Arrrrgghhh!!!!

[Ilovelisting]

I am 50 and every woman my age who I seem to come across looks fabulous and gets mistaken for 35 and has the smooth neck of a baby and all that good stuff. And I have no delusions about myself that I was ever Claudia bloody Schieffer (showing my age there), but I dress nicely and my hair is nice and I wear makeup, albeit in an amateur fashion, and I am not dowdy and I like to think I have wit and a youthful approach to life. And I look in the mirror and defnitely see puffiness and eyelids that are going south but I am not overly disgusted with my reflection - and I do tend to be a harsh critic of myself.
BUT...........today ANOTHER person mistook me for being a good decade older than I am, This is the second time in a year that this has happened, and over the last 10 years I have been mistaken for being older upteen times. And I can't put my finger on what is going on..like am I in denial about my face or is it a kind of old vibe I give off.

Also, DH tells me dutifully that I am loveliness itself but besides him, nobody ever tells me I look well. So I guess maybe I don't and I am living in delusion? AIBU to ask someone to talk me off the ledge? I know this is all quite incoherent but today's comment just pushed me over the edge.

Hi IP I'm 43 and I would like to offer my 2 cents. First of all, I'm sure you are lovely pretty and you seem like you have a great sense of humour. I was wondering if you maybe use black eyeliner all around your eyes, as this can age? Secondly I had deep chemical peel, laser treatment botox I'm very into that and all I can say no cream absolutely none has the same effect. In few years I am planning deep plane vertical face lift, but I appreciate its invasive, painful, costly and not for everybody. Having had all my procedures I'm certain I look my age. I have met absolutely no 50 year old looking 35. It's a common low effort compliment but some people believe it and run with it lol. What is your make up routine OP what foundation do you use if any? Do you contour?

Yes I would be interested in hearing about your make up routine and skincare routine also OP.

I wonder if it's because you dress nicely. Do you dress youthfully? I don't mean short shirts or tight dresses, but a lot of younger people are quite casual in the way they dress.

@PierceMorgansChin @Husbandrippedmeoff
With pleasure! Well, I always take makeup off, use a L'occitane oil cleanser, an Aveda acid exfoliating thing a couple of times per week and a Clinique moisturiser with SPF. I lash on a facial oil and thick moisturiser (have dry skin) at night. I use Estee Lauder foundation and this benefit dandelion powder that's meant to make me radiant. Then brown eyeliner and mascara. Bit of blusher. Bob's your uncle. My skillset does not include conturing I am afraid but I am always thinking that one of these days I will watch a few vids on YouTube and become someone who applies makeup in a non-random fashion. All comments welcome.
@PierceMorgansChin is the deep chemical peel something you have to do often? I always think of that episode of Sex and the City where Samantha gets a bad one (because I am SO old 🙄)

Thanks for your interest and lovely comments xx

Hmm. I never dress formally really, if I were to describe my style it'd be 'teacher chic', if you know what I mean...jumpers, cord skirts, boots, hoopy earrings, not very edgy but not the full Laura Ashley either.

Think yourself lucky, OP. I keep getting mistaken for a man. I'm in my 60s but have a 36-25-26 figure, but apparently short hair means I'm a bloke.

But someone did tell me I'm not nearly old enough to retire the other day. Which was nice.

Oh for crying out loud, what are people like???! Though by the sound of it you are a man with a very enviable figure!!!!

I follow this lady - she has had a top half facelift but I love the simplicity of her makeup routines

Oh great, will use this, thanks!

Re Posture, maybe look into Pilates. Supports both your posture and your ability to not give a fuck.

Have you thought about tret? I've been using it for about 6 months now and I think it has made an improvement in my skin.

Oh and I highly recommend you watch "The Substance" which is a film with Demi Moore.

On her 50th birthday she gets sacked from her tv show so decides to undertake a "procedure" the results of which will put things in perspective for you!!

You don't mention any lipstick? I used to love a strong bright pink lip but can't get away with it any more but love a tinted lip balm.

Estee Lauder can be a bit flat and settle into fine lines, I think its a bit dated as far as foundations go, especially if we talking Estee Lauder Double Wear. I would try Lancome Teint Idole with white lid, the moisturising one, it has a nice glow. I only do chemical peel once a year because it takes me ages to recover! If you don't know where to start on YouTube try glam girl gabi she is exclusiley talking about how not to age yourself with make up and they are short videos, not obnoxious. Sounds like you have lovely routine. What does your hair look like? Long, short? Do you dye it?

Hi OP. I work in an 11-18 girls school. A teacher stopped me to say he belatedly realised I was a member of staff but he had thought I was a sixth former.

I'm 47 but often get told I look younger. Not 30s though!

According to an unsolicited comment from a colleague, my skin changed dramatically when I started HRT two years ago.

I still have the wobbly under chin/neck thing going on though. And wrinkles etc.

Possibly something in my favour is I am hypermobile which can given the appearance of fewer wrinkles as my skin is more elastic.

I dress in trainers and wide leg trousers most of the time, usually try to wear a more modern one, so stopped white trainers some time ago.

Oh and DD16 authorises all my clothing choices 😂

I'm 55 and up till about 48, everything was looking OK. Then bam, I aged 10 years overnight!

I thought about whether I wanted to make an "effort" and the fact is, it would just be for other people. I genuinely don't care what people think of how I look anymore. I used to care too much and it didn't make my life better in any way, just caused me stress and insecurity. I'm glad to leave all that behind.

I let my hair go grey in lockdown, rarely bother with make up and don't use any lotions, creams etc. I wouldn't really be insulted if someone thought i was in my 60s. So what? It doesn't affect my life in any way. I'm done judging myself or caring if anyone else does!

Agree with this. Makes you strong in many ways!

Bastarding machine at my gym tells me I have a bio age of 62 - whatever that means. I'm 56! Fortunately, as above IDGAF.

Oh yep, I use clinique almost lipstick, and they've a new lip oil you can put on your cheeks that I use. Je recommende!

That is all so useful, really, thank you. It's the Estee Lauder futuriste one but now that you say it, I haven't been happy with the look of the foundation for a while but I know my shade in it and I am a bit makeup-counter-phobic so was resisiting change. But I trust Lancome so will absolutely invest in this.
Mid length hair, dyed brown, dragged straight...

Anything that supports my ability to not give a fuck and yet doesn't leave me with a hangover is A-OK with me!

I have been meaning to watch that film and may hit it tonight! I love Demi, and recommend her autobiography if you're looking for a good read.
I had heard of Tret here on MN but had looked no further into it. I would definitely consider it.

Wow, that's a definite vote for HRT then. Janey so many options, I am going to be a busy woman 😆

That sounds really liberating, and I sense I will get to this point, despite my air of desperation here. I really hope I do.

I worked with a black lady who I thought was in her late 20s, maybe early 30s at most. When she told me she was late 40s I couldn't believe it. I told her she looked so much younger and she pointed at her skin and said ... "black doesn't crack"!

I’m 58, game changer for me feeling better about myself was getting my eyebrows microbladed, not angry bird type, but feather strokes, I’ve also had a lash line enhancement, they tattoo along lash line giving appearance of a fuller lash and next month I’m having a lip blush to redefine my lips, I haven’t resorted to Botox, was considering eyelid surgery but with my new eyebrows and lash line enhancement feel much better about myself so that’s on back burner for now, of course you can pencil these in, but getting up in the morning and that initial look in the mirror makes me feel better about myself, I don’t care what others think, it’s about what I think. Check out PMU artists in your area. Also I have started using facial oils, I was dubious at first, having had greasy combination skin most of my life but feeling dryer in recent years, these have had significant impact I am now confident with my permanent makeup (PMU) to go make up free most days, might slap on some tinted moisturiser. I have a lovely DD who thinks I don’t look my age😀

Have a google of Helen Mirren, she’s had her eyebrows microbladed/tattooed.