Parents complaining about this in school?

[WillowAnn]

DC are not properly watched whilst eating at dinner time and allowed to just go outside whenever they’re finished. So they could basically have no dinner or just a very small amount and then go out to play. Staff don’t advise them to eat more or say they can’t go out until they’ve eaten. Parents are complaining. Any thoughts?

I think it is bad manners to leave the table when others are eating and it is not teaching table manners properly. It also means the slower eaters are left sitting alone each day. Should be a set time to eat and talk and then all leave after that set time. Prevents rushing and also teaches table manners when some have finished.

When dd was younger, they were encouraged but not forced. This seems like a good compromise. Perhaps they do that at your dc’s school. Eating lunch helps to focus in afternoon lessons.

How many dinner ladies is it going to take to police that? It's never entered my head to be honest. Even my fussy child eats when he's hungry and isn't underweight. Overeating on the other hand, combined with inactivity, seems to be a much bigger problem today.

Give them a good breakfast, healthy snack after school, good dinner.
Then they’ll eat lunch if they are hungry, but it doesn’t matter if they don’t.

They’ll eat if they’re hungry is a myth. Some children absolutely won’t.

Lazy journo?

Exactly. One of my DC’s has additional needs and can be slow to start and eat lunch. Some days they come home distraught with hunger, only for me to find they ate hardly any lunch. As soon as they see their friends getting up to go out to play, they do the same (and are sometimes encouraged to by their friends). If they all had to sit there for a set amount of time, then DC and others
like them would eat more. I also don’t like the idea of some children being rewarded by longer playing time just because they can stuff their lunch in in 5 minutes.

What a strange thing to say.

It was a teacher in the early 70s who forced me to eat school lunches even when I vomited the it all back onto the plate! She patrolled Thursday lunches which was always some sort or roast. It took me years to get over it and I’ve never eaten cabbage carrots or mashed potato again and it took me years to enjoy a roast dinner and I’m still unenthusiastic about roast potatoes. Over 50 years later reading this thread brings the memories flooding back.

Who are you in this?

Personally I think it's fine, if the kids are hungry they'll eat. They'll soon work out if they're too hungry at the end of the day they should have eaten lunch.

Oh dear me! That's torture. I'm so so sorry

What are your thoughts?
How old are the children? Are they going hungry?

Kids need exercise. It's not fair to make them sit longer for no good reason. If they've finished then they should be able to leave to get moving and have a break. They'll be sitting down in the class room again soon enough.

Primary level - vegetables and fruit encouraged

Secondary - yes food consumption is discreetly monitored to check for eating disorders

I think an occasional eye to identify kids that aren't eating and talk about why / mention to parents is useful. DS had a little patch of not eating when he was upset, but moved school and he's been fine since. It would have been nice if the previous school had said he wasn't eating, or tried to help with the bullying in any way at all really, but worked out for the best as he's much happier now.

Some children might be regularly sent with an inadequate lunch, which would be a safeguarding concern. A child might choke (has not been unheard of children dying) so yes, someone should definitely be supervising

Yes me too and I’m in my 60’s!
Unfortunately school dinners were ghastly then and still terrible when I worked in a school a few years ago.
It always makes me laugh when people talk about children needing FSM to have a nutritious meal; it’s all white carbohydrates. A sandwich and a piece of fruit is much healthier.

Primary school or secondary? Big difference. In primary I'd expect supervisors to be gently encouraging the infants at least to eat and correcting any bad habits. If my child really wasn't eating well I'd expect a supervisor/teacher to have a quick word with me about it. In secondary I wouldn't expect any supervisor to have the slightest bit of interest in what or how my child is eating unless there's any glaring behavioural problems or eating disorder. In neither school would I expect someone to force my child to eat or stop them leaving to enjoy their precious and limited playtime without my prior agreement.

That's the thing. Their job is to help ensure no one dies at lunchtime. Sounds strange to say it but it is. So they don't need the distraction of force feeding kids

They definitely can’t win on this one.

Parents will complain if children are asked to eat a bit more and parents will complain if they’re not!

In our school, the lunchtime staff ask children to raise their hand when they’ve finished, they check the plate and, as long as the child has tried to eat, allow them to go. I’ve seen older children get their food from the pass and walk straight to the bin to scrape it in then vanish outside, it’s always flagged and they will be asked about it but the level of waste is ridiculous.

At the school I worked at dinner sessions only had 2 midday supervisors, 2 TA's and in the lower years (Reception to Yr 3) the class teacher for the 1st 15 mins. For 60 plus children.

We could encourage children to eat, but we couldn't force children to eat. Also we had to teach them how to use cutlery, sit at a table and not to mention one the main reason they didn't eat the food is because it was different to what they ate at home.

Just to add reception children lunch was at 11.45 so of course come 3pm they were hungry

Both of my kids weren't eating their lunch properly when they had school dinners. They were ravenous when they got in. I asked them whether they had eaten their lunch but didn't get much of a response (aged 5) so asked school if a lunch monitor could keep an eye out and let me know how they got on over a course of a week. Dd1 would eat a few bites whereas ds was just eating his fruit or dessert then rushing out to play. For dd1 she just found the food bland which of course it was compared to the food I cook whereas ds just wanted to play. I spoke to both, switched to packed lunches so they had more of a say and are eating much better. I could always make sure they had a good breakfast but I can see the worry if kids are going to breakfast club as well as having lunch at school.

Like everything it's a collaborative approach with school. They helped keep an eye when I asked, I made changes to suit my kids ( more work for me) but it resulted in less food waste and kids were actually eating which helps with attention and learning.

Children should be trusted to eat as little or as much food as they need. Forcing kids to eat or not eat is how eating disorders and food aversions are created. Adults should be responsible for providing healthy, tasty foods and kids should be responsible for deciding which of these they eat and how much. They don't need the food police glowering down at them demanding they eat another forkful of broccoli. It's counterproductive.

Primary or secondary? Big difference.