To think the bloke who told me off for taking grit out of the grit bin should fuck off

[Birdbox181]

This morning, I had to get my elderly neighbour to a hospital appointment. She has bone cancer in both hips. Her drive way was very slippery this morning. A fall for her could be fatal. She's on crutches.

I drove to the nearest grit bin I could find, filled a bag for life, probably a quarter full and put it down on her front door step, drive way and the pavement outside her property.

As I was putting it into my bag a bloke stopped and reprimanded me, telling me it's not for private use. I explained the situation and but he wasn't interested.

What an absolute cock.

What annoys me is I'd bet quite a lot on the fact he'd never say this to a man! None of his business so yes you are right he should have just *@#^ed off. Well done on your for being such a kind person.

Every council website I've seen states it's for public road and footpath usage only and absolutely not for private land usage.

However OP was clearly in an unexpected bind and most people - and even most councils - aren't going to begrudged a small amount in a one off situations that prevents someone suffering harm. Op says she'd order grit for future so hardly like she planning on making this routine occurrence.

The man wasn't technically wrong at all but he was was nosy and officious.

I would be wondering why he was there with his car. I bet he wants it for his own area.

Agree. Men are always so very bold when it comes to confronting lone women. Rather less so members of their own sex. Wonder why that is.

This reminds me of the early days of covid, and threads about people daring to go and buy milk.
In my opinion taking an elderly person to hospital is public service, and helping her safely to the car made the driveway a public space.
I need Mr Bossy where I live...neighbours using kettles of water on windscreens heading to work and leaving small ice rinks on public roads.

Surely it's like waste bins, benches, bus stops etc ie supplied by the council or Highways Agency or whoever for public use?

What? How do you know that he never does anything for anyone else? You do not!
The fact that he is invested in it is more likely to point to him being the one who grits the pavements on his road. Maybe all and sundry are filling up their own bags, and leaving the road short

You were doing a good thing, but he wasn't wrong.

There's a grit bin in our village, and no exaggeration, every time it's filled it's emptied within 24hrs by people with carrier bags to use on their paths and drives.

There's a very steep junction, that has water drainage issues, where the grit bin is - that's what it's for - but it's always empty. When the parish council complained to Highways about it, they were told it had been filled some ridiculous number of times over the winter and they refused to refill it any more as it was a 'theft hotspot'. They're talking about putting in cameras. It's absolutely mental.

I’m really sorry for your friend’s situation and I’m glad she has your support. I hope her appointment went well. In the circumstances I personally think it was the best ethical solution.

Strictly speaking, they are positioned there by a local authority to make that area safer. People petition the authorities to have one placed when they have a particularly difficult area that isn't gritted by the council.

I have worked with a council to get them positioned on all the footpaths leading to the school, for example, and on a bend on a hill where people were tending to skid. The intention is for locals to use it as needed for that problem. I’d be irritated to find it was doing all the drives two streets over, while the school paths weren’t done. (That’s not what you were doing though)

It’s a system that worked better in the past, when people worked together to clear snow or grit local danger spots. People tend to be less connected now, so they often stay unused.

You sound a right jobsworth. Hope zero people help you when you’re elderly.

Yes, imagine if everyone helping a frail neighbour get to hospital did this, the utter cunts.

Ffs. Of course 'everyone' shouldn't do it. But getting 'mad' about the OPs altruistic common sense is - well - mad.

He was being abusive and well out of order. That grit does not belong to him. What an evil man 😡

And you aren’t supposed to empty your household bins or garden waste into the public bin, in the same way you aren’t supposed to use the grit on your own drive.

It’s for the road and pavement around where it’s situated.

It still happens where I live. Neighbours were out doing it the other morning.

Just as well, as the council gritting lorry only comes as far as the bottom of the hill, and there are several roads and approx 300 houses beyond that point.

He's a twat. You were only trying to help someone and you put some on a public pavement anyway.

it is more likely to point to him being the one who grits the pavements on his road.

Aye, right!

@JammySlag the thing is where do you draw the line of who can take it and who can't?

What about someone taking their 20 year old benefit claimant neighbour to a job interview? That has a net public good, because it could result in them coming off benefits.

Or a young mum taking it to take her child to a park/class to help her mental health?

Everyone will think their reason for taking it is fine, that's the point

Misogyny

You weren't at all unreasonable, but how did he know it wasn't your own grit that you were using?? He sounds like a jumped up little cockweasel, supporting the lady like that was incredibly kind.

The point is that you do not draw the line.

@canyouletthedogoutplease then who does?

Those people aren't at particular risk of catastrophic injury if they fall.

@ErrolTheDragon anyone is at risk of catastrophic injury, technically.

But they all view their reasons for taking it as being a good one.

To be fair, I might gently challenge someone I saw driving up to our grit bin and piling it into bag, but only because the last two times I've been out to grit our (precipitate) road and pavements, it's been nearly empty and it's annoying. Having said that, if that someone then said 'I'm taking it to grit the pavement outside my elderly neighbour's house' I would probably offer to help rather than telling them off...

Let's be reasonable here. The OP was doing her highly vulnerable neighbour a favour and taking her to hospital for an appointment very early in the morning. They weren't to know whether the neighbour had grit or rock salt available and didn't have any themselves. The OP only used a small amount from the community bin, to enable the vulnerable person to attend and is getting some alternative supplies in so they won't have the same issue in the future! The people accusing them of theft, what do you think the OP should have done? Said sorry I'm not taking you because I can't use any council grit? Or run around the country looking for somewhere open to buy some first and potentially not get to hospital on time? Watch the neighbour struggle and fall over?

These sort of petty things are the reason why others decide to stop helping each other and make the world a meaner darker place.

The rational response would be "Well done for being kind and caring about your neighbour. I see why you need the grit this time but it's actually not for putting on private property so you should probably mention it to your neighbour and see if they can get a stock in for future use"