Boyfriends group chat

[Darlista]

My boyfriend and father to my child is in a group chat with a few of his male friends. In this group chat is typical 'lad' (🤮) behaviour - crude jokes, nude photos of naked wrestler women but also photos of their family and wrestling chat. None of this affects me in any way, other than it's a bit immature.
What does bother me is that every now and again, the other boys will send current photos of women my boyfriend has had history with, into the chat, usually making fun of them.
My boyfriend doesn't respond to these messages, only responds to the wrestling ones. But am I unreasonable to think that it's disrespectful to be in there and not remove himself, or even just pull them up on why they are sending these photos of these women ? There are none from women in hus friends history.
He thinks I'm out of order because I'm angry at him, weve got in an argument, and because he's protesting he's in the right I've called him a few names in frustration. Am I out of order here? I'm happy to accept this if the majority agree!

Just to add, I’m also unhappy about the ‘jokes’ the post about these women, without their knowledge.

Oh I know! And I’ve told him this

Say you split up, will pics of you become the fodder for the group chat?

It's gross really.

If you don’t agree with what he’s been doing here there will be other things you don’t know about. It doesn’t upset him that’s why he hasn’t done anything

Pushing 40!

Because in started to beleive that I’m just a nagging cow.

Do you mean 'Because I'm being made to feel that I'm just a nagging cow'?

I dont think there are other things in all honestly. But this alone is enough for me to be pissed off.

I could never fancy a laddish man like this.

Sorry I know that doesn’t help! But honestly all of the stuff in the group chat sounds equally off-putting to me. Not sure why you’re singling out the thing about the exes.

Wow.

I’m sorry OP, but he really needs to leave the chat if his mates continue this type of behaviour. And he absolutely needs to grow some balls and call them out. It’s actually quite disturbing.

Imagine if you give birth to a daughter. Would he be happy to know that pictures of his (adult/teen) daughter were shared around with males in a group chat to be laughed at?

I’ve not seen him post any laddish stuff. He said it started off as a wrestling group chat.

But I totally agree. Even him being in this group chat is a huge turn off.

He has now left the chat. I’m still massively upset it took me being upset and frustrated to do it. And I feel controlling and possessive and insecure. All things of which I’m not.

So much going on around a group chat..... Naked wrestler women. Pictures of his ex's and them all making fun of the ex's. Him not joining in but saying to you these women are the village nutters (who, he has been involved with at some point despite saying they are nutters, will he be calling you a village nutters once you're through? Will his mates be making fun of you similarly?), him not calling his friends out because they all think this is totally normal, and you also state that it's generally a normal mens group chat.

He doesn't sound like a great catch x

Had one of those too, OP. Group chat included pictures of women, dehumanising language about women and lots of joking about sex ans looks. Just guys’ banter although out of these ‘guys’ 3/5 are divorced after repeated infidelities despite having children. Does he go on European stag dos by any chance?!

Repellant, repugnant, emotionally challenged and stunted pathetic excuses for men have group chats like this, refer to their friends as 'the boys' and exchange pictures and messages of this nature - you have, unfortunately, landed yourself one of these. Let it slither back into the gutter and search for something more akin to a decent human being. Yuk!

We have a beautiful daughter, as do some of the men in the chat. They even post photos of their children int his same chat.

I know for a fact he would never want any one to upset her in her life. I just wish he would feel the same about me.

What do you think about my comment

He and his friends sound like utter dicks. He has left the group but I bet you any money he will re join it.

I agree with what you are saying about him not caring about my feelings enough. Or at least he cares more about not upsetting these men over my feelings.
I’m not sure about what you mean by ‘there’s more’ though.
For context boyfriend doesn’t go out, meet these friends, or hang around with them any more. I think they are school friends/old friends who were also wrestling fans.

He's not responsible for what his dickhead mates are posting in the group and if he's not responding to their posts, I can't see what he's done wrong to be honest, except being friends with dickheads!

Fair reply. And this is his point. Can you see why I’d be upset though?

So you know that if you and he split up, your photos would be on that chat, everybody would be slagging you off and he wouldn't be saying a word to defend you.

I don’t think I would. They don’t know me personally. We live in a different town now. They personally know these women. I suppose that’s not the point though.

Jeez, if ever there was advert for PIN locking one’s phone… this thread is it!

Not really. I don't think I'd be upset with him. I might question his judgement being friends with the immature twats in the group though!

Not saying my relationship is healthy - wouldn’t be here if it was. But pin locking phones to hide stuff from the person you love really isn’t the best base.

It sounds like they bully him tbh. They post pics of past gf and make fun. They have drawn the line at pics of you though.
im not defending the posters, just saying it sounds like more about them than your DH.