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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is rude and weird re a Christmas present

92 replies

bagpuss90 · 04/01/2025 13:20

I muddled up a friends present with another friends present . Genuine mistake and I apologised. Anyway I sorted it .One of the friends thought it was really funny. I took the other friend her “proper gift” last night and she was really shitty and weird. She said “don’t you ever do this to me again” WTF ?. Asked me if her gift actually ever existed before Christmas. Not even a thank you . AIBU to think this was rude and weird and a total over reaction ?

OP posts:
TwentyTwentyFive · 04/01/2025 13:22

Gosh what a weird reaction. I'm not sure if be keen to buy her one again next year.

Snorlaxo · 04/01/2025 13:22

Is it a gift that might cause offense or problems? For example an alcoholic receiving wine or someone with an eating disorder receiving chocolate

IggyAce · 04/01/2025 13:23

I’d say it was an over reaction, and I’d probably suggest skipping the gift giving next Christmas. You apologised for the error.

Onlyvisiting · 04/01/2025 13:23

That's so rude. Presents are a GIFT, not an obligation.
The only acceptable response IMO is a cheery, 'oh don't worry, I won't buy presents for you any more then' and move on.

Dearg · 04/01/2025 13:24

Were the gifts very different in value? Either way, you gave her a gift, unless it was an offensive gift, her only response should have been ‘ Thank you ‘

She sounds very rude

AllTangledUpInTinselAndTiaras · 04/01/2025 13:24

She'd never get another gift from me. What an entitled brat.

Jc2001 · 04/01/2025 13:25

bagpuss90 · 04/01/2025 13:20

I muddled up a friends present with another friends present . Genuine mistake and I apologised. Anyway I sorted it .One of the friends thought it was really funny. I took the other friend her “proper gift” last night and she was really shitty and weird. She said “don’t you ever do this to me again” WTF ?. Asked me if her gift actually ever existed before Christmas. Not even a thank you . AIBU to think this was rude and weird and a total over reaction ?

No more presents. Ever. I'd struggle to stay friends if it was me.

NWQM · 04/01/2025 13:25

Did she explain at all why she was so upset? I think you are saying that it isnt that you didn't give her a gift, just the wrong one. What was wrong about it though

IlooklikeNigella · 04/01/2025 13:25

We need to know what the gifts were!

My gifts must be very very unimaginative as if two people got them mixed up it probably wouldn't make much difference.

PeppyGreenFinch · 04/01/2025 13:28

Jc2001 · 04/01/2025 13:25

No more presents. Ever. I'd struggle to stay friends if it was me.

Show quote history

This.

Stop the presents!

What did she get you?

toomuchfaff · 04/01/2025 13:29

She said “don’t you ever do this to me again”

OK - no gifts ever for you again, oh you didn't mean that, ah that's what I interpreted, and that's where I'm staying.

No apologies in there - notice i didn't say " ah I'm sorry" - you're not sorry.

FirmLilacBeaker · 04/01/2025 13:29

How bloody rude. I would probably not bother buying for her again!

Original poster
bagpuss90 · 04/01/2025 13:31

Okay - they were both alcohol . One was Prosecco the other a half bottle of Vodka - similar value around a tenner . One drinks one the other drinks the other. No alcohol problems. Both had other little bits to open in their gift bags. I was with one when she opened hers and it was oh shit sorry - you were meant to get Prosecco

OP posts:
Marleigh0 · 04/01/2025 13:33

What a weird ungrateful rude response! She wouldn't be getting a gift again!

AllTangledUpInTinselAndTiaras · 04/01/2025 13:34

I honestly wouldn't ever buy anything for her again. What an incredibly rude response to a mistake.

Can't imagine she's actually a nice person, nor a good friend.

WhatNoRaisins · 04/01/2025 13:34

Are they a bit of a touchy person in general? Is there some backstory with them being treated badly a lot so they jumped straight to you doing that as a piss take?

Their behaviour was unacceptable though and I'd be tempted to do the "shall we just not do presents next year" talk.

PuppyMonkey · 04/01/2025 13:36

Very Odd, but maybe when you came to take the first bottle away she actually had really wanted it and was a bit peeved at having to swap to something she might not have liked as much?

Original poster
bagpuss90 · 04/01/2025 13:36

She got me some nice bits. Probably not what I’d buy myself but they were gifts - and it’s always nice to get anything and obviously I thanked her

OP posts:
Hesonlyakidharry · 04/01/2025 13:39

Had she maybe drank it and then had to go buy another bottle when you asked for it back? That could explain some annoyance.

Original poster
bagpuss90 · 04/01/2025 13:39

And I might add- I make most of my own cards, I spent a good hour making her Christmas card

OP posts:
MolkosTeenageAngst · 04/01/2025 13:39

Was she upset that you’d initially given her a gift she didn’t like or was she upset that you swapped the gifts back? Was she upset before you realised she’d received the wrong gift? Were the other little bits in the bags given to the right friend?

Jeeeeez · 04/01/2025 13:41

I hope you replied, don’t worry I definitely won’t…

PeppyGreenFinch · 04/01/2025 13:41

bagpuss90 · 04/01/2025 13:39

And I might add- I make most of my own cards, I spent a good hour making her Christmas card

I hope you’ll stop from now on?

A friend doesn’t behave as she did.

Kitkatcatflap · 04/01/2025 13:44

I am always surprised when people say they physically handed over a card/gift etc., and the recipient remained tight lipped. How is a possible to accept a gift from a person stood directly in front of you and NOT say thank you.

Notimeforaname · 04/01/2025 13:46

She said “don’t you ever do this to me again”

That's when you should have said "okeydokey, no presents next year. Just cards, cool".