Nobody fed the baby.

[shaylla]

I need a bit of perspective from others point of view here please.

A 13 month old - given breakfast at 7.30, then instead of his normal lunch is only given half an eggs worth of scrambled egg at lunch time. No water or milk all day then till 5 when another adult returns home and finds out (and feeds baby immediately). The adult/s in charge of the baby all day 'didn't realise' ... ??

This is neglect yes?

Surely a 13 month old would make it known they wanted something by crying, or pointing? I don’t believe a child of that age wouldn’t make a noise because it had ‘learned to be quiet’.

It's not 40 calories all day though is it.

The child had breakfast, half an egg for lunch and then tea after 5pm

The no water/milk is a problem but the baby will not have starved

The OP won't give more details but aside from the lack of liquids which is bad, it's not 40 calories.

Babies and toddlers are at a higher risk of dehydration than older kids and adults. In the course of a virus, if a baby throws up too much, they can need IV fluids. In this case, the baby may become listless and not even cry.

Horrific that someone would forget.

I think you need to say what the actual circumstances were before we can say if it was just a fuck up or neglect.

Teen cousin watching the baby during a family emergency - fuck up
Dad doing a shit job because he had a load of mates round to watch sport - neglect

Babies usually make their needs known - vocally. Presumably if she was hungry or thirsty, she’d have been wailing - and someone would then have thought to feed her. I agree, it’s not great if she was basically forgotten about, but you haven’t told us the circumstances (eg was she left at short notice in an emergency with pretty inexperienced people who meant well but didn’t know what they should be doing). If she hasn’t come to any harm, it’s probably better just to chalk it up as not the best day.

This makes a little more sense, although it's still not really good enough from two adults (at least, if not more?)
What about bottles or drinks, why did they not happen?

I suppose a child missing a lunch time meal could occasionally happen in a busy environment- if the adults are too busy for lunch themselves and the child doesn’t demand it/ is too busy playing/isn’t hungry. Providing it only happens occasionally and the child ate a full breakfast and dinner, I wouldn’t say it’s especially neglectful.

However no fluids at all between breakfast and dinner is absolutely neglectful! 😢 - you wouldn’t even leave an animal that long without access to water. Surely the adults must have had a drink themselves in that time period? It really needs to be automatic that the child gets offered milk or water every 2-3 hours, especially if he/she isn’t able to easily ask for it themselves yet.

If this wasn’t a one off for some exceptional reason (primary carers sudden illness?), then you really need to report it

Baby was fed
Baby was changed
Baby was presumably looked after/played with

The only 'basic need' that hasn't been met is apparently a drink wasn't given between the one at breakfast and the one at tea time.

It doesn't sound like mum has returned to find a soiled, neglected and dangerously dehydrated baby but has discovered when presumably asking what baby has eaten/drunk during the day (a normal question to ask) that they didn't have much for dinner and none of the adults can remember giving a drink during the day.

Like I said. A bit shit but no harm actually done.

Right, so the baby was offered food but he only ate some scrambled egg. That's not the same as saying he was "only given half an egg". The way you are telling this is very misleading. Did he refuse drinks too?

I don’t understand how the child wasn’t screaming its head off!

OP, refusing to eat more than half a scrambled egg for lunch is very different than only being offered such a tiny lunch.

You haven’t answered whether baby was given a drink with lunch? Presumably mum gave a drink with breakfast, and the normal thing would be to offer a drink with lunch too.

If so, then I don’t think you can call this neglect or a baby going “all day without food”. Fact is, they’ve eaten breakfast, eaten half what they were given for lunch, and had drinks with each meal (if so) before dinner at 5pm. Frankly sounds fairly normal. At worst, a bit crap for the lack of snacks and extra milk, but that’s all.

Surprising the amount of people who gleefully jumped to “neglect”.

Also - if she is a breastfeeding mother, it’s VERY common for baby to refuse drinks from all other sources until mum returns, then do a mega-breastfeed all evening and half the night to make up for it. Many working mums can attest to that!

Why are you being so coy about the details if you want answers?

Baby doesn't like egg much and they didn't offer or give him all his usual lunch things. And no drink offered.

Neglect. I know you say you don’t have any your concerns about the baby but can you keep a very close eye? Will this person be looking after the child again? How did they explain what they did? Who is responsible for the baby and what’s there perception of the situation?
I feel like the baby would have been upset and was ignored - no fluid is really concerning me.

But it wasnt 40 calories all day the baby had breakfast and dinner. And id bet had a cup/bottle of milk on waking, and one before bed.
Contrary to what some posters here are suggesting no a 13mth old shouldnt still be having loads of bottles of milk through the day, these should mostly have been replaced now by the meals they are having. The lunch is small but is it they were offered more, didnt eat it (perhaps teethy?) and the adults around didnt push it?

So baby could have eaten the whole egg, it was offered? If they were starving they'd have eaten it....

It’s fine to need reassurance. OP has said she’s not the mum, there’s no need for the ‘you know the answer’ dismissiveness.

But why? We need context. Did they not know? Did they not care? Is this the first time they've looked after this baby? Or any baby. You're drip-feeding little bits at a time which isn't helping people to answer properly.

how do you know they didn't give the child a drink?

You may well be surprised but I think you'll find your view would be in the minority here. No way should a 13 month old be deprived of milk or water from 7.30am to 5pm! Would you be happy to go that long with nothing to drink? Thought not.

Are you related to the baby OP?

Who are the parents in relation to you? Friends, family?

If you’re concerned for the babies welfare please raise a safeguarding concern.

Some babies can take a large amount of breast milk in a shorter space of time. Depends on mums let down ect. A baby who has had breakfast, half an egg and some breast milk is not comparable with one who has had no milk or water all day. Off course it is completely neglectful.

At that age, my breastfed little one would also rather not drink if left with other people. She would also have spent a at least 2 hours napping (ready to stay up all night breastfeeding!).

If baby was having long naps, this means there is less time for feeding?

Was it the first time baby was being left with grandparents or something? The problem is that babies don’t follow the schedules either. Especially with new people and/or new places.

So what are you doing about it? Posting on Mumsnet just to sound off or will you be taking action?

"Bemused" isn't good enough.

Ok so for all the people who say it's not that bad. Would you have these people round to babysit your child? Or feel ok leaving your child with them if it's the other parent