Boyfriends group chat

[Darlista]

My boyfriend and father to my child is in a group chat with a few of his male friends. In this group chat is typical 'lad' (🤮) behaviour - crude jokes, nude photos of naked wrestler women but also photos of their family and wrestling chat. None of this affects me in any way, other than it's a bit immature.
What does bother me is that every now and again, the other boys will send current photos of women my boyfriend has had history with, into the chat, usually making fun of them.
My boyfriend doesn't respond to these messages, only responds to the wrestling ones. But am I unreasonable to think that it's disrespectful to be in there and not remove himself, or even just pull them up on why they are sending these photos of these women ? There are none from women in hus friends history.
He thinks I'm out of order because I'm angry at him, weve got in an argument, and because he's protesting he's in the right I've called him a few names in frustration. Am I out of order here? I'm happy to accept this if the majority agree!

Just to add, I’m also unhappy about the ‘jokes’ the post about these women, without their knowledge.

Congratulations. You’ve had a child with an immature dickhead

Are you checking his phone regularly? If so does he check yours?

No, I don’t check his phone regularly. He handed me his phone to look at something else.

He and his friends sound equally disgusting.

The group chat is no secret, I already knew it was there, and had no issue until I found out there were pics being shared of women from his past, and only his past.

Fair enough. It just seeming from your first post that you might check regularly since you say What does bother me is that every now and again, the other boys will send current photos of women my boyfriend has had history with, into the chat, usually making fun of them.
But yeah, previous poster has it right - you have lumbered yourself with a knuckle dragger.

So you have no issue with him and his friends being crass, misogynistic idiots in general?

Actually, if I’m honest I do have an issue with it. But I don’t want to be labeled as being ‘jealous’ or making a deal of something that ‘all’ men’s group chat do. I am not jealous of that in the slightest.

Im just so frustrated. And feel disrespected.

Not all men's group chats are like this. Many are. What are you going to do about it? It sounds as your concerns are not his priority.

My concerns are just me nagging at him I think.

Thats why I’ve come here. Because in started to beleive that I’m just a nagging cow. When I know in reality, most women would feel the exact same as me.

He is not pulling them up because he has no issue with it.

Who he surrounds himself with is who he is.

@Darlista have you said to him you feel disrespected and so forth?

He said he hasn’t as he doesn’t want it to be ‘weird’ .

Just to add he has never reacted to any of the crude stuff on there. But that to me, isn’t the point.

Yes I’ve told him. It ended in an argument and me getting frustrated because he thinks it’s not disrespectful as he doesn’t comment on these women’s photos.

So his mates slagging off his ex partners doesn't bother him? He doesn't have the guts to tell them to stop?

But who would be ‘labelling’ you — the man who’s supposed to love you? His idiot friends? I don’t know any adult man who would think it was normal to have a group chat to share photos of nude women and be unpleasant about one member’s former girlfriends.

if this bothers you then I think you should do some digging because I doubt they would send him those photos unless that’s what they talk about maybe he doesn’t respond to them because he knows you could see

You best explain to him it gives you the ick and you will have to reconsider your relationship of he doesn't withdraw from the group chat. Ask him if he understands.
Then he should tell his friends he thinks it's disgusting and mean it.
It's your life.

I’ve asked why is it only these women they make fun of and he’s said it’s because they are the ‘village nutters’ so to speak. Which I believe says a LOT about him.
These women, in all honestly do seem like they have personal issues going on (even more reason to not make fun of them imo), so he’s saying it’s nothing to do with him, and as he’s not the one making fun of them, he’s done nothing wrong, he’s not disrespecting me.

My ex was abusive and he would often argue that he wasn’t responsible for others actions like when women he was previously involved with were flirting with him and he was condoning it funny how he’s got no problem speaking up for himself in other circumstances, he picked and chose and that’s for a reason you are right to be angry cos if he had a problem he would’ve said or done something about it. I suggest you do some more digging into what else he’s been doing

I'm now curious about nude photos of wrestler women 😅. Might have to Google that

I’ve honestly no idea myself 😂

In this group chat is typical 'lad' (🤮) behaviour - crude jokes, nude photos of naked wrestler women

and

But I don’t want to be labeled as being ‘jealous’ or making a deal of something that ‘all’ men’s group chat do.

Just so you know, "all" men (or lads) don't have group chats with pictures of naked women in. Nor do they have group chats to mock various women.

There are also plenty of men who would object if someone in their chat did either of these.

Dig for what exactly?

But I agree. He’s known previously it upset me. Instead of doing something about it, he did nothing. And he feels that’s enough.

Sorry if I’ve missed it, but how old are they all?

It sounds like juvenile misogynistic shit that a bunch of 17 year olds would find funny.