Am I being overdramatic?

[Hattythehamster]

My husband picked up my son (3) from pre school and was asked to sign an accident form as him and another boy got into an argument over a toy and my son got scratched on his back. They described them as ‘a few little scratches’ and made it sound like it wasn’t a big deal. My husband didn’t check his back at the time and signed the form and came home. When he told me I checked my sons back and I was shocked. To me these are not a few little scratches. I’m really angry and not sure what to do, feel like I need to bring it up with the nursery, but unsure what they can even do. Just want to sense check that I’m not being over dramatic?

That's absolutely shocking OP.

My boy has just turned 3 and I cannot imagine seeing such injuries on him. I'd cry.

Be strong. I would be thinking of escalating this to external parties.

Agreed!

This is awful, awful behaviour from the school: it seems very sneaky, making you sign a form to cover their backs, while minimizing your child's wounds. I'm sorry for your little one 🙏 You are definitely not overdramatic!

You are definitely not being overdramatic- I actually gasped when I saw the photo. Your poor son. And poor you! I'd be devastated to see my child hurt like that.

All these pages of comments and not one asking if your son kicked that kid’s ass in return, @Hattythehamster.
I hope he did, and I hope your little boy is okay.
Those deep scratches look angry.
I hope you will let us know what the nursery says tomorrow.
I hope it’s “reasons” and not “excuses.”
I bet they’re shakin’ in their boots right now because they know they’re gonna hear from you.
Good.

My son got bit at nursery and the gp sent us straight to A&E.
OP this is disgraceful! They should have rang when it happened to inform you. Also why weren’t they supervising and why didn’t they intervene straight away? He’s clearly scratched your poor ds more than once judging by the photo. 😔

That's awful, your poor son, I gasped when I saw that photo. I hope the nursery respond quickly. I doubt I'd be able to trust them again with my child's care after this though.

Poor little bairn.
Well done you for taking it seriously, seems like you're the only one on the scene.

I’d be furious as well. I actually found that my nursery was shit hot at dealing with aggression and wouldn’t have minimised.

When my eldest was in reception she accidentally scratched another child while playing. They phoned me and the girl’s mum and probably took it more seriously than it needed to as they were both happy with each other/no malice etc. Those marks are something I’d be quite concerned about. You are not overacting at all to have an additional meeting and ask what on earth happened and what steps they are taking to ensure similar doesn’t happen again.

Oh wow, I’d be fucking raging! Dettol and smother them in sudocrem op. Then go in to the nursery in the morning and demand the vicious little shit is removed.

That's not a few scratches. Your poor little ds has been virtually attacked, sustaining injuries that look like they were inflicted by an animal. How did a child being supervised manage to launch an attack like that on another child? It looks as if the attacker has dug their nails in more than once. The cuts look very sore and deep. Sorry, but I would be so upset and so angry if this was my ds. I'd be down at that school first thing demanding to see both the staff involved and the HT and how they will prevent it from happening again and the sanctions that the aggressive child is receiving.

Wow...how long after was that photo taken, wondering what they were like straightaway! :(

Wow, I had a sharp intake of breath at that photo and it's not even my child.
I'd be seriously considering moving him, most nurseries over react in my experience, that is some serious minimising there.

@Hattythehamster I’m so sorry this happened to your wee lad. I hope he’s okay now and so are you x

My DS would have attacked children with similar scratches if he’d have been distressed (obviously his nails were always kept very short) but my DS is ND. Although as his mum it killed me to say it I did say to the staff and to other parents who were friendly with us to discourage going into his “space” because children don’t understand why they’re being attacked by a very distressed child, especially if ND is at play. I know parents want to teach their children to defend themselves and i understand that but truly if a child had hurt my son in retaliation I’d fear that child may have been more seriously injured. I’m not saying the culprit is ND but just if there is a chance, staying away is much safer than hitting back like some PP have suggested.
I say the same to my DC now he’s around other ND kids if there has been an altercation of sorts, go find a quiet place, leave your pal alone until they’re calm.
What a shitty thing for your childcare to have done. I’d be going apeshit.

if they skin is broken I’d really escalate that with nursery.

Your poor son, that's awful.
Im surprised the nursery didnt show you and your husband didnt check there and then.
Can you go in tomorrow and ask for a meeting to see what exactly happened?

I’d also ask for the vicious little’s things name so you can ask he be kept away from your child.

I’d also look to move nurseries.

Don’t want to compound the message that’s got out loud and clear OP, but I actually gasped when I saw the photo. I’m glad you’ve sent it to the nursery. I would be asking to have the boy removed from my DS’s class in your shoes.

I’d also be seriously considering sending the photo to the parent of the child that did this. He’s 3, he’s not in control of himself and is just a little thing, but his parents need to k ow what he’s done. I wouldn’t expect anything in reply other than “thanks for letting us know”, it’s not about retribution or punishment at that age. It’s about giving them the chance to see what their toddler is doing, banking it in case it’s required in the future, and ideally teaching their boy to stop doing this.

Those aren’t simple scratches. To have done such damage to the skin when your son was wearing clothes, they must have dug in really hard many times. Why was the attack not stopped by staff?

At the very least I think you could ask for a reminder to go out about the importance of keeping nails short. This would prevent this reoccurring as this sort of nail digging probably isn't a one off in the same way you get biters.

While it looks sore, I don't think a GP or 111 is necessary. With medical Dettol or an alcohol wipe from a first aid kit you can sort any nasties.

Keep an eye on them and put him in a higher neck top like a hoodie or fleece to keep them covered but open to the air for healing.

I think by tomorrow they will not look so angry.

Crikey that is bad and definitely not an over reaction at all. I would have expected the nursery staff to take me in to a private room and show me over something like that and not just fob me off with an accident form.

To the posters concerned about the A&E department being clogged up. A 3 year old child would be seen by paeds A&E, not adult A&E. To the lady waiting 24 hours with her Mother, a child been seen would not affect where you were in the queue to be seen. Everyone is triaged and seen in the order of the nature/seriousness of the presenting condition.

Yes that needs an explanation. Not just how it happened, but also why they apparently couldn't be arsed to clean the scratches properly. These large pink auras suggest they let them fester.

Glad your DS isn't taking it too hard. But yes nursery has questions to answer.

" a few little scratches"? that looks like approx 8 gouge marks made by nails being dug into your poor boy's skin and through clothing as well I guess. As others have already said, speak to the nursery staff and show them that photo.

Wow that's terrible! I'd be speaking to the parents too and showing them the pictures. If he is capable of doing this at 3 years old with such anger then what will he be like when he is older, the parents need to address this with him.

Nursery should have shown your dh the state of your poor child, if nothing else, to keep themselves in the right that those didn't happen later at home!

How on earth were they made through clothing?

Those nails were really dug in.

Nursery better have a VERY good explanation. They weren't done in a couple of seconds.