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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think the bloke who told me off for taking grit out of the grit bin should fuck off

377 replies

Birdbox181 · 10/01/2025 12:43

This morning, I had to get my elderly neighbour to a hospital appointment. She has bone cancer in both hips. Her drive way was very slippery this morning. A fall for her could be fatal. She's on crutches.

I drove to the nearest grit bin I could find, filled a bag for life, probably a quarter full and put it down on her front door step, drive way and the pavement outside her property.

As I was putting it into my bag a bloke stopped and reprimanded me, telling me it's not for private use. I explained the situation and but he wasn't interested.

What an absolute cock.

OP posts:
Original poster
Birdbox181 · 10/01/2025 13:13

Magnastorm · 10/01/2025 13:08

If you look up on your council website it will say exactly the criteria around where bins are - which is to serve specific areas and it will say it's for use on public land only. It's pretty obvious that if people rock up from anywhere to nick grit to spread on their private land then it doesn't get used where it's actually intended to be used.

So, putting aside whether you agree with that or not and how he spoke to you, the man was correct.

Edited
Show quote history

Well I still think the distance, in this circumstance is irrelevant. I would have driven across to the other side of town to find some if need be. The bin was full to the brim so obviously no danger of there not being enough to put on the areas needed.

OP posts:
MajorCarolDanvers · 10/01/2025 13:13

Well done on being a good and kind neighbour

canyouletthedogoutplease · 10/01/2025 13:14

Magnastorm · 10/01/2025 13:11

Under the circumstances, which I have already stated, it's understandable why OP did what she did and I think any reasonable person would, once explained, would go "oh, fair enough then", and not be a tosser about it as this guy clearly was.

But that's a separate discussion to "was OP entitled to take the grit and use it as she did?", and, strictly speaking, the answer to that question is no.

Edited
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But OP didn't ask if she wasn entitled to take it. She asked if the bloke who decided it was his remit to scold her for doing so should fuck off.

devilspawn · 10/01/2025 13:14

But in general, it's there for people to use to salt public footpaths that the council can't get to.

I love that people are paying council tax to do the work themselves anyway.

They should get probationers doing it.

chattyness · 10/01/2025 13:14

Just tell him it's going on a public road so everyone who crosses it will benefit from it , he'll be none the wiser.

Fluufer · 10/01/2025 13:15

Do grit bins ever get used by the public on the pavements anyway? I've never actually seen anyone use one in my life, nor have I experienced gritted pavements.
I seriously think the council can spare a bit of salt for an old lady and he should mind his business. Some men just like an excuse to berate a woman. Pay him no notice.

EmmaMaria · 10/01/2025 13:15

Birdbox181 · 10/01/2025 12:59

Really though? Can you really see why he said something? Everyone doesn't take it because everyone doesn't need it. It's not as if everyone else is having to buy their own, they don't, they just manage without because falling over wouldn't break both legs instantly and cause an excruciatingly painful death.

I've never ever seen anyone using them around d here.

Show quote history

Well you had to drive there, so not exactly on your doorstep. So you went somewhere else to get the grit (which he is correct - you should not have used). And whilst you may have had a very good reason, I am sure everyone taking grit that they shouldn't says they have a good reason. From his point of view he just sees you doing what you shouldn't and thinking you have an excuse. The grit in those bins is for public paths and roads, and if everyone just takes it for their own good reasons, are you happy about the people who end up with falls and broken limbs as a result of your or your neighbours drive being ok?

Original poster
Birdbox181 · 10/01/2025 13:15

devilspawn · 10/01/2025 13:12

How's a random guy going to know all that story though, all he's seeing is someone filling a bag.

Show quote history

Because I told him what I was using it for before the lecture started!

OP posts:
mykettle · 10/01/2025 13:15

PigletJohn · 10/01/2025 13:05

It is for public use to spread on the roads and pavements. That's why they are mostly positioned at junctions.

A few greedy homeowners carting it away fir their own drives leaves the roads and pavements untreated.

The sex of the people in the conversation is irrelevant.

@PigletJohn I think if you tried a little harder you could possibly sound even more pompous. Are you the officious tosser grit gatekeeping bloke in the OP?

quantumbutterfly · 10/01/2025 13:15

ScouserInExile · 10/01/2025 13:07

There's two grit bins on our road (Pennine moors, up a hill), it is really intended for road and pavements but sometimes people do fill a bucket for their driveway. In some ways it's excusable when you live on a steep hill - you don't want to skid across the road as you exit your drive - but I don't think it would go down well here if people came up from the non-hilly streets to fill a bag with grit...

Same situation here, very steep hills and icy junctions. Elderly neighbour broke their collarbone outside the corner shop (sloping pavement).
Maybe he was upset because it was a local bin for local people.

Trumptonagain · 10/01/2025 13:16

According to Google....same answer as our local council.

They're to be use only on public roads and footpaths not private households or private roads.

To think the bloke who told me off for taking grit out of the grit bin should fuck off
FoxtonFoxton · 10/01/2025 13:16

I wouldn't worry about it. If he's the type to go on Facebook and write a post on the local page (sounds like he is) then I'm pretty sure you'll be backed up for helping an elderly neighbour out rather than berated for taking a carrier bag of grit. He's not technically wrong, but in the circumstances I wouldn't be apologising. You did the best you could in a situation with an elderly person who is part of the local community.

Pinkyhere · 10/01/2025 13:16

This is a really depressing snap shot of our world.
Incredibly kind and decent of you to help out your neighbour. I'm sure they really appreciate it

canyouletthedogoutplease · 10/01/2025 13:16

lostinthememory · 10/01/2025 13:13

@canyouletthedogoutplease but that's not what it's there for.

If OP cares so much, why not get a 10kg bag on Amazon for a tenner and make sure her neighbour is always safe, instead of stealing public resources?

Had OP ordered and had delivered a 10kg bag of grit in time to use that instead I'm sure she wouldn't have been driving around trying to find some.

She clearly "cares so much" about her elderly neighbour, more than a shovel full of grit. I know which I find more reasonable.

toomuchfaff · 10/01/2025 13:17

ignore the neanderthal idiot. Take a bucket, fill it up.

would they prefer the neighbour break a hip

Pineapplewaves · 10/01/2025 13:17

Where I live the council are slow to fill the grit bins (and when yours is empty you have to request a refill online), people get angry when one street empties their bin and then walks round to another street to get more grit for their street. Last time it snowed really hard there was grit bins war going on between some streets! I can see how the bloke wasn't happy that you were taking grit from a street you don't live in.

As you were driving, could you not have called in at the nearest garage/supermarket and bought a bag.

In the long term I would get onto the council about getting a grit bin in your street or make sure you have a bag of salt in the garage/shed for next time.

Afraidofhimrightnow · 10/01/2025 13:19

Birdbox181 · 10/01/2025 12:53

His issue was that I was using it on private property. Now I always thought they were just for anyone to use, I've never used it before today but that's just what I assumed.

I didn't tell him he was wrong, I just explained why I needed to take some. He told me I should buy my own! I said it wasn't for me, my neighbour can't buy her own.

He's right although I understand why you tried to help. Everyone here buys their own.

lostinthememory · 10/01/2025 13:20

toomuchfaff · 10/01/2025 13:17

ignore the neanderthal idiot. Take a bucket, fill it up.

would they prefer the neighbour break a hip

Edited

On public roads and footpaths

Fluffyiguana · 10/01/2025 13:20

In a nutshell: miserable begger who'd never do anything for anyone has an issue over a neighbour helping out a vulnerable person with a couple of cups of salt.

Newtrix · 10/01/2025 13:20

Wallacewhite · 10/01/2025 12:49

I don't know what kind of community you live in but taking grit to help a vulnerable neighbour would be seen as very much within the spirit of the rules where I live.

It hardly helps the public purse if this lady slips and requires an ambulance and hospital stay.

Same here, someone would have helped rather than have a go at you.

Blairwitch82 · 10/01/2025 13:20

You used your initiative to make sure this lady was safe.

Anyone who cares you did this needs to get a life!

you sound very kind and your neighbour is lucky to have you.

TooExtraImmatureCheddar · 10/01/2025 13:20

In our area, men in white vans were driving to the newly refilled grit bins and emptying the whole lot into bags, loading them up and driving away. Maybe he was worried about that.

YourHappyJadeEagle · 10/01/2025 13:20

Some men people need to get a life.
You were helping a neighbour.
You risk assessed the surface and adjusted it accordingly.
You may have prevented serious injury, saving the NHS £££. And your neighbour more pain.
We all pay for the bloody grit through Council tax and taxes. And it’s cheap as chips.

I wonder what random man does to help others?

Original poster
Birdbox181 · 10/01/2025 13:21

Pineapplewaves · 10/01/2025 13:17

Where I live the council are slow to fill the grit bins (and when yours is empty you have to request a refill online), people get angry when one street empties their bin and then walks round to another street to get more grit for their street. Last time it snowed really hard there was grit bins war going on between some streets! I can see how the bloke wasn't happy that you were taking grit from a street you don't live in.

As you were driving, could you not have called in at the nearest garage/supermarket and bought a bag.

In the long term I would get onto the council about getting a grit bin in your street or make sure you have a bag of salt in the garage/shed for next time.

It was 7.30 in the morning, we had an hours drive to the hospital. I didn't have time to drive around to see which shops were open and which ones were selling grit.

Can't believe some of the responses on here. What an earth is this world coming to.

OP posts:
PuggyPuggyPuggy · 10/01/2025 13:21

The thing is though - even allowing for the fact that the grit is for use on public footpaths ONLY - arriving in a car to get some grit doesn't mean that you are using it on someone's private property (even if in this case, OP was). All it means is that you don't want to lug a bag of grit from the nearest grit bin to the hypothetical public footpath you are planning to grit.

So if some bossy Neighbourhood Watch type question you, just don't say "I'm gritting my vulnerable neighbour's drive so she can safely get out of the house and to her cancer appointment". Say "need some grit up our way and this is the nearest bin". Or even "mind your own business, you nosy bastard" 😆

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