Was this a typical birth experience?

[Thepurple1]

I had DS about 5 months ago and am starting to think a lot more about labour and my experience and wondering if it was typical or not.

I had DS by a csection, I asked for the section as I was being induced. During the induction I had a sweep and the midwife accidentally broke my waters. My contractions didn’t start so I was taken to delivery suite after 24 hours but declined the drip and asked for a csection. I knew he was going to be a small baby and the risks of intervention were higher.

Im told it was a straightforward delivery but when DS was born he wasn’t put on my chest for skin to skin until I was in recovery afterwards. By this point he had been dressed with a hat on so the skin to skin was delayed as he had to be undressed again. Immediately after he was delivered he was wrapped in a towel and given to my DH who brought him to show me, DH then went with the midwives to weigh, dress him etc whilst I was being sewn up.

I spent 4 hours in recovery as DS had hypoglycaemia (he was small) and we were discharged to the ward at 4am. I knew DH couldn’t stay but he wasn’t allowed on the ward at all so I had none of my bags (they were put behind my bed). I had to sit in bed until he came back at 9am with no nappies or milk etc as the midwives didn’t respond to the buzzer and didn’t have time to look for them. I was slightly traumatised when he came back! I also didn’t eat from 11am when I requested the section until breakfast at 7am the next day as the kitchen was apparently closed after my section.

Was this a typical birth experience? Some of my NCT friends gave birth in different hospitals and had skin to skin and better experiences on the postnatal ward. I’m wondering if I should just get over it or if I should complain. DS has never latched and I don’t think the lack of skin to skin helped. I also opened a stitch reaching to get DS from the cot as the buzzer was unanswered so long and my wound healing hasn’t been great.

Sounds awful and not like my experience.
I had emergency section and held baby with partners help. They give me three slices of toast and a cup of tea when I made it back to the ward (even fed dp). I had baby 09:24 but they weren't planning on sending partner home as luckily they were quiet on the ward - I sent him home because it was pointless for us both to be shattered.
I stayed in a couple of nights due to some issues but found the midwifes (most of them) very very good, kind and helpful. They heard baby crying and popped in and said oh you needn't have got him, we can help. I fed him and then she talked me into them taking him for a few hours.
Our local hospital gets a bad press but honestly found the midwives to be really kind and couldn't believe how much more they done (washed me, unpacked bags, made cups of tea, changed bums etc etc)

Sounds similar to my last c section nearly 15 years ago.

anaesthetist was rude (I think knackered as I was last on the list) and got huffy and told me off when I jerked when the spinal needle hit a nerve.

No help all night one once on the ward. Asked midwife to change nappy and she refused (I couldn’t reach due to catheter twisting and tight).

Certainly no post op food, so I went from the night before the section, all through the day of the section while waiting for the op, and then all the next night with zero food. Nearly 48 hours. Nearly 24 hours of that was without water (had a few ice cubes).

When changing catheter I said I was concerned that the in-laws due to visit would arrive, open the curtain and there I’d be spreadeagled. The nurse said oh well we don’t have time to do anything about that and shrugged.

The day afterwards, I was instructed to get out of bed and lift my full bag and case from the floor onto the bed as they were moving me to a different bay. When I said I’d had a c section and couldn’t lift the case, the HCA/midwife said well no one else will do it because of health and safety.

This is a large teaching hospital in the SE.

OP, I had a vaginal birth but DS was whisked away to suction his airways as there had even méconium in the delivery. I was being stitched for a tear. By the time they’d done all that they wrapped up DS and gave him to DH. Also he spent quite a bit of time in NICU in an incubator for the first 2 or 3 days as they thought he had a chest infection. So I was pumping, had very little contact, and struggled to establish bf in the first week.
However. After that rocky start DS was a cuddly baby and toddler, an affectionate child, and is now a great big teenager who still gives both of us big hugs (my head fits under his chin now, he’s nearly 18).
So, whilst I think you were treated pretty poorly and they deserve a talking to - don’t worry about it long term. Cuddle your boy and it’ll all come right in the end.

Not typical in my experience. 2 planned csections, both at 37 weeks due to small babies that stopped growing (and breech for my 1st hence the section). Both time I had the sheet lowered so I could see them born, skin to skin on my chest in theatre (they had hats on and I popped my gown and some towels over them). Both times they didn't get dressed for hours and hours, lots of food given to me in recovery. Luckily in our trust you get your own room and partners are able to stay. I loved my births, I'm sorry you didn't have the same if that's what you wanted!

Oh and both babies breastfed, second baby latched on in theatre!

I took some food - fruit, cereal bars, crackers, bottled drinks - into hospital with me for both my births as I'd heard horror stories from friends about not being fed or not being able to get food. For DC1, I had one hospital meal (a sandwich) in the two days I was in there. For DC2, the food was actually quite good (as was the care compared to my first birth) and I would happily have stayed longer but had to get back home for DC1. I did have trouble getting it as I was in a side room and you had to collect a tray from near reception. The other women seemed to have husbands or partners doing this, but DH was at home looking after DC1 so I couldn't collect anything until the catheter and drip (blood loss) had come out and even then it was a mad shuffle there and back since I had left the baby in the room, which you're not really meant to do.

Tbh I purposefully didn't really sleep beyond a light doze the entire time I was in hospital and mostly held onto the baby, since getting them out of the cot was such a faff. It wasn't hard for me to stay awake as I was absolutely wired after both births. I made sure everything I needed was within reaching distance and changed the baby on a mat on my lap so I didn't need to get up. The low point was when someone had moved my nappy bag so I had to shuffle out of bed and simultaneously move drip and catheter along with me to change the baby. But although I had somewhat traumatic births for both (severe tearing and blood loss), I hadn't had a csection so slightly different scenario.

Becoming a mother has highlighted to me the innate contempt society has for women's health, including women giving birth. There is a huge inequality - women as a group provide so much care for others but their own care needs are bottom of the pile. It's just "shut up and don't complain". But even recognising this, I remain horrified at the treatment of women who have just gone through major surgery and have another life to care for.

Sorry to hear about your experience.

I agreed for my waters to be broken and then agreed a csection instead of induction by drip.

I may sure the consultant agreed my birth plan before I would agree to the csection. She was lovely and I'd already seen her the day before.

Consultant made sure the theatre team knew birth plan.

I had skin to skin in theatre - they also lowered screen enough for me to see baby's head coming out and being lifted up. I let them do their quick baby checks then had the baby straight back. After a while in recovery, I then was ready for them to weigh the baby. It was lovely,I have some great pics as we were stunned how massive our baby was 😂

My midwife sorted us tea and toast and some biscuits even though it was around 1am. I was ravenous!!

I had already fought for a private room so my dh could stay 1 overnight due to some medical needs I had. The night duty definitely didn't like answering the buzzer and actively tried to discourage us from using it. I discharged myself 23 hours post section as no way I was going to stay in the ward by myself overnight after the lack of care I'd had the previous night!!

I've had 1 vaginal hospital birth, 1 csection hospital birth and 1 home birth. The homebirth was the best for my mental and physical health all round!

I’ve had two (very much unwanted) sections. All the reasons I didn’t want sections came true even though I had a birth plan for if a section was needed. I didn’t get skin to skin with either of mine. My first was a bit shocked so I understand that. My second they just said “I don’t do that” when I asked and asked for it. I wanted delayed cord clamping and didn’t get that either. My husband wasn’t allowed into recovery with me and my midwife had to leave as end of her shift so I had very little support. Nurses took ages to respond to my buzzer too but did eventually come and change the baby and try to help me feed. I would definitely complain about that. After my first my husband was able to go to the garage and get me a sandwich. My second they gave me a sandwich in the ward eventually. None of the famous tea and toast apparently offered to women who have natural births! I think hospitals are absolutely shocking at how they treat section mothers. It really should be better and I’m sorry you went through that. I would consider complaining even if it just helps bring some closure to you. A birth debrief might also be helpful to share how you’re feeling.

Childbirth these days is a bloody disgrace. We never had it this bad in the past.

Midwife with 20 years experience here. Congratulations on your baby! Hope he’s doing really well now.
Your postnatal time all sounds very difficult and you should have had far better care than you did. I worked in a baby friendly accredited hospital and every well woman and baby were offered and encouraged to have skin to skin. Barring complications, skin to skin was supposed to continue as long as possible and at least until the first feed had taken place.
With a c section birth, baby is placed across the chest, covered with towels and supported by partner and midwife keeping an eye. Weighing etc can be done later in recovery unless a reason to be done sooner. Tucked in with mum on the way to recovery.

You say your little one was smaller and hadn’t been growing as expected. Then had hypoglycaemia after birth. In my experience she should have had blood sugar monitoring, observations and a feeding plan. Even without all that support should be offered at or before 6 hours for baby’s second feed.

it is extremely scary to be recovering from a major op and be a new mum and learning what to do, in a strange environment. You did well managing all of that.

Why isn’t good care happening on postnatal wards:

midwives having 10 mums and 10 babies to look after at once.
Mothers who are poorly and need a lot of input
ditto babies
Feeding support takes a long time
Every mother and baby needs a daily check
Discharge checks and paperwork
As soon as 1 mum goes home, a new mum is admitted, with all her admission paperwork and needs
3 drug rounds in 12.5 hour shift (30 mins each plus more time for IVABs.
Maternal and baby obs
Complex social problems including liaising with social workers - takes a long time and is very important
Talking with drs about plans of care.

People can’t be ‘ticked off’ and forgotten about. Often you’ll spend a while with someone and move on. Then a call bell will go and client 1 needs you again.

Women and babies have shocking care on the wards a lot of the time. Midwives have terrible time too because you are run ragged but no one is really helped. I ended every shift feeling a massive failure as I couldn’t give the care I wanted to.

Anyway, a massive post! Sorry! I definitely think you should complain about all aspects of your care.

When the baby is delivered by c section it goes straight onto the midwives / paediatrician to be checked over and ensure that it is breathing and healthy. They are purple when they are delivered by lscs and need their airways clearing. Also your abdomen is open and needs repairing. You need a sterile field or you will have an infection to complain about. There is nowhere to put the baby on your skin because you are draped up with sterile towels. Another NHS bashing thread where people have no idea what they are talking about .

While it is true that baby is often taken to the resuscitare to be checked over, this can be literally a minute or so when all is well with him/her. It’s actually harmful to do suctioning without good reason and it isn’t standard after c section by any means.
Re the sterile field, baby is placed across the mother’s chest and covered with towels. In the absence of complications, every mother should have skin to skin offered and supported.
Please do check your information Pussycat22.

Seeing as I'm a theatre nurse I don't need to check my information thank you.

You were in hospital but not actually ill. You chose to have a baby. People who are ill had no choice. Your baby and their health is important, you aren't.

I think that pretty much sums up post birth care in this Country. It shouldn't be the case but it is.

Also if the baby is covered with towels how is it skin to skin.? You need to check your information Starlightstargazer ! I don't think you can comment really if you're not a theatre nurse/ midwife, doctor or odp.

Are you in obstetric theatres?
I’ve been a midwife for over 20 years. The poster you originally quoted said they are an obstetric anaesthetist working in maternity theatres.
You might be very good at your job in general theatres, but your information is incorrect for maternity.
If you do work in maternity theatres, your policies need rapid updating in best practice for mothers and babies.

Dd was a section baby. She was born, wrapped in a towel and shown to me then taken away by midwives. I didn't see her until she was dressed and in a cot several hours later, so your experience sounds similar. I have no memory of food after her birth, however when ds was born there was no food available and midwives suggested dh go to the local take away and get me food which he did.
The main issue here seems to be that midwives weren't responding to a buzzer which could have been signaling an emergency.

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0266613819300786

https://www.mtw.nhs.uk/caesarean-birth/#:~:text=Your%20birth%20experience%2Fkangaroo%20care,theatre%20using%20a%20KangaWrap%20Kardi.

some links re skin to skin in theatre. The YouTube clip is a baby friendly c section with skin to skin.

Fair enough you are a midwife but you will only have a nominal idea of operating theatre practice.

I am a midwife with over 20 years experience. The poster you quoted originally is an obstetric anaesthetist.
Skin to skin means in contact with the mother’s skin. Baby is then covered in a towel to prevent heat loss. This would be the same regardless of birth.

I’m also a midwife and skin to skin in theatre while being stitched up is common now. Not an infection control risk as above the sterile field. Baby is just below mums neck, lying across mum. The towels are placed on baby’s back to keep them warm, but tummy to mum’s chest skin to skin is happening.

on the postnatal ward they should have answered your buzzer and helped pass you stuff, etc.

i would definitely contact pals or write to the head of midwifery explaining what happened. Sounds like a poorly run unit.

Sorry to hijack your thread OP.
You’re right in that theatre is not my area of expertise but it should be a UK wide practice to offer and support skin to skin in theatre for well mums and babies. My role as a midwife in theatre is to support that happening and be responsible for baby being well.
Maternity theatres are very different to regular operating theatres.

Really? I think after 20 years of working in an obstetric theatre I’ve got quite a good idea what goes on! Any midwife would. I’m old enough to have been taught to scrub and used to scrub in as we didn’t used to have a scrub nurse for emergencies. But even a midwife who hasn’t scrubbed knows whether skin to skin is possible or not!

Yes I think I get that , thank you. I am a theatre nurse with 42 years experience.

I've had 2 c sections in the past 3 years and this is exactly what's happened each time.

Everyone I know that's had one has had skin to skin offered unless other issues have prevented it.