Are all men like this???

[Gramaphone]

Ok bit of a rant!

My husband has this really annoying habit of giving orders…..

eg, he is standing in kitchen, and there is leftovers from lunch. He says they need to go in fridge. Why tell ME?? Just DIY!

eg2. Wood burner. Logs on, burning nicely. “The vents need shutting”
He is sat equidistant from me….DIY!

eg3. “I ordered xx, have you checked the postbox recently?” No. Go look in it!!

argh! Also we are going on holiday on Friday. I got the cases out, mine is packed. He hasn’t even started…..

lol x
happy new year 🥳

Not all like that. Mine just leaves everything out for someone else to deal with. Doesn't bark orders, just is gone before you realise, and if asked to do something, ever - watch out. So I actually sympathise with your DH. I have a tendency to just say out loud what needs doing, it doesn't mean it's an order since I know I'll be doing it myself anyway.

Numbers 1 & 2. 'yes, they do' & walk off or continue doing whatever you were doing.

Number 3. 'No I haven't' & walk off or continue doing whatever you were doing.

No, mine does not have a clue what needs to be done but is very good at executing orders. I have accepted that if I instruct him as a five year old, he is very helpful. We are both managers at work, but it’s like at home he has zero agency.

Yes, all men are exactly the same. There's a factory churning them out somewhere

I'd just reply, 'oh yes, thanks for doing that darling' and wander off...

No, but DH says I'm like that.
But most people surely won't pack a week in advance?

No my DH doesn't do that ever. I'd be asking him whats stopping him checking or doing it, that would drive me mental.

Nope. I’m the one who sits and gives orders in our house.

I FUCKING KNEW IT!!!

I wouldn't consider any of these orders, though? You could possibly interpret them as hints, but to me an order would be specifically telling you to do something, not generally announcing something needed to be done. e.g. "Put the food in the fridge/Close the vents/go and check the letterbox."

If someone said the comments to me I would just agree but not assume he wanted me to do it, it could just be speaking out loud, and if it was a hint I'd just ignore it if it! "The leftovers need to go in the fridge" "Yes they do." "The vents need to be shut" "Yep." "Have you looked in the letterbox?" "No."

Honestly, I role my eyes so hard that these constant 'Are all men like this?' threads, I'm surprised I haven't detached a retina.

My favourite line in my (all male) house is "sometimes in order to find things you have to move other things"

Same here.

Also this is a question about whether you had noticed something in the postbox, not an order to do it "“I ordered xx, have you checked the postbox recently?”"

And actually the others are either passive 'orders' or he's voicing out loud what needs doing - does he explicitly ask/tell you to do it? Because I sometimes say 'oh we need to get milk' and it doesn't mean I am ordering anyone to do it. But depends on context.

@Porcelainpig that really made me laugh!

Does he expect you to do it? I mean does he get annoyed if you don't obey?

My husband says this sort of thing occasionally- I just laugh at him and say "does it now?" and he does it.

My wife does this, it was driving me crazy but then i realised she isn't asking me to do it she is just saying it out loud as an instruction/reminder to herself.

I have a constant narrative in my head of what's happening and what i need to do etc but she doesn't have this, she doesn't have an internal voice.

No idea if it's the same for your husband though.

Mine says “Do you want to…?” to mean “Please do…”

E.g. it would be “Do you want to put the leftovers in the fridge?” and “Do you want to close the vent?”

🤬

No.🤔
In fact my OH is the driving force and will do most things without even asking, he also anticipates what may need to be done.
I am much more laid back and find that when I think about doing a task, he has already done it.😆

Perhaps because he lived on his own for a couple of years before we met?
Whatever, have been together over 30yrs and it seems to work.👍

"So get up and go do it. You don't need to ask for my permission."

Mine does a lot of "we need to do this" which means he expects me to do it.
I just say...go ahead...

And sometimes I flip out and say I'm not at work, he's not my manager, wind your neck in!

No, all men are not like this.
Plus, today is Monday - you are not going away until Friday, so why is your case already packed? All you will have is creased clothes!
Optimum time to pack would be Thursday afternoon/evening (and I say this as a female).

My husband occasionally does this! My response is usually 'and, you're telling me because?' Or I say 'well, you are capable of doing X, as well as me'! I call my husband out.

No, he knows it would get him nowhere.

I suggest a steely stare, a long silence and then 'gosh, really!'

😊

Why on earth would you be packed on Monday? You don’t leave for days!

I wonder what Mumsnet would do if a thread had the same title with the word black added in?