To ask why you wanted kids

[Stuffisperplexing]

Was it an overwhelming instinct or a choice based on particular reasons? Did you worry about the downsides or did you prefer a leap of faith?

Is it how you imagined (or better or worse?)?

Since I was little I always wanted dc. I wanted 2 of each and I feel so lucky that it's what I eventually got! 💕 For me it has been amazing, they are my favourite little people. Of course it's stressful sometimes but hearing them laugh, seeing their little faces light up at new toys/experiences makes it all worthwhile. I couldn't be without them now. I miss them if I'm (rarely) away from them for an evening. They all have such individual personalities too.

Instinct I think. It's much shitter than I imagined, very stressful, but my oldest has suspected ADHD and has been near manic with excitement today resulting in him just running round the house screaming, or roaring at his little brother, or kicking/punching/pushing/biting/nipping his brother too.

Its been an awful day, one of those that makes you regret ever having kids

I never wanted any, and was happily childfree until I finished a book that had taken the guts of ten years when just turning 39, thought ‘You know, might be interesting’, and conceived immediately. It has been interesting. More than I expected!

I didn't. At all. Knew it would be hard, tiring and a bit shit.

DH convinced me. And although it was all of those things, it was also incredible. Love my DD more than anything, she's the world's best human.

I think my low expectations helped!

I always knew I wanted children but it was a fairly vague desire that was set in an assumed future. And then, once I was married, had a home and a decent job it clicked into full broodiness practically overnight.

I always had a kind of woolly idea that I wanted children, though I only started to feel it more strongly as I approached 30.

I am currently pregnant with number three (envisioned myself with two as I’m one of two, but knew almost as soon as my eldest was born that I’d like three or four). Motherhood has been the greatest joy of my life, far better than I imagined. But I feel very lucky that I feel that way, because it’s also had a greater impact on my life than I had really anticipated. My career and social life were huge to me and I have struggled to see them take a hit, but my husband and I are doing our best to juggle things as well as possible and in a way which sits OK with us and our parenting ideas.

Instinct for me I think! I just didn’t see a future without children in it and haven’t regretted it for a moment. Obviously there are bits from my previous childfree life I’d love to experience again and fully plan to when my little ones have grown up a bit!

Overwhelming sense of almost biological desire.

Yep this with bells on except I now have 2 DS's 😂

I think as long as your expectations are low then its dandy!
I have taken both away as babies which people thought we were mad for but to me might as well do the same stuff with someone else cooking me food and them being more tired by swimming everyday then be at home 24/7!

It wasn't planned, but I knew i always wanted children.
It is exhausting and never ending BUT also the best thing ever. I wouldnt change a thing... well, except for more sleep!!

Yes, I should have said this — DH was very enthusiastic and persuasive. And yes, also. The most I expected was ‘interesting’. DS is now 12 and fabulous, if tempestuous.

It was partly the fact that I just knew that I wanted DC and partly that I wanted to experience the chaos and fun. I didn't spend much time around infants prior to becoming a mum, so I definitely didn't have baby fever. I enjoyed the early baby years more than I expected though. My youngest is now 15 months, so I'm still very much in the thick of it. It is stressful at times but life without my DC (for me personally) would feel shallow. I say that as someone that had an interesting career pre-children, travelled extensively and had a number of interesting hobbies. I'm really grateful for the experience.

Like others I had a vague idea that I wanted children, then once I got married it seemed a good time to start! I had pretty much no expectations of what it would be like as I didn’t consider myself to be maternal, but I’m surprised by how naturally it has come to me. Although it is hard work since having my DS life has become more meaningful in a way that I can’t explain. The whole experience is so rewarding and it feels like I’m part of a new ‘club’ now. It’s actually been great for my social life as well to be honest. I thought I wanted 2 babies but I would have more if I could persuade DH!

I blame biology. From active dislike to kids I started longing for one in early 30’s. One miscarriage later and I eventually became a mother at the age of 36. DC1 was (and still is) so awesome that we decided to have another one.
DC2 has ASD and just like @TheLovleyChebbyMcGee life is hard sometimes but they are the sunshines of my life.

I didn’t know you could love somebody so much.

My hormones made me do it. I have never in my life been on hormonal contraception.

Growing up I swore up and down that I'd never have kids, but I think this was in response to the immense pressure and expectation that my mum put on me to "find someone and have children". For context, I have a disability so she really meant "anyone willing" and needless to say, I didn't like that. She was furious and upset when I broke up with my first ever boyfriend.

Anyway.

After some time and distance I started to feel a certain way 2 weeks out of the month every month around the age of 25. It took us 3 years and 10 months to conceive successfully and I had my son at 31.

It is an irrational decision, we are financially worse off, socially worse off, as a couple worse off, I look like shit from the lack of sleep and weight gain. My partner is drinking more and going to the gym less. The house is a tip and I don't cook anything more complicated than a spaghetti Bolognese these days (sad as I loved to cook and bake bread).

I don't know what I expected but parenthood has been an absolute shock to the system. Adjusting to being responsible for someone's every need was a huge shift.

But I am happy and love my DS very much and I'm pregnant with my second.

We'll see if we have a third!

I actually have no idea. Because it was the done thing, the next step, I thought my life would be incomplete without them. Hindsight tells me that I could have had a very full and happy life without having children - but it took actually having them to realise that. If I hadn't had them I think I would have always yearned/wondered what I was missing. Of course, I wouldn't be without any of them and they bring a lot to my life every day.

Overwhelming instinct + I'd always wanted to be a mother.
I'd worked with children for years in both nurseries and with special needs children and working with little ones has been nothing short of utterly joyous.
I have 2 children now and I adore them and I love being a mum.
I didn't quite anticipate how hard it would be at times tbh but I wouldn't change my life for anything. They're both such amazing little people!

i was pretty young when I had dd1. Got pregnant at 18 by accident and thought I may as well keep it, what could possibly go wrong? 😂.

I never really thought about it too much, I suppose I just subconsciously thought I likely would one day because that's what people do when they are adults. I got married and honestly a switch flicked overnight, I wanted a baby now! So yes biological instinct for me. It was hard, but not any harder than I thought it would be. I have always been the type to put others before myself and I think this trait probably helps a lot in feeling content in parenting.

Since childhood, I'd always assumed I'd have a girl and boy- the same as my mum. I'd always thought I'd have at least 1, hopefully 2 healthy children.

Hardly a leap of faith! We'd planned TTC- I went to the GP for a pre-conception check in the UK, and was looked at sideways like I had a 2nd head and what a waste of her time I was! We TTC 4yrs and the same GP said to relax and stop stressing! I actually hadn't been stressed, but now know that 4yrs TTC, with NO testing is negligent! Finally had a D21 blood test, told it was normal, and yet again, no further testing done. I then changed GP!

Long story short, we TTC 12yrs, lost 3, multiple rounds of IVF and and have no living children and never will. No cause ever found- normal on all tests. I would have loved a child and still do feel a bit emotional that it will never happen. DH is so caring and loving and I see him with relatives children and feel sad that we couldn't have any of our own.

OP- despite my own assumptions, sometimes nature takes over and you have no control.

I always wanted to be a mum, for as long as I can remember. I’m not even entirely sure why, I suppose maybe because I had a difficult childhood so I wanted to create a nice childhood for someone. As I got older it was more of a biological urge too. I did think it through, and if we weren’t in a position to have children then we wouldn’t have had them, but it was always a priority for me so we would make sure that we were in a position for them.

Yes this for me. Led to me having dc1 when I barely knew dp but 5 years down the line were 2 kids in and they were the best thing that ever happened to us. I'm shattered all the time, my house is chaos, I'm driven mad all the time, but I wouldn't have it any other way and they both bring so much joy and love. Hearing my child saying "I love you Mummy" or hearing them giggling as they play together is worth more than anything.
I don't want or need nights out or fancy trivial things for myself like expensive clothes - its all meaningless compared to my children.

I didn't, DH did. I was convinced as i was also bored of the never ending work routine. Now DC is my whole life, hard work but amazing. I realise now the whole giving your life to your career is a joke and a lie.

I feel sad people don't realise this sooner and we are very anti kid as a society in the UK and becoming more so.

I went from not thinking about having kids unless it was brought up in conversation to it being on my mind daily almost overnight from the age of 30. I had two. Each to their own but I know friends felt similarly. There seems to be less planned conception in our twenties now. It is possible that more people in their forties have kids than in their twenties.