Arrrrgghhh!!!!

[Ilovelisting]

I am 50 and every woman my age who I seem to come across looks fabulous and gets mistaken for 35 and has the smooth neck of a baby and all that good stuff. And I have no delusions about myself that I was ever Claudia bloody Schieffer (showing my age there), but I dress nicely and my hair is nice and I wear makeup, albeit in an amateur fashion, and I am not dowdy and I like to think I have wit and a youthful approach to life. And I look in the mirror and defnitely see puffiness and eyelids that are going south but I am not overly disgusted with my reflection - and I do tend to be a harsh critic of myself.
BUT...........today ANOTHER person mistook me for being a good decade older than I am, This is the second time in a year that this has happened, and over the last 10 years I have been mistaken for being older upteen times. And I can't put my finger on what is going on..like am I in denial about my face or is it a kind of old vibe I give off.

Also, DH tells me dutifully that I am loveliness itself but besides him, nobody ever tells me I look well. So I guess maybe I don't and I am living in delusion? AIBU to ask someone to talk me off the ledge? I know this is all quite incoherent but today's comment just pushed me over the edge.

Just to add I definitely do not look like I'm 40. I am just happy that I am hanging in there and looking OK for someone in their 50s. Nivea and vaseline seemed to have helped my face.

I am sure you look fine OP.

I am 66 and really do look my age and then some, but up to about 58 I didn't I was always being told I looked about 10 years younger. I put it down to the fact my hair is still mousey brown with very few grey hairs.
My dh on the other hand is 70 and we met some new people a while ago and he mentioned his age and they both were a bit stunned lots of "ooh you never are", I said my age and nobody said anything, ever so slightly crushed.

I think this is so common with men and women as we age. Sadly most men age better than we do, I guess due to the fact that there hormones don't shift as drastically as ours.

I recall one of our elderly neighbours as a teen, she had dementia. She said that I lived with my father and grandmother, my poor mum! I will never forget it especially as my DH is younger than me and from an ethnic group that ages much better than us pasty brits. I am doomed!

Ha ha, well if I look like i am glowing from within it's more likely to come from a bottle of Malbec than ready brek. My diet is a bit eratic, like< I almost always get my five a day in, and am at this very moment smugly drinking an avocado and spinach smoothie I made, but I do overdo carbs and put my head in a bag of crisps too often.
Your question and a pp's advice regarding posture has actually really made me think about the way I carry myself, so I am going to do my best to try standing/walking as though a scary ballet teacher was banging their cane at me, from here on in.

Yup, my DH is nearly a decade older than me and going on recent experience it's probably only a matter of time before he's mistaken for my son 😆😥

The cruelty of life, your poor mum. And there was no botox or bloody avocados to turn to back then!

Sorry to drag this out but if anyone has an opinion on Collagen supplements perhaps you would share it? I spent 60 quid on the good ones recently and want to know if I may as well have cast the money to the winds.

If it's any consolation, I'm 50 and recently a lady working in a pharmacy assumed I qualified for free prescriptions (so 60). Granted I felt like shit (hence the pharmacy) but I was bitterly wounded😉

But then, everybody under the age of 30 just looks 15 to me so swings and roundabouts I guess😄

Lord God, you poor thing, and going on yours, mine and others' experiences there seem to be a lot of people who could do with a copy of "Basic Tact: A Beginner's Guide".😅

I agree with the exercise especially strength training and maybe some hiit? Drink lots of water.

I use argan oil now. Rarely wear foundation. I was trying allsorts of creams but am sticking to simple.
Genetics mean I look younger than my mid 50s. Get taken for early 40s. My neck is definitely looking older but meh. Nothing much can be done.

What hairstyle do you have? And have you had your brows microbladed? Eyebrows are aging imo.

Sorry but that last paragraph made me laugh 😂

I have layered hair past shoulder length, died to near my natural colour of brown. Nothing fancy but I do go to a good hairdresser and she recommends some great extortionate products. I haven't done the microblading thing, I just have them threaded and tinted. It seems a bit ruinously expensive, but maybe worth it?

Dyed, not died ffs

My doctor says all supplements just make expensive wee, so no I don't think they are worth the money. Try bone broth. Unless you are veggie.

Thanks, good to know on the supplements! Can I make the broth out of the bones of the next person to mistake me for a 65 year old?

@Ilovelisting I have found one product which is described as a good night's sleep in a bottle. It gives your skin a slight lift/glow.

L'Occitane immortelle reset. You use a small dab under your night moisturiser. It honestly made a difference to me. I notice a difference if I stop using it.

You can get it on offer or on ebay for under £40. The 30ml bottle will last approx a month. You can get a travel 5ml for under £10 if you want to trial it first. There is also a version for just eyes (I've not used).

I'd asked a colleague what she was using/doing because she looked so good on a Monday morning. She recommended this.

I have no vested interest in L'Occitane but I do use this and one of their shampoos which has been wonderful for my hair.

When I asked to get the mirena removed my GP asked if I was still having sex! I am early 50s!

Oooh I actually have used free samples of this and liked it, I will make it my business to purchase it when January poverty has loosened its grip.

Read the beauty myth and Phillipa Perry’s column and try not to give af. It is pure misogyny that means women aren’t allowed to age or look old. If your partner thinks you are wonderful and you are happy then bigger everyone else.

Also there’s a reason there are so many creams and shit and those companies make so much money - they don’t actually do anything!

Bugger not bigger!

Are you thin?
I think that after a certain age being quite thin can age your face. I am pretty chubby and people think I am yyounger than my 50 odd years.
On the downside no matter how well I dress/am groomed I tend to look scruffy

This. I think people who look “good” for their age still look their age!

And whomever is telling you you look 10 years older is surely very rude?! How does a comment like that even come about in conversation unless you directly ask someone how old they think you are?

I often get mistaken for being younger but I’ve just inherited my dms good genes - nothing to do with fancy creams etc. And I’m guessing the people who think I look my age just don’t say so!

I hear you, I do, and I love P Perry and her openess of mind and spirit, and I call myself a feminist and am painfully aware of misogyny especially as I age, but still I care how I look and how I am seen, I do! I guess it is part osmosis and part just missing that youthful thing where you could, for example, wake up with a hangover having not removed your eye makeup and look sexy instead of demented.

I am built to be thin (no boobs, tiny frame) but nope not thin as such anymore, would be a size 12. A thin face though I guess.