To ask the worst things your parents have said to you?

[BradleyGreenToes]

I’ll start -
I’m a slut
I’m a failure without any friends
I’m irrelevant to the family because I don’t have children

My mother used to call me disgusting names all the time, "vindictive" "malicious" were 2 favourites. But when i was about 13 or 14, she said "you're not classically beautiful, you're not even pretty really, but you'll never have a problem getting men" I had no idea what she meant at the time, it always stuck with me and affected me. The following year, she threw me out the house and I never returned.

Goes without saying, I haven't had contact with her in many years and I've kept my children away from her.

From my mother when I didn’t invite her to something: ‘You’re so selfish, maybe I had you too late’ (she was 37) and she told my brother that I should think myself lucky because she ‘could have had me adopted’.

Men only want to fuck a slim body, Gepilli, so sort your weight out.

Thank you, that’s so kind but I still believe them.

I should've sat on you at birth.

I should've just aborted you.

You're a slag (for going on a date when i was 17)

Fuck off and get out (just because she was in a mood) I was 15

The list is endless.

Absolutely nothing. If I had to pick something it would have to be "tidy your bedroom"

Thats good to hear. Are you a confident person with good self-esteem?

Slut (woken up being hit by my mother because I came home late at 18!)
Slut and slapped round the face by my father,
I'm not surprised you haven't got any friends - when I was experiencing bullying at school - mother
Glad he's taken her off our hands (wedding speech). thanks dad

My Mum called me a slut multiple times. I was so upset about it and confused. She once came into my bedroom and started picking up clothes from my floor and cups on my bedside table saying 'I'm not your slave, you need to change your ways - you're a bloody slut!'.

I was about 16yrs and I lost it with her and started shouting back - how does me having a messy bedroom got anything to do with sleeping around?! I'm still a virgin! Why are you saying I'm a slag?'

She was confused, I was confused. This was in the 90s.

Turns out that 'slut' for sleeping around had a changed definition. Bit like gay used to mean happy and changed to homosexual. Slut used to mean slovenly/untidy and changed to describe a woman who slept around and she genuinely didnt know that.

She was apologetic and said 'obviously I don't think you're a slag or a slut if that's what it means - I mean your bedroom is a bloody mess and you're very untidy'.

There was no easy access to the Internet to fact check that, so I was still upset about it for years. But turns out she was telling the truth - for her generation it just meant a messy/untidy woman.

Really sad to hear all these anecdotes.
My mother does care but seems to struggle with parenthood generally. A few examples;

1. putting me on a diet aged 8 because she was worried I would ‘get bullied for being overweight’. I became anorexic briefly. I wasn’t particularly overweight.
2. telling me the reason for my siblings significant mental health problems was because ‘I demanded all the attention’. sibling was born when approx 3 and a half years after me so silly me wanting attention for those first few years! I then looked after them, had their back with bullies etc and cooked their tea when I was still primary age, so hardly a bad sister.
3. has rarely spent any birthdays/Xmas’s etc with my own DC. Has gone away every year bar one.
4. has told me to eff off on the phone when I was desperately asking for help and trying to explain DC’s issues. Can’t deal with any stress and takes it out on others.

It’s not all bad, very generous with money and does care but have to keep her arms length and humour her because I am too soft to confront an elderly woman with health issues.

No, I'm not gonna go back to this shit I got from my emotionally abusive parents 30 years ago.

❤️❤️❤️
Be strong for yourselves.

I wish you had died when you were born, said many times by my mum when growing up

I like this. I was set to drag some shit up and I’m not going to now.

Hugs to everyone who has shit parents.

@BradleyGreenToes I don't know if we're from the same era or not (I was a teen in the 90s) but there was some really weird misogyny in our household. Mums boyfriend was of the era who bought the Sun for page 3 and the type of idiot who would catcall women in the street. They would both call me a bitch or slut when angry, but also lecture me about not being popular with boys and that no man would want me because I was no fun. Looking back it was really strange.

I'm glad that I turned out nothing like either of them, something which I know they found insulting in itself. Hope you've managed to escape too, and if not yet, hope you can soon.

It really isn't. That's why it annoys me when people say, oh but you've only got one mum, as if they're all lovely!

NC for this one. "What you do want to be friends with that girl for? She's crippled and she's slow!" Said about a friend of mine with cerebral palsy and brain damage from a car accident when friend was 5.

For context, mom had a brother with Down Syndrome.

Bullshit they will.
No way 😊

Oh God, where to start.

I'm a whore, I'm a rotten pig, I should kill myself, doesn't matter if I die, I'm a fucking bitch, I'm the worst of all the children, all the assaults are my fault, I shouldn't be eating that (from a man who looked like Jabba the Hutt just after Christmas), and then the kicker...

"I try so hard to have a good relationship with you, why don't you fucking respect me?"

And that's just the stuff he said to me. I've left out the stuff he said to my mother.

Anyone who's subjecting their kids to this because they think he's a great dad (!) and they'll thank you for it later...they won't. Don't force kids to live with this.

Upon telling her months ago that my brother repeatedly sexually about me as a child her response was and I quote "if you blacken his name around town and he throws himself in the river, that's on you ".

This was my mum’s excuse too, only she never apologised and kept calling me a slut even once she knew what it meant because she liked how much it hurt and shamed me. She could be so loving (confusingly) but when I transgressed, her sole intention was to inflict the most intense level of pain possible. Then twenty minutes later she would offer me a cup of tea and chat to me in the brightest, cheeriest way possible as if we were all happy friends.

Being told repeatedly that, when I questioned my mother's strange or rude behaviour toward me that it was 'all in my head'. A friend at the time witnessed her behaviour and opened my eyes that she was being unreasonable and off with me.

This may seem like nothing that significant BUT what this led to has been a lifetime of me questioning whether what I hear people say v their actions is congruent. I've not been able to trust my own feelings on things. I've let ex partners tell me how I feel. I've known things haven't been right but because it is ingrained in me that things are 'all in my head' I couldn't trust myself.

Thankfully therapy helped. I finally addressed my mother about it. Her reply 'I can't remember saying that'. Twat.

The second worst was her steadfast refusal to tell me anything about my Dad who died when I was a baby.

Oh this is awful!

So sorry to hear that. I am lucky in that I have a good relationship with my dad and a great one with my mom so they have never said anything “nasty”.

My mom did spend years nagging me about getting married and having kids. But since I got old she has left me alone with that. And she did comment once on my weight and after I snapped at her she never has since.

I overheard my mum telling a friend one day that she knew she shouldn’t have favorites but she had one…my cousin.

My mum used to make me pack a shoe box and pretend to phone a children's home and say they were coming to collect me. I was no older than 4 when I remember this first happening. I'd sit and wait for ages then she'd say she'd give me one more chance. She was a social worker, dad was a vicar, I was an only child. We were never that close.

x (brother) is more intelligent than you - was hastily revised to he just reads more (I have same uni quals as him)