it sorted as quickly as possible. You aren't helping anyone by trying to get revenge on your aunt by trying to stall the process that your grandmother was careful to arrange according to her wishes and having less of her money go to her children and more to lawyers.

I think you're being a bit daft. Dragging your heels over a bit of paper won't do anything for your loved granny now will it? Being spiteful about your aunt is petty. Meanwhile you're wasting money in the estate on legal costs and reducing the 50% your mum will inherit.