Telling someone gift is wrong or keep schtum

80 replies

HettyMeg · 03/01/2025 07:59

Interested in others' views on this. Say a family member had got you something for Christmas and it didn't fit or just wasn't right, would you tell them?

My view is that it's not worth the hassle but then I am a people pleaser. I'll just quietly donate.

YABU = You should tell people if it's the wrong size

YANBU = Suck it up, it's the British way

Signed, the recipient of a pair of kids' (not kid) gloves!

OP posts:

PrincessOfPreschool · 03/01/2025 14:24

Take it back! What a waste otherwise. We always give gift receipts on our family.

slightlydistrac · 04/01/2025 11:18

My neighbour ended up with dozens and dozens of frog ornaments after somebody bought her one once and she said she liked it out of politeness. They then bought more and more for Christmas and birthdays for several years, by which time other people started to notice the frog ornament collection, thought "Ooh that's a good idea, I'll get her one of those". Cue a never-ending avalanche of the things!

Bearbookagainandagain · 04/01/2025 12:17

It's common sense to include a gift receipt when offering clothes for that reason. I also tend to get one if possible for jewellery or wearable items if I'm unsure about the recipient's taste.

If they haven't done this, i would absolutely contact them to ask if they still have the receipt to exchange it for the right size. It's not about questioning the gift itself, it's just very difficult to get someone else's size right and it's not a big deal.

KerryBlues · 04/01/2025 12:20

Feelinadequate23 · 03/01/2025 08:37

I think it depends on how wrong it is and whether you think thought has gone into it.

My aunt received an XL jumper this year and she is a size 6! TBF she tried it on, in case it's one of those styles that works well baggy, but she looked like a child trying on her dad's jumper! 😆The giver directly asked her if she liked it and aunt was genuinely confused about why it was given, so she was honest and said the pattern was lovely but the size rather swamped her! Turned out the giver thought they'd picked up a Small but had got it wrong. They'd included the receipt so she's going to see if she can get it swapped. I think it's fair enough to raise in those circumstances.

On the other hand, my lovely mum gave DH and I each a mug, which we both really hate. I'm not going to say anything as she's the type to put thought into things and I don't want to hurt her feelings. It's a bizarre choice from her, I'm really not sure what she was thinking. We have just had our kitchen re-done to a stylish farmhouse style (which she loves!) and she bought us each a massive (family size!) novelty-style mug each which relates to something we have no interest in at all (she got me a ballet one, I did ballet aged 3-6 and haven't shown any interest since. And DH got a Star Wars one, when he has never shown any interest, hasn't even watched all the films).

This is very unusual for her as she normally checks gifts beforehand and they are always really nice! We've hidden them under our bed, have told her we're each taking them to our office to be our special work mug, and will take to the charity shop in a few months! If she gets anything similar again we will have to be honest as I don't want hundreds of these things!

Does a mug really have to match your kitchen?!

Feelinadequate23 · 04/01/2025 12:25

@KerryBlues no, not at all. I was just explaining the context of our style versus the style she had bought - clearly not something we are in to!

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