To beg for tips with getting my autistic son to sleep?!

[CoughyGoLightly]

Hoping for some tips and ideas of what to try next as my DS (6) is getting worse with not being able to wind down to sleep. He's never been a great sleeper (since birth 😴) but it's been manageable until recently.

In the last few months he's been getting really wired before bedtime and struggling to focus, stay in bed, and wind his brain down. He articulates himself his brain doesn't let him sleep. The tiredness is causing issues at school but the relentless bedtime routine is removing any down time we have as parents (his 3 y/o little brother still wakes in the night so we're on our knees tbh)

Has anyone tried anything with their autistic children they can recommend please? I've seen online things like massage recommended, alongside special sleep aids and other stuff. I don't mind investing the time or money in something so long as it has a chance of working and not being a marketing gimmick

Thanks in advance for any suggestions!

My DDs 20 and is the same. They were a real gamechanger for us at the time.
Now though, it is weird to suddenly hear one still playing in the middle of the night where she's fallen asleep and not switched them off!

I would ask for a referal to a paediatrician and get melatonin. It's absolutely abundantly clear that my son does not produce enough naturally. If you can afford a private paediatrician and get it that way. Or via NHS. The GP can't gate keep, check your rights.

My daughter also goes to sleep watching Netflix on her tablet. She uses familiar programmes to regulate and that is okay, sometimes you have to throw away the parenting “rules” that work better for neurotypical children, because your child isn’t neurotypical and you all need some sleep 😊

If only it were that easy!!

I never solved this when he was younger. It just got gradually better as he got older. Thank god!! I feel for you.

GP’s aren’t allowed to prescribe it initially, has to be done by a consultant

@Newsenmum its debatable tbh. It mainly helped with going to sleep. By the time we discovered melatonin the oldest seemed to have mostly aged out of the early waking. The youngest improved, I think, but mainly because she was going to sleep in the first place more easily and that seemed to help her to get into the way of it. Sadly she still wakes at stupid o' clock from time to time and we just deal with it. (She does have ADHD though.)

I think there are more slow release forms which are supposed to help with waking- our oldest is on these- but for her, they don't help. We are still struggling to get proper assistance from CAHMS there...

agree!
DS2 (now 17)has ADHD and has always been a terrible sleeper. We tried massage, foot rubs, lavender, well you name it we tried it.
He was prescribed circadin (melatonin) and it was like a miracle. The first night he took it he was asleep by 8pm and slept for 10 hours. They only let us have it for 6 months though.
At 17 his sleep pattern is as bad as it’s ever been. He’s often awake for 30+ hours, then crashes. He’s on vampire hours at the moment, awake all night and asleep most of the day. This has resulted in him being removed from his college course.

That post made me giggle when I read it. I did think “Tell me your child’s not autistic, without telling me your child is not autistic” 😂

Weighted blanket and magnesium butter on the soles of the feet from sweet bee organics has helped us. Do you do any good night rituals where you say goodnight to the toys, goodnight stuffed animals etc, i found it really helps, we project planets and stars on the ceiling and say goodnight to them

Try a song on repeat. Works for me and my autistic son. Has to be a relaxing song, nothing energetic, preferably repetitive and something you like so it doesn't drive you barmy.

Male singer is better or someone with a very low voice. I use either I can't make you love me by George Michael or We will by Gilbert O'Sullivan. But anything along that line could work.

We have to seriously limit screens, none Monday-Thursday. Yoto helps. Very regularly routine not complicated but the same each night. 1/2 hour warning, pjs, then ten more minutes play if the pjs happen without fuss, hugs and bed.

he slept through for the first time ever at 6.5 years, in a blackout pop up play tent on the floor. He asked to sleep in there for 2 weeks running (summer holidays) and by the end of the 2 weeks we had bought a snuggy pod blackout bed tent. It was magic and that year it even came on holiday with us (uk by car!) and that made my holiday not being up to 3am with him bouncing off walls. He still at 8 wakes up some nights and struggles to go to sleep some nights. This is usually when his routine is out of whack like in the holidays. But he sleeps well and the disturbed nights are few rather than every night.

Exercise, lots of it

Sun Light first thing

melatonin

audible

If you can afford it you could pay about £250 to see a child psychiatrist who can prescribe it for you. Some GPs will then take over the prescription, some won't. melatonin is pretty standard meds for the neurodiverse. You can buy them over the counter if you are going or have a stop over in most asian countries / america etc but if you want over the counter ones in the Uk try a child psychiatrist.

Try Mrs honeybee on YouTube - they're sleep/meditation stories but about current stuff like mario, Pokémon and toy story. We've used them for years and really calm a child down (no experience with autism I'm afraid).

We just play on our phone as we still sit with ours as they feel safer with us there.

I’m guessing you’ve probably tried all this but things we’ve tried

• weighted blanket (they like it but hasn’t helped)
• lot of different textured blankets
• getting outside in day light as early as possible
• 3 hours of exercise a day
• limited screen time 30 mins a day and not in the 3 hours before bed
• orange lights bulbs (haven’t tried myself)
• magnesium supplement (mighty kids)
• guided sleep mediatation - we use yoto but check they like the voice of the actor first
• warm bath before bed
• try supper v no supper
• the right type of cuddly toy
• spraying cuddly toys with my perfume/given top to cuddle
• teaching maladjusted daydreaming
• lots of reading before bedtime
• teaching breathing techniques eg rainbow breathing, bakery breathing
• pizza massage

I’m in a country that allows melatonin. It was recommended by Dd’s doctor.

the biggest thing though is to stop making bedtime about sleep. It fuels the anxiety and makes it harder to fall asleep. Bedtime means going to bed and having quiet time. Get your child a kindle paperwhite and let him read as long as he wants. My parents did the same with me sans the technology. We repeated it with dd. I like the kindle because the child doesn’t have to be awake enough to turn off the light, they just drop off to sleep while reading and it turns itself off.

occasionally dd stayed up late reading. That wasn’t the worst thing in the world. In exchange, most nights the freedom to not have to fall asleep allowed her to fall asleep more easily.

And

• warmie teddies
• White/pink/brown noises

I went on a sleep course run by early help, after 8 years with a child who doesn’t sleep they didn’t tell me anything I didn’t already know but they said to make only one change at a time and keep with it for 3 weeks before rejecting it.

In most areas you can self refer to the school nurse team for support with sleep, eating, constipation etc. if you google school nurse hub and your county you may find the info.

Great to be outside for two hours daily that is helpful for "some" children

Home cooked food? Food they will EAT fed is best always

Screen time is not the devil my autistic child will sleep watching a lady crunch sweeties a Korean guy cutting up a watermelon with a sword or an odd man on YouTube testing gadgets

It works

You make it a rule. Regimented, set in stone. "Bed time is 8 pm". You will be amazed when you announce "bed time". It worked for my autistic son.

Good luck.

We give DS1 liquid magnesium and a vitamin d spray (which helps to absorb it). He’s definitely been calmer on it.
It was recommended by another parent who said if had made the most doffenrce to her autistic child,
I’m now taking it and my brother and I get to sleep much easier too.

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/magnesium-and-adhd#benefits

edited as seen the article is for adhd but they are comorbidities of each other so might help.

We had it prescribed from our paediatrician before diagnosis (now diagnosed). Go back to the GP, explain how desperate you are and ask for an urgent paeds referral.

I went against all advice and it was frowned upon 18 years ago never mind now but I used the combination of melatonin, weighted blanket and the TV. I can imagine the responses here but without the TV on he absolutely would not stay in the bed at all. I soon learned that going against the grain worked for DS. He sailed through university several years later so I'm not convinced the screen was so bad. I am very aware that it's a huge no no nowadays to use screens, but it worked for us at the time.