Colleague has thrown everything away that was on my desk

[WinkyTinky]

Back to work after Christmas and a few weeks off sick, to find that one of my colleagues who sometimes works at my desk has thrown away all of my papers. It was mostly handwritten notes about kids' appointments, my holiday plans, lists of things to remember about school, school calendars, and my eldest son's GCSE timetable. It was all personal sentimental stuff that I liked to have on my desk to see and remind me. I asked where it all was and he said that he has "got rid of all the crap." I'm really disappointed and a bit furious actually, but he thinks it's all perfectly fine. I know I'm a ridiculous softy about a lot of things, but this was MY stuff.

That’s awful, he should have just put all your papers in a folder.

Well who do you (both) report to? this guy is a colleague but not your boss - so discuss with whoever owns the company.

Moreover TELL the prick that what he has done is absolutely unacceptable to have done what he has done and he is NOT to touch your stuff, use your desk under any circumstances ever again. If HE has an issue with this, HE can take it up with the management/HR. The fucker

Then so the same to him - bin his "shit"

Pretty obvious. What other reason would he have to deliberately try to upset the OP by doing something spiteful like that.

If no HR, escalate to the boss in writing, detailing the using the ladies toilets and graffiti as well if not done already.

What a nasty piece of work. He seems to be targeting you deliberately. How long has he worked there?

In fact if there’s no HR or clearly defined manager, I’d have ripped the nasty scumbag a new one myself and then escalated to whoever hires and fires.

😲 You have a sleeping bag in the office? Is this a joke?

Surely if it was in his way, he would put in a drawer? He is an arse.

There are no managers? It’s a completely non-hierarchical structure?

Yes, I agree, I have a clear desk as that is the way I like it but the desk is assigned to me so if I happened to leave a post it note or two on it and found them in the bin, I would think that's pretty rude. Recently, i have become aware of my chair being a different position and my screens being moved and my colleague told me that a new employee that only works in the office 5 hours a week has been sitting at my desk, she should actually be sitting near her line manager but she prefers our office as it is quieter. It is definitely not her desk though and I would be annoyed if the post it notes had gone in the bin! I am slightly annoyed that I have to readjust everything tbh especially as she shouldn't even be in our office but at the end of the day it is work and I don't own the office.

YANBU
It sounds like he is trying to assert himself/ ‘marking his territory’ in inappropriate ways and you are the latest target. I hesitate to suggest this, as I hate confrontation, but you need to say something. To avoid him choosing you as an easy target again you’ll need to make clear this is not to happen again.

no manager? no business owner? are you a co-operative?

If it’s your desk, you do what you want with it.

If it’s mainly your desk but there’s an understanding that he occasionally hot desks on it, you still did nothing wrong, providing that you didn’t literally crap up the whole desk. If someone is using your desk occasionally, it is polite to keep it neat and tidy, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have anything on there. It just means that you eg keep your papers in a neat pile rather than having them spread all over the desk.

honestly even if you had crapped up the whole desk with your papers, it’s not that hard to just put the papers neatly into a pile on the side of the desk, so it’s still a dick move on his part to bin it all. Yeah, it’s a bit rude to crap up the desk with stuff, but it’s ruder (and actually potentially dangerous) to bin it. You could have had important work stuff in that pile, he didn’t know! If I was feeling malicious, I’d report him to HR for potentially destroying important work materials, or even just for destroying your property.

sorry you have to work with this bastard.

Does everyone else dislike him as much as you?

If so I'd grass him in to my manager for every little thing he has ever done. And say it appears to be ramping up and is getting out of hand. He needs to stop his bad behaviour, which feels misogynistic and bullying and it's starting to affect staff. Including me. And needs something done.

That way if others feel the sane it can't be seen as let's sack her as a troublemaker. It will be more let's address his issues.

He sounds like a right prick. Using the ladies loo as and when is a dealbreaker for me. Prick.

I feel you! I had a sentimental foreign film poster on the wall beside my desk (I was there for 17 years!) I came back from maternity leave to find a newcomer had taken it down and binned it. I was livid.

Call his bluff and say he threw away something work related and important. And tell him you will report him to HR.

But tbh I would never leave anything on top of my desk, even work related - not just because it can get thrown away, but also because I hate other people nosying around my stuff. All of your paperwork sounded really personal, were you ok with people looking through it while you were away?...

I understand OP, he could have put your paperwork in a drawer.
I think you need to talk to him about this.
I would be really upset too

Is there a chance your notes are still there, in paper recycling bin? (if you have one)?

DeliciousApples · Today 13:38
"Does everyone else dislike him as much as you?
If so I'd grass him in to my manager for every little thing he has ever done."

The OP said at 12.44 "To everyone advising complaints to management/HR, there is no such thing here."

I'm guessing warehouse or portakabin set up - construction industry, perhaps?

Well they were a total dick for binning it rather than putting it in a box on a shelf for safekeeping but why are you keeping all your personal and life admin in your workspace?

If it is a small mobile office on a building site (or something similar) then having your personal stuff lying around while you are away is even more reckless. Though OP did say she was ill - perhaps an unexpected illness - still, she could have called a colleague and asked for her notes to be put away.

You don’t need your kids exam timetable on your desk six months before the bloody exams

💀

Well OP, now you know what sort of a colleague he is and to take more care around him in future.

He could have made his point by putting all your papers in a file in a drawer, throwing the stuff away is nasty.