To beg for tips with getting my autistic son to sleep?!

[CoughyGoLightly]

Hoping for some tips and ideas of what to try next as my DS (6) is getting worse with not being able to wind down to sleep. He's never been a great sleeper (since birth 😴) but it's been manageable until recently.

In the last few months he's been getting really wired before bedtime and struggling to focus, stay in bed, and wind his brain down. He articulates himself his brain doesn't let him sleep. The tiredness is causing issues at school but the relentless bedtime routine is removing any down time we have as parents (his 3 y/o little brother still wakes in the night so we're on our knees tbh)

Has anyone tried anything with their autistic children they can recommend please? I've seen online things like massage recommended, alongside special sleep aids and other stuff. I don't mind investing the time or money in something so long as it has a chance of working and not being a marketing gimmick

Thanks in advance for any suggestions!

I’m sorry to hear this. It’s such a struggle I know.

What's the bedtime routine? When do you stop devices?

My GP did initial prescription. And no diagnosis required. It just depends on the GP.

Thank you yes he has a Yoto box but has recently decided he finds it harder to sleep instead of easier when listening 😒

My post has been hidden because it was recommending a website for melatonin. I've never seen them block it before as the website gets recommended on here loads.

Good opportunity for exercise during the day, familiar audio book and dark lights with breathing exercises can help. And for my DD opportunity to chat about what's worrying her earlier in the day as this is what's going round her brain stopping her sleeping.

Weighted blanket. Audiobook playing. Physical exercise every day and not too much screen time. Nightlight. My 13yo is prescribed Melatonin now too but I was buying it online while we waited. Started on 1mg.

We've tried different things tbh. Previously we had a "no tablets after 6pm" rule but it turned into a whole fixation for him all afternoon/evening and caused meltdowns so we now allow him to be on his tablet if he wants to until it's time to go upstairs. He has a visual timer and is very good at understanding when it runs out. We then have either a few picture books or a couple of chapters of a book and then cuddle whilst listening to a Yoto story for about half an hour before leaving him. Unfortunately he's now coming down repeatedly after being left and also waking in the night

I didn't mention a website, @Jigglypufff but one of my posts has been zapped. Just said it saved my sanity. Which it did, after years of sitting up until 2 in the morning getting kids to sleep, only to be woken again at 4...

Ah my son is 14 now this is what I was told at the time but that was ten years ago and things change.

How annoying! Could you message me instead please?

Melatonin's has been life changing for us - my ASD son has been on it for a year and it has had a huge impact on his emotional regulation and concentration/ focus. Alongside a good sleep routine, audible story and weighted blanket. The sleep clinic also recommended a red light in his room - I'm not sure it's impacted his sleep but he says it's 'nicer'

@MrsGhastlyCrumb honestly, I was starting to reach breaking point. We use just a 1mg. The difference has been wild.

Thanks not heard of this before will try it!

DH wrestles with DS before bed - gets some of his wiggles out. Or we do a Bluey Dance mode disco. Massage with kids magnesium cream. Warm drink and hot microwaved wheat bag. Books and quiet music in bed. I sit with him and wait for him to doze off. If he can't sleep it's ok to get up and read some more.

One game changer for us was a lycra compression sheet £20 from Amazon. Worth trying as cheaper than a weighted blanket. Went from multiple wake-ups to one or less a night. We were cosleeping until 6yo and now DS has gone a year sleeping on his own.

Melatonin is the only thing that works with our DS. We get it through the sleep clinic, had to do the usual sleep hygiene routines, but from there they prescribed it and he's been on it for 7 years now.

On the tablet, see if you can do night mode setting, at least an hour before his usual bedtime. Reduces blue light which can affect sleep.

Also, speaking as a mum of an autistic boy who was (and is) quite articulate, see if you can have a chat about what wakes him/keeps him up. But not before bed or at stressful times! Out on a walk or something. Turns out my DS sometimes got up because of FOMO, he was wondering what we were doing and felt a bit left out, once we explained how boring our lives were after his bedtime (cleaning up and watching a show he wouldn't find interesting) he was more likely to stay in his room. I also told him even if he wasn't sleeping, it was okay to stay in bed, that resting his eyes would help him feel better the next day even if it wasn't Proper Sleep.

Another vote for melatonin and weighted blankets. Also making sure you are screen free for at least an hour before bed. White noise and audio books made things worse for our DD. She needs total sensory deprivation.

My daughter has a private diagnosis of ADHD and we're prescribed melatonin from the consultant however the pharmacist recommended I get it from pipingrock as it's much cheaper and we've had no issues with that what so ever

@CoughyGoLightly
My autistic DS is now 9.

After trying to get him go sleep and stop being so wired at night my best tip is to stop fighting it and go with it!

I discovered DS doesn't actually need much sleep. He's up at 6.30am. So my rule is that he is in his room by 8.30am and QUIET! He can read, sketch, draw on his huge whiteboard, write stories or do maths puzzles in a book. He is usually asleep by 10.30pm so I not see it as 2 hours "learning time". If he manages to stay quiet and not demand attention every 10 mins then he gets a small treat the next day!

Did the melatonin keep them in bed longer than 4am? Our issue is very early starts.

Biovea melatonin gummies. Have a break occasionally as you need to do that for melatonin to stay effective.

I know you mean well but it isn't this simple for ND children. My 6 year old nephew could be active all day long and still be wide awake at 10pm.

He's also extremely fussy with food in terms of texture etc.

Sadly screentime actually calms him down when he's going crazy.

You're advice is good for NT children but it's a different ball game for ND.

I would also try melatonin.

Books - audio, comics - work well for DS. Just started reading the newspaper and cannot settle until he reads everything (small warning) but will not read novels.

Get it from pipingrock