Am I being overdramatic?

[Hattythehamster]

My husband picked up my son (3) from pre school and was asked to sign an accident form as him and another boy got into an argument over a toy and my son got scratched on his back. They described them as ‘a few little scratches’ and made it sound like it wasn’t a big deal. My husband didn’t check his back at the time and signed the form and came home. When he told me I checked my sons back and I was shocked. To me these are not a few little scratches. I’m really angry and not sure what to do, feel like I need to bring it up with the nursery, but unsure what they can even do. Just want to sense check that I’m not being over dramatic?

Not at all! Its horrific what nurseries tolerate as "small scratches". I would be furious at DH and nursery and demanding this other boy leaves! This is not OK! My DD was pushed like this - not quite this bad tho - when she was 3 and several years later still talks and even dreams about it. Good luck and so sorry xxx

Sadly that is likely to scar/mark. Please escalate this via the manager and state that you are absolutely disgusted with the initial playing down of the matter. It needs to be dealt with before the little brute does it to someone’s face.

@Hattythehamster Those are really vicious long nailed gouges.

The child who has done this has serious aggression issues. Goodness knows what their home life is like.

Anyone would be furious seeing injuries like that.

The violent child needs its nails trimming and very close supervision.

That's clearly a child with ''issues''. He's not suitable to be mixing with well behaved children.

The school should send out an 'information bulletin' saying everyone must keep fingers and toe nails short. I hope the child is disciplined.
Put some antiseptic cream on the wounds, and maybe he should be topless at home while it heals. Obviously if it looks infected then get emergency GP appointment.

OMG - a few little scratches. From what - a flipping tiger?

Id be requesting a meeting to ensure this doesn’t happen again. Your poor son - that’s bound to have been sore.

No wonder GP appointments are so hard to get, if they are filled up with people like you. Why on Earth do you think a GP is needed? What do you think a GP can do about scratches, however nasty they are?

You did the right thing. (Savlon is an antiseptic.)

My opinion you must delve into this at the nursery. x

Those injuries are quite savage in my book. I'd be taking it much further have received a full report from the nursery.

It could easily get infected especially if the feral hasn’t washed his hands in a while. 🙄 My son got bit at nursery and gp sent him straight to A&E. No need to be so condescending.

Did they call you when it happened? In my dad's nursery the police would be to inform you of any issues like this via call, as well as am accident report, so you have the details there and then and can ask questions/pick them up if appropriate (your little one must have been so sad....)

Looking at the angle of those marks, it looks like the child has had several "goes" of digging his nails in to your son's shoulder. Was this through his clothing too which suggests he must have used some force not just to get his nails through clothing and skin but to keep your kid pinned in place while he did it. The little shit has punctured his skin not just scraped the surface. In your shoes, I'd be livid especially given they have minimised what happened.

To file a complaint against the nursery a GP would have to be consulted to get everything written down. Even if OP decides not to it's good to have proof if anything happens again. A GP can also give advice how to treat the injuries if they are infected.

At best, there are real safe guarding and overall supervision concerns at the nursery.

That’s terrible op. I have a lot of experience working in Nurseries. We would of contacted you by phone and then sent photos over of the accident. We would write it up in the accident book. We would show the marks again, when you pick up. Explain again what happened. You would have a copy of the accident form and we would keep a copy of the accident form. That should be standard practice at all childcare places.

I think you should say about them classing it as minor so your husband didnt check, it clearly isn't and you would like the forms redone

sorry but what a vicious little git, they are not accidental scratches, there is rage in there!!

Thanks for all your replies. I went to the nursery this morning and the manager came out and said she had just seen them email and she was horrified. She apologised profusely and said she had left early yesterday and had not been told about it. She is going to do a full investigation and come back to us. I’m glad the manager is taking it so seriously, still got my concerns about my son being around the boy today but from what she has said I think she will keep him separated from my son for a while.

Think it’s worth mentioning that when this boy has been violent before and we came into nursery to discuss, they said that it is highly likely he has some additional needs but because he was 2 they couldn’t diagnose him/put a plan in place. Assuming that will still be the case now and although not the little boys fault, think the question needs to be asked about the suitability of the setting for him when it comes to the safety of the other children there.

No. A GP would not have to be consulted for a complaint in order to "get everything written down" and OP does not need "proof". The nursery already know all about it and the OP has the photos. There is no suggestion by the OP or in the photos that there is any infection. No-one should be using up a GP's time to find out what they should do "in case" something unlikely happens in the future!

A bite is not the same as scratches. The OP has already sensibly applied antiseptic to the scratches. And your description of the child who scratched him as "the feral" when you know nothing about that child or the circumstances is very unpleasant.

I hope she means it and it’s not just a few words to mollify you.

Do you know which staff member told DH it was just a few little scratches? She is complicit in trying to hide this.

They can't and shouldn't be talking to you about the other boy. Focus on your DS when you talk to them. How they're going to keep him safe is the main concern and that's what I'd be asking them. The best solution for your DS is for someone to shadow the other child, unfortunately they may not have the resources for this. They will know what options they have so asking them how they're going to keep him safe can be a good starting point. If they make excuses or talk about SN, bring it back to how they're going to protect your DS. It looks like finger nails dug in to me, very deliberate though it's possible it's some sort of sensory seeking behaviour. The why doesn't matter though, they need to keep your son safe and that should never happen again. I hope they tackle this properly and don't fob you off, it's not good enough this happened and they should be taking it very seriously.

I'd be fucking furious. I hope they do handle it properly, OP. Your poor boy.

Complicit in trying to hide it?

the person who did the handover may not have seen , been involved or hears about the incident, they may just be on the door, welcoming parents in and getting parents to sign medication forms, accident forms and incident forms and doing the handover.

in the case of my early years centre the person on the door just reads out the accident form to the parent, they may not have Been involved in the incident.

No only is it awful you weren’t informed and the deep scratches weren’t cleaned promptly. It’s completely unacceptable for the nursery to be discussing the other child. They are not placed ti diagnose and discuss another 2/3 year old.
I feel sorry for both of the children.