Can’t compliment me

[Hellohihola]

Hi all

I have been seeing someone since September last year. He has a lot of anxiety about me leaving him due to his past history, I am very reassuring on my feelings towards him and he doesn’t need to worry about this.

He cannot compliment me, he will only provide “banter insults” and he says this is because I have a big ego, and he doesn’t want my head getting any bigger.

i do not have a big ego.. in any sense! It would be nice to be told he thinks I’m beautiful or that I’m an amazing person and it’s starting to break my confidence.

i have spoken to him about it but he doesn’t provide me with any reassurance.

what would you do? TIA

He didn’t chat me up as such, as we have known each other a long time but we crossed paths in the gym and the flirting started.. and we laughed a lot. That’s what really attracted me to him (on top of initial physical attraction). It’s been a long time since I’ve been able to laugh with a man

lol! That’s funny. No nothing like that at all.. I know he finds me very attractive and he hates it so he tries to bring me down, clearly and it’s just not nice nor acceptable regardless on how attracted you are to someone!

Oh for fucks sake, please just bin this one off!

He's insecure, insults you, reckons you have a big head and has YOU trying to reassure HIM!!

It's laughable!

Start the new year fresh, get rid of him!

I'm guessing his feelings for you have started to intensify to the point he is now worried about losing you. He is ramping up the negging to convince you both you're lucky to have him so he has nothing to fear. Don't start thinking that if that's the case you may be can reassure him out if it and help him feel secure. This sort of thing is deeply rooted and isn't usually fixable. You just waste years being more and more loving to help him while he becomes worse and worse as he gets more attached. Its a vicious circle.

He needs to do some serious work on himself. He probably won't. He's acknowledged he knows his behaviour is awful so clearly doesn't want to change. You however sound lovely and deserve so much better. Move on before he destroys your confidence. Good luck OP 🌷

Or he’s now loosing interest; let’s be honest. None of us can guess what this losers motivation is.

Btw posters, I had to google negging. I'm familiar with the behaviour (ex for a reason) but had no idea it was called this. 🤔

He hates the fact he finds you very attractive?

What on earth kind of backwards emotionally-challenged fragile-masculinity kind of behaviour is that?!

Bin him OP. Go find someone who finds you very attractive and isn't afraid to shout it from the rooftops.