To think that if you have noisy unnecessary building works done, you lose the right to object to noise made by your neighbours?

[CrispieCake]

Inspired by another thread. AIBU to think that if you subject your neighbours to months of disruption and misery in their own homes so that you can have a bigger kitchen or loft conversion (and particularly if you move elsewhere so you're not disturbed), then it's open season on you as far as noise is concerned from then on? You lose your right to object to your neighbours' babies crying, kids screaming, pool parties, garden raves, essentially any lawful use of their property from then onwards. And if you try to complain to them, they're fully justified in laughing incredulously, shutting the door in your face and inviting 20 5 year olds round to go wild in the paddling pool.

I know I'm not BU on this but interested to know what others think.

Indeed. I would just like to point out that I haven't called anyone "jealous", "cunt", "twat", "twisted" or "bitter" 😂. So I'm hardly likely to care about the views of those who have - they're probably the ones who think it is ok to subject their neighbours to months of disruption and they should still smile nicely and take in their parcels!

What's the use of a party wall agreement when your little kids can't nap and plaster is falling down on their heads?

Grow up!

Building work is noisy OP. What do you expect them to do? Genuinely...

Not do building work ever apparently 🤷🏼‍♀️

The op thinks it's unreasonable to want to improve your own house.

It must be hard getting through Life being so angry at other people!

Yes neighbours getting building work is a pain but it's life and it's short lived (months maybe a year at most)

Neighbours who just live in a very noisy way is hell on earth!

If the building works damaged your house did you get the builders and the home owners over and get them to fix?

Deliberate or inconsiderate noise is not reasonable. And refusing to make sure that your family noise is kept to reasonable levels is not a good approach, however cross you feel about the building works.

I would find it difficult if neighbors (who move out for renovations) move back in and then complain about our noise or parking. I feel like you need to give it a few months and accept that your 25 vans and skips made it a pain in the arse for everyone else and you don't get to complain for a while. But not indefinitely and there's also a limit to nonsense- a wild party till 4am is beyond ridiculous.

What's the use of a party wall agreement when your little kids can't nap and plaster is falling down on their heads?

Did you ask them to fix the damage?

Er... a few months of disruption doesn't mean it's a free pass for you for the next 20 years 🙄

This.

And frankly having lived for 6 months in a terrace house where the next door terrace was being totally renovated, you are being hysterically unreasonable about the noise. Building noise generally stops at 4pm and rarely intrudes on the weekend. And it’s just not that noisy, frankly.

You sound like a really irritating neighbour @CrispieCake

Improving your home can be very annoying for others but that's temporary and not usually done deliberately to annoy others.

Playing loud music, encouraging kids to run around screaming, other ways of making unnecessary noise to passive aggressively upset your neighbours is being a complete dick.

What I was getting from the OP is, if you’ve been having building work done for months and your neighbours have been putting up with it in good spirits, then I probably wouldn’t use that moment to complain about noise they’re making. I’d probably think, well I’m glad they’re making a bit of noise, so I don’t feel so bad now.

As always on here, if the OP had come on saying ‘I’ve been having building work done for months, but I complained to my next-door neighbours about their son doing his drum practice, and they got upset about it, AIBU?’ she would have been absolutely ripped a new one over 999 comments. So honestly, just ignore it, people just like to put the boot in when they don’t dare in real life, it’s a hobby. They’ll be busy enough on another thread soon telling somebody with an arm hanging off not to go to A&E if it’s not an accident or an emergency.

Do people completely lack any type of reading comprehension or nuance here?

@CrispieCake am I correct in thinking that your neighbours have had noisy building works for months, and that you’ve put up with that without complaining?

But they then came over and complained about some inadvertent noise you made, which then frustrated you so you’ve made a joke here about making nonstop noise to let off a bit of steam. As in, a joke, because you’re frustrated by their front? Because that’s what I’m getting and it seemed pretty clear to me. I’d have been annoyed too, and probably let off some steam elsewhere about it.

However reasonable your views are, the law does not work like that. I think the laws about noise seem to be outdated, analogue law in a digital world.

‘I’ve been having building work done for months, but I complained to my next-door neighbours about their son doing his drum practice, and they got upset about it, AIBU?’

But there's actually a difference between building work, which is generally 8am to 4pm, Monday to Friday, and a child learning the drums at any hour, but presumably in the afternoon/evening over and over and over. Especially if the OP is as vindictive IRL as she seems to be on this thread - does she require her DC to use practice pads or encourage them to make a racket?

@CrispieCake seems disproportionately angry about renovations she thinks were "unnecessary" - but that's a very biased view, and ignorant of the conditions of the house being renovated. It sounds as though she's got a bee in her bonnet - that any building works just should NOT dare to disturb her (sounds very entitled, frankly), and I think she's just wound herself up.

Generally speaking, consideration goes both ways and if I were the one who had recently renovated, I would definitely be far more tolerant in light of the neighbours having experienced months of noise, dust and disruption.

However, the more you post OP, the more you show how petty and spiteful you are which is never going to result in happiness. All relationships are give and take and over the many years you live next to them, you will have to do both

Especially if the OP is as vindictive IRL as she seems to be on this thread

She seemed to be lighthearted and mildly frustrated at the beginning, and then there was an absolutely massive pile-on to her, it’s kind of hard to stay perfectly relaxed and not respond to any of that vitriol in kind. I don’t know, I think she’s done pretty well. I’m guessing she’s not vindictive just a bit frustrated by the lack of tolerance going both ways – on this thread and in real life!

Indeed 😂. It's about give and take. But I've clearly hit a nerve here. God forbid that one should spend thousands on home renovations and then be unable to enjoy them in perfect peace and quiet.

It's actually been quite interesting to see the responses and the fact that subjecting your neighbours to intrusive and continuous disruption is considered justified because "it's improvement, you know!" But, even after this, the neighbours should still do everything they can not to disrupt your Saturday lie-in. Still, despite the vitriol that's come my way, I'm not convinced that I'm the unreasonable one 😉.

I still take in parcels for them - if I was truly petty and spiteful, I'd make them trek to the sorting office 😂.

What kind of kids' noise?

If the kids are fighting with one another or you have a crying baby then ignore.

Then if they come around the next time be welcoming and invite them in to adjudicate over the kids' fight or simply hand the crying baby to them. (I know people who have done the latter. It shuts the neighbours up. )

If your kid is practicing an instrument get your kid to practice in the early evening for up to 2 hours and tell your neighbour to go away. Repeat the message if they come round again.

Stop taking that neighbours parcels in then.

One of my neighbours has been an a-hole to loads of other neighbours including myself, so no-one now takes their parcels in.

You simply tell the courier/postman you can't take that door number's parcels anymore. They will stop trying after 2 attempts.

Everyone takes everyone else's in.

As someone who lives in a 1950s semi with a totally inconsiderate neighbour who lives with 3 loud and obnoxious kids that she regularly screams at, plus an untrained dog (beagle) that cries/howls all the time, especially when left home alone, I’m on the side of your neighbours. I WFH and some years back when at its worst, actually had colleagues comment on the background noise coming from next door when on a video meeting as it was that loud.
We’ve reported to the council twice and had some verbal altercations with both the Mum and her parents (who visit regularly) after some of the worst episodes of sustained and unreasonable noise (think strangers who were walking their dogs past the house knocking at my door due to the dog being left outside howling all day to ask if I had my neighbours contact details or the kids playing a game involving parkour jumping from sofa to sofa, banging the ceiling and walls for 2.5 hours when left alone one evening). It’s got better as the kids have grown up and are spending less time at home, but there’s still the odd day when the bloody dog won’t stop howling when I feel like ripping my ears off!

We also had the neighbour behind have a new kitchen and extension, new roof, windows etc and whilst it went on for months and there was noise, it was at least restricted to certain days and times so was far easier to cope with.

i think its about showing basic consideration for others. Deliberately being petty or aggravating for a reaction is just not worth it.

Don’t make them go to the sorting office OP, that’s vindictive, just go and ring their doorbell at 5AM to give them the parcels 😆

Quite the charmer @CrispieCake . Your parents must be so proud.