To ask why you wanted kids

[Stuffisperplexing]

Was it an overwhelming instinct or a choice based on particular reasons? Did you worry about the downsides or did you prefer a leap of faith?

Is it how you imagined (or better or worse?)?

It's a biological imperative innit?

I love being a mam, it gives meaning to my life beyond any of the other things I do. My kids are a source of joy, worry, deep love. Both are mid teens now.

I think if they'd had serious mental health problems as some friends children have I'd find things much harder. It's the same as any other love, but more. You get the joy, but you get the pain too.

ETA - initially also there's an overwhelming sense of responsibility - it obviously either wears off or I got used to it!

Biological need. Always knew I was supposed to be a mother. I don't think women are defined by our reproductive ability but for me it was always going to be a core part of who I am.

I work in childcare so knew what I was getting into. I have a high needs SEN kiddo and was not prepared for the utter failures in the education system or the knock in effect this had in my life ie- no life because there is no school for my child

Since childhood. I always wanted 4. I have 2 though, would have more if miscarriages hadn't had the better of my mental health and certainly if DH had wanted to start earlier than we did we'd probably have had more success. A classic "I was ready but he wasn't" story. I don't begrudge him though , I have 2 beautiful children that I adore and I love being their mum. It has it's rubbish times too, don't get me wrong, but on the whole it is how I hoped 🥰

When I fell in love with a man, the biological urge to make a mini us became all consuming.

It was painful and traumatic when it didn't happen and the doctor said I was infertile (she lied!)

Having my children was more wonderful than I ever dreamed of. I love them every minute of the day.

Don’t realise what?

Total accident in my early 20s, with a boyfriend of 6 months!! No child based plans previously.

We're married 19 years now, just turned 40 with kids going to uni!!

Xx

People don't have a universal perspective, though. I've even been pregnant a couple of times (unplanned) and never felt a desire to go ahead and be a mother. I'm curious about what it's like to want to. I think overall it's better I never felt the urge but it does feel like a mystery I'll never unravel.

I always wanted to be a mum. My own mother was terrified I was going to be a teenage mother.

I eventually settled down, got married etc but the older I got, the less bothered I was about having kids until one evening when I was 29 I came downstairs in floods of tears to my husband saying I desperately needed to have a baby like, right now.

He was on board straight away and we conceived our son pretty much straight away (one miscarriage prior) and I'm now pregnant with our 2nd baby.

So for me I think it must've been overwhelming instinct to procreate 🤣

I wanted kids from aged 14. Knew I wanted to be a Mum if I could. I wanted 4 and am pregnant with my 4th now.

To be honest, I was just excited about how it would be feel to be pregnant and grow a baby inside of me. I wanted to experience the wonder of pregnancy.

I genuinely didn’t give it any more thought than that…… there was no deep reason that centred around wanting to create a family or forming a bond between me and my husband, there were no sentimental ideas about us creating a life together or any of the other romantic reasons that other people may have when thinking about having a babt. I just wanted to know what it was like to be pregnant and to experience something that is pretty much magical.

I’ve always felt maternal. As an older child you would find me playing with my younger family members and my favourite thing ever was Tiny Tears (showing my age now). I always knew I wanted kids and had them as soon as DH agreed. I’ve only had 2 due to finances but have also worked with children my entire adult life. They are quite simply amazing and give me so much joy.

I didn't feel any particular urge to have children. Then I found out I was pregnant (erratic cycles, so around seven weeks) but miscarried a few days later. The sudden rush of grief was a bit of a wakeup call. We went on to have two DCs who have been the love of my life since they were born.

Haha I actually think tiny tears was one of the early experiences that put me off 🤣 that gaping daft mouth! The nappies!

What an interesting thread.
I got married at 24 and just assumed we would have kids eventually. I never felt any desire at all though really, so don't understand these descriptions of 'must have baby now.'I guess it is mostly hormonal ?
I was on the pill, then had a coil after that.
At a check up I was told that it had come out so I hadn't been protected for 2 years.
I began to think then that there might be a problem.
Long story short I got pregnant at 28, but lost it at 12 weeks, and never got pregnant again.
I feel a bit flat about it really.
Maybe some people just don't feel it.

@Mukey is this satire or are you on crack?

Instinctual in that I always knew I wanted them, but also a choice in that husband and I discussed it throughly beforehand - the love I have for my kids is overwhelming, so I think that makes the hard parts (and there are lots - sleep!) manageable and gives so much joy to the lovely parts!

It was a conscious decision to come off contraception and see what happened. I was fine either way, DP always wanted to be a Dad.

I expected parenthood to be hard, and it is! It’s exhausting, relentless and intense, but my daughter is the most wonderful little person and I can’t imagine this world without her now. Every misstep and mistake I ever made took me to her.

I think it was instinct for me, I'd always dreamt of having a big family since I was a small child, incredibly maternal and always wanted to be in a care giving role. I reached mid 30s childless and was convinced it was too late, it broke my heart as it was the one thing I felt like I desperately wanted. Luckily I met my partner at 35 and we went on to have our 13 month old son, our daughter is due in July next year and whilst it isn't the huge family I thought it would be, I feel like the luckiest person in the world to have been able to still have two children. I've never been happier in my entire life and the year with my son has been more amazing than I ever thought it would be. I've never been so content and at peace in all my life ❤️

I've always wanted kids in theory, but have PCOS and always thought it would be difficult if not impossible without medical intervention.

When my best friend had a baby, I was in my early 30s and just married, and broodiness really hit me like a tonne of bricks. I can only describe the intensity of the feeling as like having a really huge crush on someone. It was always on my mind and I just really felt my body and mind were urging me to get pregnant.

Like a crush, if circumstances had been really wrong I would have done my best to fight the broodiness, but I was generally in a good position to have a baby and so, kind of miraculously given the PCOS and the very irregular cycle, I fell pregnant 6 months after I got married. I now have two children, aged 2 and 5 and it is hands down the best thing I've ever done.

Like Mrs Terry Pratchet, I absolutely didn't. But when I met future DH he wanted a family with me, and I believed he would be a good dad (having had one myself I recognised the signs).
So we did, 1 of each. They are the lights of my life and I love the bones of them, and their children.
Best decision I ever made.

I didn’t give it any thought until I was about 40. Before then I was more interested in travelling the world while I was still young and energetic.

Once I hit 40 I thought it might be nice to try and have a child. I gave birth at 43.

I wouldn’t have changed anything although I am aware that statistically I could well have ended up childless.

I didnt. I never wanted children. I now have two adult children and they are, and always have been, the lights of my life. I was never particularly worried about having grandchildren either, but my grandchildren are so very important to me.

I always loved babies, was very maternal with my little siblings as a child and teenager. It was something I dreamed about and just always deeply wanted.

Because I loved children and always knew I wanted dc and to be a mum. Also when we married, we wanted to make a new little person that was part of each of us. We loved each other and wanted to create our own little family
My ds is 19 now and he's a fantastic person, we're so proud of him and he has been a joy from Day 1. Motherhood has been all i imagined and more. I feel like it's a privilege to have a child. .We are close and we will always a strong, lifelong relationship with our son.