Is 6-8 months too soon to get engaged if you're mid 30s?

[Wooooah]

Or at least saying you want to be engaged soon?
If i were in my 20s I would definitely wait longer, no children on either side but both want children.
Don't want to fall into the pattern I did with my ex of living together for years with no commitment as he was never ready.

Too soon for me. I'd want a minimum of a year before moving in together and a minimum of a year living together before getting engaged. I'd imagine it would be no less than 3 yrs from meeting to married for me to feel I knew someone well enough.

In mine and DHs case, we got engaged after 3.5 years and married after another 18m, but I was waiting for an operation which delayed the wedding. We were also in our 20s. We've been together very happily for coming up 30 years. We definitely went into it with our eyes open and knew we were compatible long term before we got married.

By your mid-30s you should be mature enough to have some very frank conversations about your wants and needs. As long as you are both able to be blunt and not coy about what your relationship and life goals, it doesn’t seem crazy to me.

engaged and move in at 6-8 months. A year to plan a wedding. You can call it off at any point in there. Don’t ttc or buy property until you are actually married.

Honestly, it depends on the couple - you want to think that its only couples who were on the same wavelength, had proved they could argue and make up respectfully, were open and honest with each other, able to talk about anything, able to talk about what to do if things go wrong etc, who would decide to legally join themselves together....but there's lots of people who just go 'well we've met and we're in love and we want to get married' and don't seem to understand that saying 'I want to get married, how about you' and making up after a fight over what crisps to get in Tesco isnt actually an in depth interrogation of whether the other person is right for you.
However, I'm currently in a relationship where the only reason we aren't getting married is because we are worried other people will think it's too soon, and we don't want people to be concerned about us, and we think we fall into the first category (have known each other for years as friends) so probably everyone does! We are acutely aware of the financial side of things though, whereas I'm gobsmacked how many people don't educate themselves on what happens in case of divorce before they get married - its a legal contract!

I met my husband Jan 2010, our wedding day was October 2011.

I was 24.

Each to their own.

Not to me.
I was engaged after 4 months and married after another 6 months and I was 18!
(24 years later still happily married if your interested and no I wasn’t pregnant)

People waste so much time when they should be getting on and having babies

Given the number of single parents, I'd say the complete opposite is true.

We were late 20s and late 30s, engaged after 8 months, married after 16 months. 2 babies and 10 years later we’re still going strong! If it’s right, it’s right!

How often are you spending time together?Do you both want children? I genuinely think that when people are in their 30s they have a good measure of what they are looking for.
Statistically the longer people wait to start a family ,the more obstacles they potentially encounter.

Depends how desperate you are.

I married my dh six months after meeting him ,we have been together 20 years now.

I've known a few people who have (successfully so far) got married after around a year when one or both is late 30s/early 40s. And I think it makes sense. It's not like a couple who met at uni and have to go through living independently and settling into careers together - you know who you are more and circumstances are less likely to change you significantly. And if you feel you want kids and want to be married first, then there isn't that need to wait around and you're generally (even if you don't feel it) more experienced and able to judge character.

I think it depends on the circumstances, mainly how you’ve met. 6 months after living at the same uni halls is not the same as 6 months of dating on weekends after meeting online. The former is ok but the latter is too fast.

My husband proposed after 15 months, I just turned 35 when he proposed. Things happen sooner in 30s, however I do think it sensible to wait at least a year. 6 months I think can still be in the dream like phase when not seeing things clearly. But I know there are plenty of success stories. Tbh I think waiting ages is just as alarming.

It would be too fast for me to be officially engaged, but fine to be thinking about it. After 8 months you might not even have had both birthdays and Christmas together! What if he doesn’t like pigs in blankets or something crazy like that!? 😂

I think a lot depends on what kind of people you are. Are you both impulsive? Have you each been in several different relationships? How well does your partner get on with past girlfriends? What's the worst red flag you can think of? And finances, are you both pretty equal?

That's unnecessary.

I've been in long relationships that haven't worked out. With my husband I knew straight away he was the man I was going to marry. We lived together almost instantly and were married at 2 years. We've now been together a decade and are very happy.

I don't think there is any magic formula with regards to timings, just whether you've met the right person or not.

My husband and I got engaged a year after we met, moved in together 18 months after we met and married 2.5 years after we met. We were both early 30s when we met. I personally think 6 months after meeting to become engaged is too soon.

It’s entirely up to the two people involved.. not strangers on the internet 🤷‍♀️

She’s not asking permission, i think you’ve missed the point of a discussion forum a bit

It entirely depends on you and your relationship.

I've been married twice, first time together for 4 years before getting engaged, married a year later. Split 4 years later. Total fucking disaster.

Met current Mr Americano in my mid 30s, got engaged/pregnant after 4 months but still happily married nearly 13 years on.

It's not for everyone, God knows it shouldn't have worked but it felt right for us.

I've always wondered about this 'I just knew' feeling. What does it feel like? Can it be explained?

You've not even scratched the surface of knowing someone after 6 months so for me, no way. Not saying leave it years but live together, challenge each other, test out different stressful situations before deciding. I was going out with someone for a year and he was the one driving the future chat, one day this guy I don't recognise just ups and leaves because he couldn't cope with my situation at the time. Blindsided. Didn't know him at all

Six months seems a tad early as usually all is rosy and everyone is still on best behaviour at that point.

It's generally code for I need to get "married/pregnant/believe I'm loved up" immediately because the time has come.

Personally I think that it is too soon and would assume that people getting engaged that quickly in their mid 30s were just doing it to move through the steps - engaged, married, kids - rather than for genuine head over heels in love reasons.

10 years younger or older I'd still think it was too soon but I'd think that it was for more genuine reasons.