DH drinking in sole charge of DD 17 months

[AmIwrong1234]

I went out for drinks tonight, not something I do often. Had quite a few but felt safe in knowledge that my child was being cared for with DH. I knew DH was having a few people round for company when DD was asleep. DH rarely drinks.

I’ve come home to him passed out on the sofa and not very coherent when I spoke with him and found 8 empty beer bottles. I know only one other person was drinking so assuming four beers each.

DH is a lightweight and a heavy sleeper without the beer. He’d promised me he’d be up overnight to look after DD so I could have a night off. DD breastfeeds still, usually just a morning and night feed. But can’t want and try and get very pissed off if she doesn’t get it from me during the night, to eliminate this he’d promised to get up with her as she settles fine either him overnight without the feed.

AIBU to be pissed off he’s slightly drunk and unlikely to waken while in sole charge of DD and think it’s a bit dangerous. Also on another note be pissed off he’s unlikely to get up when DD inevitably wakens soon and I’ll have to settle her without feeding her when he was meant to! (I’ve had equivalent of a bottle of wine so can’t feed and she’ll not settle either me without a feed just yet in middle of night).

For us it is a leap. He actively encourages me to go out. I haven’t had many nights out since my little one was born (my own choice) but he is very happy when I do. I do sometimes see friends for dinner/cinema (as does he). This has never happened before.

He does not drink often but he is incredibly social. His friend brought beer and I can see how it happened. I’m not against him drinking, just would’ve preferred he didn’t last night for reasons I already mentioned

He’s actively helping me get some rest tonight and next weekend he’s going to take DD out for a bit so I can get a break as he’s recognised I do need one. We’ve had a bit of a rough period of illnesses/bad nights which has hit me harder and he can see that.

People can just make mistakes without there being a larger picture, especially when there’s no red flags before. I was being a bit overkill with this thread last night because we just had five minute conversation this morning which resulted in us sorting it out.

Good update OP. Glad you’re feeling better about it all x

Fair enough OP, but I was responding to your first post.

There are plenty of wonderful men out there and even these make mistakes, the fact that it is a one off and he realises why you are cross does indicate that it was a mistake rather than a red flag.

Wow, I must be an awful parent then as me and my DH have both had a few drinks at the same time on multiple occasions - we'll all the time really. We'd share a bottle of wine at home, go for a night out together (then relieve the babysitter), go to family/friends houses with the kids and both have a drink.

We would be over the drink drive limit but able to safely care for a child. Those 2 things are different.

So did we. S on we are in the "Shit Parents Club" too. As are most people I know.

That's not the issue though is it.