No contact from gf over Christmas until post with another guy

[EagerRubyCrow]

Hi just had a pretty awful Christmas from my own point of view. my girlfriend was at her parents for or Christmas. we often communicate via emails or posts on social media. first thing Christmas morning I post a Happy Christmas to her I received nothing back. I know she was going to her parents, life's quite difficult with them so I can imagine if she was ridiculously busy looking after them preparing dinner a may not have had much time but the days went on and four or five days later still I'd heard nothing. the next time i saw anything of her online she was out with a guy I didn't know in a photo in his post. I looked through some of his public posts I could see that they spent more time together a couple of days before, not romantically, and through most of Christmas and Christmas Day had been interacting on social media just small comments and likes and hearts. I brought this up with her the other day about how upsetting it was not to receive something from her and the fact that the first thing i saw of her over xmas was her with someone else. She roundly had a go at me saying why do I have a problem with her being with a friend and his kids. I asked directly if something was going on. I'm pretty sure there isn't. I told her how I felt irrelevant and she had a massive go at me about how hard her life is, and it is, but I still feel so diminished that I've been made to feel that I am wrong. She can't seem to understand why I'm upset. At the very least it would be nice if she'd laughed off the suggestion that she was upto something and called me a prat and made light of it. But simply no acknowledgement or understanding of why I may be unhappy. It's like I'm not allowed feelings myself because she is having a hard time.
I can't think of any other couple who wouldn't also be upset about being ignored by their partner on Christmas Day Like This and then subsequently seen them out with another unknown person? I think she's highly offended that I saw all these interactions between her and this other guy and that I'm in the wrong for prying into them. I don't really know how to re establish contact. Should I expect an apology or best not bring it up?

Sounds like she is gaslighting you into making a decision to finish rather than do it herself. I'm not one to be tied to the phone several times a day, but a call on Christmas day especially would be normal. Likewise unless it is a really new relationship, to take you with her to parents.

You communicate via email or SM posts? Why not phone calls, texts or something like WhatsApp?

How long have you been together?

I'd be spectacularly unhappy if my b/f didn't text me, let alone call me, on Christmas or even afterwards. Especially if he could find time to be out with other people.

I don't think your relationship is going to last the course. It's really not good.

I suspect she’s using her parents as an excuse. Nobody is too busy to send a quick text and you’ve seen she’s been on her phone a lot…
Not to mention having time to go out with a man.

End the relationship. It doesn’t sound like it’s much of one anyway.

Doesn't matter how long you have been together that is cruel how she has treated you.

She's stuck at the moment living in an abusive situation with an ex where she can't have my name popping up on her phone, or he goes nuts. She can't freely visit me at the moment.
We've been together a year but the exs behaviour has caused extreme stress on her.

This relationship gets stranger and stranger.

I'm sorry, but I don't think she is your gf. You're an affair at the very most.

I know it does sound odd. But the way things are at the moment is to get her through a few months until she can escape.

That's a bit unfair. It's hard for some people to escape domestic abuse. She's not been involved with the ex for a few years. Just live in same flat.

Yet she isn't afraid to have photos etc up online with someone else? 🤔

You've only been seeing each other a year, it isn't worth this stress.

I actually saw them before she knew they were up. I warned her and she got other guy to remove them (and thanked me for it).

She escaped long enough to get out and about and be posted all over social media though.

Seems legit.

Sorry OP but this doesn’t add up. Why is it taking so long to leave her ex if they are platonically sharing a home? How come she’s able to go away for days at a time and appear on SM with someone else if he is dangerously controlling?

I mean escape permanently. She can leave the flat, go to work etc, visit some friends (except me due to ex behaviour). He previously suspected I was involved and we don't want him coming round causing problems.

1. Money

1. She doesn't go away for days. Goes out and back home same days.

Why would you still need to communicate via email or social media when she wasn't even with the ex and was at her parents over Xmas. Have you met her friends and family? Do you live near each other and go out and about together?

How many times have you actually seen each other?

He sometimes gets invited to Xmas still to keep the peace. It's sh!t, bizarre, I know

But you said away 5 days at Christmas? If she’s staying for the money that’s not the same thing as planning to escape an abuser.

Sorry, she wasn't staying away 5 days. Her parents are close.

I would steer well clear of this woman if I were you.

Me too. She doesn’t treat you well and is living with her ex for no good reason, it seems. But

I know it's not brilliant but she's so stressed and struggling with everything going on in her life I feel like I just have be supportive and cause no more grief.