Colleague has thrown everything away that was on my desk

[WinkyTinky]

Back to work after Christmas and a few weeks off sick, to find that one of my colleagues who sometimes works at my desk has thrown away all of my papers. It was mostly handwritten notes about kids' appointments, my holiday plans, lists of things to remember about school, school calendars, and my eldest son's GCSE timetable. It was all personal sentimental stuff that I liked to have on my desk to see and remind me. I asked where it all was and he said that he has "got rid of all the crap." I'm really disappointed and a bit furious actually, but he thinks it's all perfectly fine. I know I'm a ridiculous softy about a lot of things, but this was MY stuff.

This, personal clutter is annoying

That isn’t the same as sharing a desk.

Oh wow, Mr Clean thought he was doing you, and him, a favour cleaning up your desk while you were away sick?

I suppose he must have read through eat little notes too, to know if it was to be considered out of date and therefore rubbish?
I guess it would be too much for him to even think of putting them aside, if out of sight, for you when you returned?

Is it your desk, or just shared occasionally?

Well too late now to get the notes back, but I'd be annoyed too that he touched my personal property and chose to dispose of it on his own.

I'm like that too, I have little notes from my DCs, sweet little notes that are sentimental, I keep them in the pages of my cook books.

Sorry OP I am not a ridiculous softy but I think this was over the line by your colleague so you are definitely not being unreasonable.

If he didn’t like it he could have put it in a pile and or put it in your drawer. It isn’t his decision about what is important or not.

Having said that, it is a work desk so that kind of stuff shouldn’t be out and on view anyway .But that’s not his decision to make and to enforce a clean desk policy if your company has that.

I would make it very clear to him to keep his hands off your stuff.

Go about replacing your paper notes as accurately as you can. Take a photo of them too. Add a written sign...
If I'm away sick no one is to throw away my crap. You may pop it into my drawer, if it is in your way.

And clear his desk into his drawer every time you see him gone from his desk for the next little while.. Show that you can touch his stuff.

Just because it's a workplace doesn't necessarily mean that you can't have any personal belongings/notes on show.

Why is it any different to chatting to colleagues about your holiday plans or personal occasions? Both the OP's notes and personal conversations are only unprofessional if they interfere with or take precedence to your work.

We spend such a lot of our lives at work and I think it is unrealistic and undesirable to have a complete separation of work and personal lives. Generally people are more productive employees if the workplace is a pleasant place to be rather than being sterile, impersonal with no room for anything other strictly work-related activities.

(Obviously there are some exceptions for health and safety reasons but this is not what's going on here)

Every workplace is different. I would never have personal notes on my work desk, but is that normal where you work?

I have, as you’re the one who bullishly quoted me to state his actions are inexcusable. In a workplace setting, how can that not mean disciplinary/policies at the workplace?

I think that some on this thread have failed to note that you were off sick before Christmas and have gone back to work to your appointed desk to find many of your notes removed.

Whilst I work in a clear desk office, which also hot desks, I am also one of the few who has a designated desk and have given very short shrift when someone has used my space or taken stationery items from my desk. If reminders were removed, I would not have been happy!

I imagine the Hot Desk and OP is stuck in old ways of having her own. She said he sometimes uses the desk, not just a one off, so yes I would class that as sharing desks. What would you say it is?

You must be fun at parties.

he chucked away personal items. What those items are, is immaterial. Next desk along has betting slips etc. Why didn't he throw those away?
Because he was using OPs desk. But he didn't need to bin them, he could have put them to one side and not been an arsehole about it.

It's not rocket science.

Office battles rarely end with a clear winner. Play the long game, get on with your work and if he is as bad as you say he is, sooner or later he will hang himself.

There is a significant gap between “You shouldn’t have done that” and disciplinary action. If you really are a senior manager, you should know that.

Explain why you think it’s acceptable for a colleague to remove and destroy material from another colleague’s allocated desk.

When I was working in an office, some colleagues had heaps of clutter or personal items at their desks. I can't actually imagine even touching or moving them never mind binning them. That is so beyond out of order.
He sounds like an absolute horror from your other posts.

He’s clearly a misogynistic arse, maybe an incel considering he takes over the ladies loo when he feels like it, and writes graffiti about someone’s chest. As you have no HR you and the other women should feel free to deal with him, although you surely must have a boss or a team leader you could report him to?

I imagine the Hot Desk and OP is stuck in old ways of having her own. She said he sometimes uses the desk, not just a one off, so yes I would class that as sharing desks. What would you say it is?

OP confirmed it was her desk and he was just using it to pick up some of her work as she was off unexpectedly with flu.

Unless your company has a clear desk and/or a desk sharing/hot desking policy, he had no right to do that. You should complain to your manager as he sounds like a twat who did it on purpose to upset you.

Is your working desk a place for personal things?

She also said he sometimes uses it in he OP. Which means it wasn’t just a one off. I know what I believe - I’m not going to blindly assume the OP is telling the whole truth just because.

He did it to get back at you for having to cover your work while you were off sick, banking on you not making a fuss.

This is bullying and you should absolutely raise it with HR.

I don’t think I’ve ever worked anywhere where people DON’T have a few personal items on their desk.

A few bits of paper on someone’s desk would not be issue enough to make a normal person gather them up and put them in the bin when they could see they were personal notes, working there or not.

How on earth have you come to that conclusion? 😂 she’s already said there’s no HR.

“Imagine” is certainly the word here…

OP said her colleague may have had to use her desk to cover some of her work. Maybe that means files were saved to that machine rather than a shared drive he could access. Maybe a licence for particular software was allocated to that machine; or maybe it was simply only installed on certain machines. It’s not uncommon.

”Shared desks” implies a regular, ongoing arrangement, and nothing the OP has said implies this is the case.

I sometimes use my colleagues desk when they're sick. We sit in groups of four so that's just more practical. It wouldn't occur to me to throw any of her stuff away but then I actually like my colleagues.
Also our company is very family friendly so having personal stuff on you desk is pretty normal.

He is totally in the wrong.

Even if there was a clear desk policy, which there was NOT, he would be wrong.

I have worked both systems, and even at senior partner level people would use my desk and never bin stuff.

I have NEVER seen a policy for clear desk which states other members of staff can enforce it. More like the management may clear it, more into a box, never a bin.