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Original poster

Inappropriate insults about height.

82 replies

MrsMyagi · 08/01/2025 21:16

Is it only me or would others find this to be rude? I work in a supermarket and a colleague has made frequent jokes about my height whilst I am stacking shelves. Today he called me a short arse. I am 5 foot 4 inches so not short and I am actually the average height of a UK woman. I find it ridiculous that in today's society were being kind is encouraged that individuals think it is ok to poke fun at people's/my height or point out anyone's features.

OP posts:
Kaminari · 08/01/2025 21:56

Spirallingdownwards · 08/01/2025 21:54

You aren't short. I am 5 ft. That is short. But I also wouldn't be worked up by being called a short arse. It's usually used as a term of endearment rather than an insult.

Me too, people really give a shit about these things?!

loropianalover · 08/01/2025 21:58

MrsMyagi · 08/01/2025 21:47

I find it hurtful because I have never seen myself as short and now it has made me self conscious.

Show quote history

But why would being short make you feel self conscious anyway?

He sounds annoying but I do think you’re over thinking it.

OrangeKettle · 08/01/2025 21:58

I’m 6’. I’ve had no end of comments and insults. People are just dicks.

Original poster
MrsMyagi · 08/01/2025 21:59

It has taken me years to be comfortable in my own skin. These comments have me doubting myself. I also have OCD so now it is all I can think about. That is why it bothers me.

OP posts:
tinytemper66 · 08/01/2025 22:00

Tell him they don't make diamonds 💎 as big as bricks 🧱

TwattyMcFuckFace · 08/01/2025 22:01

MrsMyagi · 08/01/2025 21:59

It has taken me years to be comfortable in my own skin. These comments have me doubting myself. I also have OCD so now it is all I can think about. That is why it bothers me.

How many times have you told this person to stop?

To4rb · 08/01/2025 22:04

I m 5 foot 10, so unusually tall for a woman and the amount of comments I get about my height never ceases to amaze me. I find it really upsetting; I know I shouldn't but I'm shy and retiring and hate to stand out. I started a new job recently and hadn't met people in real life till our team meeting. Fully 3 different people all say "ooh aren't you tall?!" and a fourth said (inexplicably) I didn't think you'd be this tall when I saw you on Teams. I'd love to come back with a witty remark but I can't think of anything so I just seethe to myself 😳😤 I dated a man who was shorter than average (5ft 4) and the amount of comments we got when we went out was unreal. One acquaintance even asked how we had sex!! And he had to deal with comments all the time when he was out by himself, too. People calling him a hobbit (it was around the time the film came out). He found it really upsetting even though he'd learnt that the only way to get on in life was to laugh along with the "bantz" (especially with drunk men, who could get really nasty really fast, if they could sense he was annoyed by their stupid comments).

So I am not surprised if you're upset by this guy's behaviour; he sounds like a massive twat.

loropianalover · 08/01/2025 22:05

MrsMyagi · 08/01/2025 21:59

It has taken me years to be comfortable in my own skin. These comments have me doubting myself. I also have OCD so now it is all I can think about. That is why it bothers me.

Are you getting help for your OCD? Perhaps it would be beneficial to speak with your GP or a therapist. It does seem like an out of proportion reaction to a comment about your height, it really shouldn’t be something you give a second thought to. I’d focus on those OCD thoughts and patterns and how to break them, rather than the colleague themselves.

Princessconsuelabananahammock9 · 08/01/2025 22:06

MrsMyagi · 08/01/2025 21:59

It has taken me years to be comfortable in my own skin. These comments have me doubting myself. I also have OCD so now it is all I can think about. That is why it bothers me.

I have ocd and an extensive history of anorexia, but I still don't think being short is a bad thing? I don't see being tall or any height as a bad thing?

Can you explain why being short is a negative?

Original poster
MrsMyagi · 08/01/2025 22:07

TwattyMcFuckFace · 08/01/2025 22:01

How many times have you told this person to stop?

Show quote history

At 1st I would tell him after a few comments made. Now I tell him everytime to stop. It is unwanted.

OP posts:
PyongyangKipperbang · 08/01/2025 22:09

"I have noticed you say this a lot, do you have a bit of a complex about....size?!" with a downwards glance and laugh.

WoahThreeAces · 08/01/2025 22:09

I don't really understand insults about height. Obviously "short arse" isn't being meant as a compliment but it makes no sense to try and insult someone by commenting on their height - it's just a descriptor, just a fact about a person. It's only an insult if somehow short = negative. Does it? I can't see how. Is being short a bad thing? Is it better to be tall? I genuinely don't get it

Original poster
MrsMyagi · 08/01/2025 22:11

loropianalover · 08/01/2025 22:05

Are you getting help for your OCD? Perhaps it would be beneficial to speak with your GP or a therapist. It does seem like an out of proportion reaction to a comment about your height, it really shouldn’t be something you give a second thought to. I’d focus on those OCD thoughts and patterns and how to break them, rather than the colleague themselves.

Show quote history

I practice mindfulness and have CBT. The comments just stick. I spent a long time trying to feel comfortable in my own skin and it is a set back. It makes me feel like I am not enough. Like I should be slimmer. I should be prettier. I should be taller.

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsMyagi · 08/01/2025 22:15

Princessconsuelabananahammock9 · 08/01/2025 22:06

I have ocd and an extensive history of anorexia, but I still don't think being short is a bad thing? I don't see being tall or any height as a bad thing?

Can you explain why being short is a negative?

Show quote history

I didn't say being short was a negative thing I said it made me feel self conscious. He could of said I was really tall and I would still be bothered. It is the way my mind is wired.

OP posts:
romdowa · 08/01/2025 22:22

I'm just under 5 foot 2 , so I'm short and I'd be asking lurch what his point I'd exactly ?

ClearHoldBuild · 08/01/2025 22:23

MrsMyagi · 08/01/2025 21:28

I don't see it as banter because it is one sided. I try and laugh it off but it is hurtful. I mean I don't consider myself to be small and if I am there is nothing I can do to change it.

Tell him one of the following:
Shut up
Grow up
You’re not funny
You’re making me uncomfortable
Have you nothing nice to say
Stop it

Enough4me · 08/01/2025 22:29

My mind is wired so that my natural feeling would be rage, I would feel adrenaline jump. However, I know the clever response is to be boring. I'm a bit shorter than you OP, my response would be, "yes I'm tiny". Any future banter, "yes short".

The more boring you are the better. It cuts through "banter". Meanwhile be busy on your work and find others to chat to on breaks. He'll move on when you're not his entertainment.

heroinechic · 08/01/2025 22:31

I'd consider you short because I'm 5ft 8 but I wouldn't think calling someone a short is a bad thing. Some people are short and some people are tall but neither are good or bad. If I commented that someone was short it wouldn't even occur to me that they would find that hurtful.

That said, my SIL is under 5ft and my brother is 6ft 5 and I know she finds the jokes tiresome (not jokes made by me!).

LostittoBostik · 08/01/2025 22:35

I'm 5ft. The jokes are a permanent fixture in my life. It's so fucking boring. This place was alive with them about Rishi Sunak a couple of years ago.

Thepossibility · 08/01/2025 22:37

Say “BORING" every time he says something. He's probably trying to flirt with you so a little blow to his ego should shut him up.

AlbertAvocado · 08/01/2025 22:42

Oh I love being short, so couldn't be insulted about it so that wouldn't offend me. But I would always retort, as a pp said, that things only grow til they're perfect.

Madcats · 08/01/2025 22:43

I am old enough and well travelled enough (be it in planes, trains, buses, elderly buildings) to be thankful to be a shortarse (160cm/ 5ft 2in, but probably shrinking).

At least I can jump on a pair of steps to reach something (or ask somebody to help me). Tall people must suffer on most planes/trains/cars/houses?

I don't pay 20% VAT on plenty of clothing, either?

AngelinaFibres · 08/01/2025 22:44

MrsMyagi · 08/01/2025 21:28

I don't see it as banter because it is one sided. I try and laugh it off but it is hurtful. I mean I don't consider myself to be small and if I am there is nothing I can do to change it.

I'm 5'4". That's not short for a woman. It's UK average height and clothes are designed for this height. It's why tall women and actual short women find it difficult to find things that fit lengthwise. If someone laughed at me for being short I would think they were an idiot. I am nor short and neither are you

HeeleighWay · 08/01/2025 22:55

I'm 5ft 4 and have been called short arse a few times when I'm stood next to tall people. Doesn't bother me at all, I feel short when I'm stood next to them. I know I'm not short though, I'm average.

BashfulClam · 08/01/2025 22:59

I’m 5’9” so you would be short in my eyes but it’s not something I’d mention. Now my wee mammy at 4’11’ with 6’4” son and 5’9” daughter gets a lot of slagging from us. We even walk either side of her as it annoys her because it makes her look tiny, we just say we’re her bouncers.

I have been dumped and turned down by men for being ‘too tall’ so it’s not always nice up here either.

Mind you my friends Husband is 6’8” so maybe he should come to your work and call this guy a short arse.

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