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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is strange from my neighbour?

470 replies

Pekitothebunny · 02/01/2025 10:43

This morning I woke up to a pack of Christmas cards that have been posted through my door. They are new Christmas cards, still sealed within their pack, unused. A note came with it saying “hi, it’s Janet from number 5. I bought these for you to send out to the neighbours next year”

Huh? Why would anyone do that? She’s isn’t my direct neighbour, she’s like 4 houses down. We don’t speak or have any kind of relationship. However, since we moved in a few years ago she has always sent us a Christmas card, and I assume she sends them to everyone on the street. We don’t bother with Christmas cards and never send them out. Could it be that she’s offended that we never send cards so this is her not so subtle way of hinting that she will be expecting a card from us in 2025?? Why would anyone care so much?

Im planning on just throwing the cards away and ignoring it. Would anyone else find this weird?

OP posts:
Starseeking · 02/01/2025 17:05

That's a very strange thing for her to do.

I would definitely give them back to her making it clear you don't send physical Christmas cards, otherwise you might find yourself receiving a new box of cards every year with a ruder message each time!

NovemberMorn · 02/01/2025 17:10

OneBadKitty · 02/01/2025 13:44

Why are the 'I don't send cards' brigade always so smug about it as if they are breaking ground in some way? I especially dislike the big announcements on social media about how they are not sending cards and donating to charity instead- it's just lazy and it's always people who could afford to send cards as well as donate to charity at the same time.

I agree.
I always think it a bit iffy when people have to announce they are giving to charity instead of ...whatever.

Just give, no one else needs to know.

Twototwo15 · 02/01/2025 17:10

Return them with a note asking her if she can fill them in and post them for you as well.

TheyCantBurnUsAll · 02/01/2025 17:11

Send her one every month?

Ariela · 02/01/2025 17:11

I'd pop them back with a note to say 'thank you for the thought, but we don't send cards instead we donate to xyz charity'

NovemberMorn · 02/01/2025 17:14

User860131 · 02/01/2025 13:38

It isn't 'escalating' the situation it's making a very clear statement to this silly cow of a neighbour that you're not going to be pushed around. I know this middle class hyacynth buquet type well. They're uncivilised bullies in their own way. They're just perhaps more subtle about it than people who are less economically advantaged. However they feed off people not challenging their awful behaviour. 'Escalating' it would be going over there and shouting at them or putting the cards through a paper shredder and posting the bits through their letter box or slashing their tyres. What I suggested is just letting them know you've got their number as politely as possible IMO

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I think your reaction would be extreme..".Write note stating that you don't post Christmas cards, that you find her behaviour very passive aggressive and that you won't be intimidated into destroying a tree for her"

And how daft you would look if the poor woman had simply pushed the cards through the wrong letterbox.😁

LuluBlakey1 · 02/01/2025 17:14

NameChanger91736 · 02/01/2025 15:48

I hope that judgments spreads towards other things too then, do you buy everything you own from shops that support charitys?

I hope with that judgement you arnt buying brand new clothes, pots pans ect, towels ect and are getting everything from shops that support charities

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I have not bought anything new in the last two years. I buy everything- apart from underwear - secondhand. Not just a charity thing but an environmental choice.

JohnTheRevelator · 02/01/2025 17:38

How odd! I'd just post them back through her door!

SpanThatWorld · 02/01/2025 17:38

BoudiccasAxeWound · 02/01/2025 13:57

Ha ha! That is very passive aggressive and verging on communism.

Reminds me of someone I know - but really do not like - who was desperate to get a key regional job that came up for grabs. The first interview went OK but he was narked that the process in front of the executive board took too long and there were other candidates there. When it came to second interview he thought he would 'impress them' by showing where they might improve their hospitality in the company. He strode in, with trays of sandwiches and drinks and said "Right, this is how you look after people you value..." plonked the trays down in front of them and proceeded to pour drinks for them all. They laughed him out of the room.

Verging on communism???

Seriously. Words have specific meaning. Use them with care

Funkyslippers · 02/01/2025 17:43

NovemberMorn · 02/01/2025 17:14

I think your reaction would be extreme..".Write note stating that you don't post Christmas cards, that you find her behaviour very passive aggressive and that you won't be intimidated into destroying a tree for her"

And how daft you would look if the poor woman had simply pushed the cards through the wrong letterbox.😁

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Hardly likely. The neighbour is being purposely nasty

Nikitaspearlearring · 02/01/2025 18:08

viques · 02/01/2025 11:22

I think most people would do something similar, but this is mumsnet where all neighbourly relationships have to be approached as though the neighbours are Mr and Mrs Atilla the Hun,Mr and Mrs Ghengis Khan, Mr and Mrs Dracula and Vladimir Putin at number 27 who has three allocated parking spaces but still parks his tank on the road.

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Do you live in my road?

NovemberMorn · 02/01/2025 18:33

Funkyslippers · 02/01/2025 17:43

Hardly likely. The neighbour is being purposely nasty

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Very probable, but possibly not.
Why be deliberately nasty back anyway....she hasn't hurt the OP, she has just acted very oddly.

Surely the best thing to do would be to deliver the cards back, explain you don't need them because you don't send cards (or whatever) and thank her anyway.

Invisiblyill · 02/01/2025 18:50

Yogibearspicnic · 02/01/2025 10:48

Wait for next year and write them all back to her. Post one a day through her letterbox until used up.

This is brilliant!

LittleMG · 02/01/2025 18:54

You could write every one of them out to her and and send a note saying here’s your cards for the next 10 years ya cheeky bitch lol

Isthisit22 · 02/01/2025 18:56

Tink3rbell30 · 02/01/2025 10:52

Its polite to send a card back, no excuse not to.

what?
why should she? It’s not her fault someone keeps putting unsolicited mail through her door. Should she buy from every junk mail selling leaflet that gets put through her door too?

SnowLeopard5 · 02/01/2025 19:21

Haha how passive aggressive. Send them back and say you don't believe in sending Christmas cards as it's wasteful and not good for the planet!

Poodleville · 02/01/2025 19:38

Hilarious!

Scentedjasmin · 03/01/2025 10:22

You MUST not throw them away!! What you should do, however, is send her them back (the exact same card every year). That will wind her up even more to think that she has paid for her own card.

ridl14 · 03/01/2025 10:59

Pekitothebunny · 02/01/2025 10:58

By our house number “hi number 11”

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That is honestly mad she doesn't even know your name but expects a card 😂

maddening · 03/01/2025 11:04

I would either pist them back with a note that you don't send cards as per pps.

Or write them all to Janet and family and put Xmas 2025, Xmas 2026, Xmas 2027 etc on the envelopes and post them back to her as a batch so she has them in advance for the foreseeable

JessicafelloffTheKnappett · 03/01/2025 11:59

ridl14 · 03/01/2025 10:59

That is honestly mad she doesn't even know your name but expects a card 😂

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Maybe it's the only way she can think of to find out OP's name 🤪

Unrelated38 · 03/01/2025 12:03

I actually love her for it. I'd give just her one every year

wellington77 · 03/01/2025 12:07

That is hilarious!! Wow, this woman really has more time on her hands than she knows what to do with it. I’d post them back, saying she can use them as you don’t send anyone cards, especially passive aggressive people

EmmaSmiff · 03/01/2025 12:19

NovemberMorn · 02/01/2025 17:10

I agree.
I always think it a bit iffy when people have to announce they are giving to charity instead of ...whatever.

Just give, no one else needs to know.

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A district councillor makes this announcement every year, claims they have donated to charity instead of cards. Always a generous donation too. One year he made the mistake of declaring he has donated £500 to the a school within the districts PTA. Except he hadn’t, the Treasurer went on his post to ask him to check where he had sent the money as none had been received. It was months before they got the money, and it was strongly suspected that he hadn’t given any money at all to any of the charities he declared he had. Makes me wonder if there are some people claiming they donate but actually don’t.

NovemberMorn · 03/01/2025 16:40

EmmaSmiff · 03/01/2025 12:19

A district councillor makes this announcement every year, claims they have donated to charity instead of cards. Always a generous donation too. One year he made the mistake of declaring he has donated £500 to the a school within the districts PTA. Except he hadn’t, the Treasurer went on his post to ask him to check where he had sent the money as none had been received. It was months before they got the money, and it was strongly suspected that he hadn’t given any money at all to any of the charities he declared he had. Makes me wonder if there are some people claiming they donate but actually don’t.

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Probably, they want the kudos more than they want to help....pathetic.