Colleague has thrown everything away that was on my desk

[WinkyTinky]

Back to work after Christmas and a few weeks off sick, to find that one of my colleagues who sometimes works at my desk has thrown away all of my papers. It was mostly handwritten notes about kids' appointments, my holiday plans, lists of things to remember about school, school calendars, and my eldest son's GCSE timetable. It was all personal sentimental stuff that I liked to have on my desk to see and remind me. I asked where it all was and he said that he has "got rid of all the crap." I'm really disappointed and a bit furious actually, but he thinks it's all perfectly fine. I know I'm a ridiculous softy about a lot of things, but this was MY stuff.

I think "reckless" is a strong word. Although never leave what you'd not be prepared to lose, of course. Or be wrecked by an cockwomble with previous form

I agree you shouldn't have had this out while you weren't there but your colleague still shouldn't have binned it. He could have asked you to move it or put it somewhere else. Very rude!

Maybe you are right and I am being dramatic, but this sort of personal stuff - kids full names, DOBs, other details - can be misused by someone, and I would actually feel creeped out if someone random read my personal notes. I bet this twat of a colleague went through them before he binned them.

Just curious and not sure if this is relevant - but what's the mix of men to women where you work? And what do the other women keep on their desks?

Most people have some personal odds and ends on their desk or in drawers, or pinned to a board.

It is nobody else's business to be throwing those things away. I'd be livid.

If I were you OP, I would email this person and tell them how cross you are that they threw your notes away, they had no right to do so, and that they are never to touch any of your personal belongings ever again. Copy it in to your boss, his boss and HR (if you have one).

Sleeping bag, gosh.

Every time he gets up to go to the loo, chuck out anything on his desk and pour his cup of tea down the sink. You’re just helping to clear up….

I’m surprised your workplace doesn’t have a clear desk policy, it’s more common than not.
Love a bold “citation needed” statement like this. How on earth do you know? I’ve never worked anywhere with one.

From this update I'd tell him straight not to touch your stuff again and to sit elsewhere. I'd also tag on that he's not to use the women's bathroom again if you'll have to escalate it. He's a prick

I've never had reason to ask anyone to put my stuff away when I've been off, I trust everyone to just leave it. I've left bits of money on my desk with no problem, even significant money when I've had collections for staff leaving, no problems. And even though this person has a track record for nasty or weird behaviour, I was not expecting this. He's been here as long as I have, and is seen as a bit of a golden boy as he is the only one here who knows how to repair the machines. Of course, he could train others to do this, but he won't. He has handed in his notice several times but has always been persuaded to stay because of this, so he pretty much holds the company to ransom. Everyone is quite suspicious of him, and the women in particular (only two of us left now) don't like him. But I will not be driven out of a job I like. I can put up with him. Yes it is a construction/engineering company, but not a portakabin, just a cold office which is now freezing with the heating being off over Christmas. The heating was also off for a week in November so I brought a sleeping bag in to cover my legs. It really is bloody freezing. As for the hierachy, we have a frankly mad owner who is ruining the business and will probably in the end cost us our jobs. The managing director is never here as he looks after other companies so we just get on with our work ourselves. In any case, he thinks the sun shines out of this man's arse.

So very rude, and he could have easily put them in a drawer and hold you where they were. What a twat.

He shouldn’t have done it.
Start by sneakily throwing away his stuff

We had a clear desk policy at work but it was regarding anything work related. There were checks made after work that nothing work related could be found at our desks and if so it was declared a legal incident and a black mark against you. Personal stuff was OK to have on your desk. Management were known to have personal stuff including framed photos.

I have an empty 2nd drawer down. I decant the desktop contents (paperwork MY stapler, and a few other bits and bobs) into 2nd drawer down every night. We have to leave it clear for the cleaner.

Your company sounds like fun! I guess a specialised subcontractor?

I'm familiar with this type of set up... there is nothing you can do in this situation. I think you just need to cut your loses and in the future be a bit more careful with your stuff. I would also look for a safe opportunity to do something equally "helpful" for your colleague, but its just me, I'm vindictive.

I find both his behaviour and some of the comments on here not having a problem with this a bit odd. If it needed to be cleared wouldn't most people have stuck it all in a manila folder and put it in a drawer? I wouldn't dream of even going through it to assess it unless there was something work related that I thought may only be in hardcopy that I was looking for.

However, it probably wasn't appropriate to have all this personal admin stuff out on your desk in the first place - it somewhat makes it look like you were doing other stuff on work time, even if you weren't. We've all spent tea breaks and lunch breaks planning holidays etc but most generally don't advertise that to anyone passing your desk.

As for the update saying you've previously left significant sums of money out on your desk, that's just bonkers: however much you trust your colleagues, if you're being entrusted to handle a leaving collection etc that money is effectively given to you on trust and you are responsible for it, it needs to be locked away in a drawer. You really cannot be that trusting: I once had a mobile phone stolen off my desk by someone who had wandered in off the street and had tailgated through several fob-entry doors when the whole office was in a team meeting. I never left anything unattended on my desk in any job ever again when there wasn't a colleague I trusted in the room to watch my stuff.

Based on everything you've said about your workplace, I get now how him throwing your rubbish away when it was in his way seems outrageous to you, but I'd say a lot of how it runs is out of the ordinary.

Most people would never leave large sums of money on their work desk or take a sleeping bag...

Sorry, but I’d go to HR about this. He has tampered with and disposed of your personal property. Am pretty sure that’s a criminal offence, let alone a disciplinary one.

I’d be livid, not saddened. What if he’d decided to throw your personal work notes away too? Honestly, I think you need to file a complaint.

How on earth are you still working there!

You are worth more than this crap!

Leave, and find the people that appreciate you

Ok based on your last update (I'm familiar with that environment), I don't think that complaining about him is going to help. Don't compare your desk with the other men because it doesn't count. Best thing is to take better care of your stuff and be as professional and as indispensable as possible - much more than your colleagues. Crappy but that's how I think it is.

I worked in 1 place like this out of many workplaces throughout my life. Even that office gave it up when they decided not to go for a certain ISO certification. It was quite inconvenient anyway.

And actually, even there, it was only work things that had to be kept in the drawer. A personal note would have been fine as no work confidentiality issues.

Not sure you'd be able to prove it's a criminal offence as he'd just claim he thought the notes were old drafts that didn't need to be kept.
Better to have it out with him directly.

Well then that is unacceptable

I would let it go but I certainly wouldn't forget.

I'd be keeping notes on him. It will catch up with him in the end.