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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this is strange from my neighbour?

470 replies

Pekitothebunny · 02/01/2025 10:43

This morning I woke up to a pack of Christmas cards that have been posted through my door. They are new Christmas cards, still sealed within their pack, unused. A note came with it saying “hi, it’s Janet from number 5. I bought these for you to send out to the neighbours next year”

Huh? Why would anyone do that? She’s isn’t my direct neighbour, she’s like 4 houses down. We don’t speak or have any kind of relationship. However, since we moved in a few years ago she has always sent us a Christmas card, and I assume she sends them to everyone on the street. We don’t bother with Christmas cards and never send them out. Could it be that she’s offended that we never send cards so this is her not so subtle way of hinting that she will be expecting a card from us in 2025?? Why would anyone care so much?

Im planning on just throwing the cards away and ignoring it. Would anyone else find this weird?

OP posts:
Comedycook · 02/01/2025 10:45

That's hilarious. How incredibly passive aggressive!

TheFlis · 02/01/2025 10:45

It’s a very unsubtle hint that she thinks you should reciprocate and send her a card. Weird behaviour.

Why would you bin them though, that’s such a waste! If you don’t want to use them, donate them.

Dfg15 · 02/01/2025 10:45

I'd be very tempted to put them back through her letterbox with a note saying that you don't send cards to anyone, so will not need them to send to neighbours.

WaitingforStrike · 02/01/2025 10:46

I like her style! Has it never occurred to you to send her one back, in the years she's been giving them to you? Good manners surely.

takealettermsjones · 02/01/2025 10:47

I'm a bit impressed by the sheer brass neck on her! I would absolutely knock on, look her in the eye and hand them back. Cheeky mare.

Pekitothebunny · 02/01/2025 10:47

WaitingforStrike · 02/01/2025 10:46

I like her style! Has it never occurred to you to send her one back, in the years she's been giving them to you? Good manners surely.

No, because I don’t send Christmas cards and I don’t know her. It’s up to her if she wants to keep sending them to me

OP posts:
Ladybyrd · 02/01/2025 10:47

She sounds 🦇💩. You could always wait until ahe goes out and post them back with a note saying we don't do cards.

Hoardasurass · 02/01/2025 10:47

Don't throw them away put them back through her door with a note saying no thanks

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 02/01/2025 10:48

I'd take them back and hand them to her with a firm stare and tell her that I make a charity donation rather than sending Christmas cards.
She'd have to have balls of steel to counteract that .

Yogibearspicnic · 02/01/2025 10:48

Wait for next year and write them all back to her. Post one a day through her letterbox until used up.

Pekitothebunny · 02/01/2025 10:48

TheFlis · 02/01/2025 10:45

It’s a very unsubtle hint that she thinks you should reciprocate and send her a card. Weird behaviour.

Why would you bin them though, that’s such a waste! If you don’t want to use them, donate them.

Oh yes good point, I will donate them. It is a shame to waste them. Or I might see if someone else that I know wants them. Of course I could just use them next Christmas and send them out… but I don’t want to

OP posts:
OurDreamLife · 02/01/2025 10:48

Probably bought a load of packs on sale and posted through a few doors.

Onlyvisiting · 02/01/2025 10:49

That's hilarious, it's a very unsubtle hint that you should give cards to your neighbours.
I'd return them back through her door with a cheery note along the lines of
'Thank you so much for thinking of us, however we don't do Christmas cards at all as feel they are a waste of resources and bad for the environment, we prefer to spend time with the people we are close to in person so no need for cards'
Or something like that

Brefugee · 02/01/2025 10:50

that's really funny. I'd just bin them if you don't send cards, or give them to a charity shop or just post them back with a note saying "thanks, but i don't have a need for them"

While i think it's polite to reciprocate christmas cards, i don't send them either. Some people send them to me every year anyway, other's don't. I always thank the people who do. If i had been sending a card to someone i barely know for 5 years (clue: I wouldn't) i would have stopped by now if they had never sent me one.

Happyinarcon · 02/01/2025 10:50

I find this difficult to believe. The Xmas card debate has largely been a fake online chat bot issue.

TheignT · 02/01/2025 10:51

I'm a wimp and send cards to neighbours who send me a card. Two of them are horrible and were really nasty when we moved in, DH thinks it is due to his colour as they have been nice as pie to two all white families who moved in after us.

I wish I had your backbone, maybe I will try it next year.

Onlyvisiting · 02/01/2025 10:51

WaitingforStrike · 02/01/2025 10:46

I like her style! Has it never occurred to you to send her one back, in the years she's been giving them to you? Good manners surely.

If you give someone a card 2 years running and they don't reciprocate the 2nd year then it is totally on you if you are daft enough to continue and be offended.
Loafs of people don't send cards any more, they are pretty pointless.

jay55 · 02/01/2025 10:51

Post them back with a note saying you're Jewish/buddist/pagan

Jolietta · 02/01/2025 10:52

Just return them saying that you don't send Christmas cards. Why make a drama out of it?

Tink3rbell30 · 02/01/2025 10:52

Its polite to send a card back, no excuse not to.

Bessica1970 · 02/01/2025 10:53

I’d post them back through her door with a note:

Thank you for thinking of us. We, however, don’t send cards as we believe they’re bad for the environment - instead we make a donation to an environmental charity to make up for some of the damage done by card sending.

We don’t judge others for sending cards though, so I’m returning these do you can get some use from them.

Pekitothebunny · 02/01/2025 10:53

Jolietta · 02/01/2025 10:52

Just return them saying that you don't send Christmas cards. Why make a drama out of it?

There’s no drama. As I said I was planning to just ignore it and get rid of them. But wanted to know if it’s just me that finds it strange behaviour

OP posts:
tilypu · 02/01/2025 10:53

I would absolutely return them explaining that you don't send Christmas cards.

Personally I would tell her something like that I find the environmental impact of something so short lived to be wasteful and frivolous. Try to 'outshame' her, as that's what she is trying to do to you.

Pekitothebunny · 02/01/2025 10:55

tilypu · 02/01/2025 10:53

I would absolutely return them explaining that you don't send Christmas cards.

Personally I would tell her something like that I find the environmental impact of something so short lived to be wasteful and frivolous. Try to 'outshame' her, as that's what she is trying to do to you.

Yes this is a good idea. I feel a bit bad giving them back though as she’s spent her money on them. Although it looks like they might just be cheap ones from a charity shop so I’m sure it hasn’t broken the bank

OP posts:
ThereIsIron · 02/01/2025 10:57

If you don't know each other how does she address you on your card?