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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Aibu to think skiing is not an essential skill!

253 replies

Clickoclock · 01/01/2025 01:45

My brother & his wife hate skiing but bring the kids once sometimes twice a year as they think it's an essential skill for their children to learn.. aibu to think this is ridiculous & it will never, ever come in useful in adult life!

OP posts:
TickingAlongNicely · 01/01/2025 07:10

Of course it isnt essential. Some people enjoy it. Many don't. Also that little thing called Brexit has ruined quite a lot of those "job" opportunities.

Swimming isn't actually essential either. Water safety is.

Chickenwhine · 01/01/2025 07:11

I (working class northerner) learnt to ski when I was moving to London to work for a posh firm. They did an annual ‘firm ski trip’. It was hard being a new skier but would have been career suicide to be a non-skier.

(yes the firm was full of dickheads and I was never going to fit in and I no longer work there)

FeegleFrenzy · 01/01/2025 07:12

Your brother and SIL probably think it’s a class marker and are maybe worried if they can’t ski then as young adults they could stick out amongst their peers (depending what social circles they move in). Certainly all the vaguely posh people I know can ski…..sadly I had to learn as an adult. 😁

BeeLight · 01/01/2025 07:12

Being devil’s advocate, it’s probably in the same ‘recreationally fun’ category as swimming. Mners like to behave as if swimming is a crucial safety-related life skill, but the fact is that most people who drown can swim, and that doesn’t save them. Swimming is likely to be a skill mostly used on holiday/for recreation, in reality.

Anycrispsleft · 01/01/2025 07:19

It's more about networking with posh British who go on skiing holidays than it is about integrating into countries where they ski, I would imagine - I have a fairly decent job in Switzerland and I don't ski and nobody cares. The culture in Switzerland is very much that work and free time are separate.

whippyskippy · 01/01/2025 07:20

Of course it isn’t essential. However, growing up skiing is a marker of affluence (in the UK at least… less so if you live an hour away from the mountains) and comes with some cultural capital that can come in handy in certain situations. It’s nice to be able to join in conversations about it when they crop up and participate in the fun when groups of friends go. I expect that’s what they’re getting at?

User37482 · 01/01/2025 07:34

I went skiing as a teenager and definitely couldn’t afford to do it afterwards. Definitely intending for DD to give it a go, it was really fun and she’s quite sporty so I think she’ll enjoy it.

It’s definitely not essential but I do like the idea that DD can join in with any activity she wants wherever she is. I can’t swim so I dread anything that involves any kind of swimming or water. I’d like her to be able to just say yes to everything. I do wish it was cheaper though, it is bloody expensive to learn and maintain as a hobby. I know people on mumsnet argue with this but it is expensive, especially if you are just trying it out to see if you will like it.

exprecis · 01/01/2025 07:34

Nn9011 · 01/01/2025 01:58

It's not necessarily a skill in the sense of writing or reading, but it is definitely something that will help them depending on where they want to work or if they're trying to better themselves through moving to a higher class or having wealth when they're older. In some circles it's very much about where you winter or where you ski or knowing about where the places are to ski, that's really like a cultural capital in itself and gives you sadly, respect or being seen as from a a certain class in life. If they can afford it, and they have certain aspirations I would let them have at it. Certainly wouldn't be my idea fun but two each their own I guess!

I was going to say exactly this - my parents are not posh but sent me to private school so I ended up with a lot of posh friends. It sounds and is ridiculous but I was a bit left out because my family don't ski.

My two best friends used to go skiing together with their families and I couldn't. Similarly some of the guys I dated at university asked me to go skiing and it was awkward that I was a beginner. Some of my close friends still do an annual friends skiing holiday which again I feel left out of.

It's definitely not a "life skill" but if you are or want to be in some circles it does help because - while not impossible to learn as an adult, it does really really help to do it as a child.

standardduck · 01/01/2025 07:46

I grew up near mountain resort and learnt how to ski at 3, as did my siblings and cousins. For us it was kind of essential as that's what majority of people do here in winter, so if we didn't ski we would be quite isolated from friends and school trips.

I live about 2 hours away from the nearest ski resort now and I'll definitely want my DC to learn (as long as they don't hate it ofc).

But I don't think it's an essential life skill, especially if they don't enjoy it themselves.

NetZeroZealot · 01/01/2025 08:15

It’s not essential but is a very useful and can be hugely enjoyable.
I learned at 16 and never progressed beyond competent but our DC learned from the age of 5 and are now very good.
Both have done post-uni ski seasons working in ski resorts, one now works in a city an hour away from the mountains and can ski at weekends when he wants.
It is the basis of a healthy and very enjoyable group or family holiday and does not need to be expensive.
And it is certainly no longer the preserve of the elite any more than a summer holiday in Spain which can be as cheap or grand as you want.
Definitely a very useful life skill and one that is much easier to acquire when you are young and fearless.

rozziee · 01/01/2025 08:26

Maybe if you leave in Norway or something it’s a particularly useful skill but if you’re British, no.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 01/01/2025 08:28

I would much rather have learnt as a child than in my 30s but no, of course it isn't an essential skill.

LlynTegid · 01/01/2025 08:29

I wonder whether they are a couple who go to a resort say in the Alps and never speak a word of the local language. I wouldn't call learning say French essential, but it would be higher up a list of desirable things than being able to ski.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 01/01/2025 08:30

LlynTegid · 01/01/2025 08:29

I wonder whether they are a couple who go to a resort say in the Alps and never speak a word of the local language. I wouldn't call learning say French essential, but it would be higher up a list of desirable things than being able to ski.

I've never met a French ski instructor or resort worker who didn't speak excellent English, but outside the context of skiing this is an excellent point.

Dobbythechristmaself · 01/01/2025 08:31

What if one wanted to become a secret agent? How would they escape down the mountain while being shot at from a helicopter if they can’t ski.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 01/01/2025 08:33

Dobbythechristmaself · 01/01/2025 08:31

What if one wanted to become a secret agent? How would they escape down the mountain while being shot at from a helicopter if they can’t ski.

Are we assuming that all secret agents wear shoes which magically transform into skis in case they happen to be on a mountain being shot at from a helicopter?

sloecat · 01/01/2025 08:34

ASeriesOfTubes · 01/01/2025 02:54

Six Nations time soon. Love it.

Lots of things aren’t essential but they improve a child’s dexterity, balance, confidence, sociability and so on. So in a way they are essential life skills. My friend’s daughter spent all her childhood years going to drama classes at great expense. She’s never acted in a thing since but she does have the ability to speak confidently and with authority. It is also great if your child has a passion for something, skiing is just as good as anything else. I loathed it though.

stayathomer · 01/01/2025 08:36

When you think of it swimming isn’t either, I mean we all act like we’ll really need it one day but a lot of us never have the need to get into the water ever! In laws’ kids ski a lot of winters and my mind is blown by them, I think like learning anything new it probably does give them something, not necessarily anything more than any other sport/ game or craft but leave your brother off, he’s just proud

Dracarys1 · 01/01/2025 08:36

BeeLight · 01/01/2025 07:12

Being devil’s advocate, it’s probably in the same ‘recreationally fun’ category as swimming. Mners like to behave as if swimming is a crucial safety-related life skill, but the fact is that most people who drown can swim, and that doesn’t save them. Swimming is likely to be a skill mostly used on holiday/for recreation, in reality.

Sorry but this is ridiculous. If this were really the case why do schools make swimming part of the national curriculum from year 2 or 3? I don't believe skiing is on the national curriculum. Swimming is an essential skill (and I can't swim by the way but my children are in weekly lessons). Skiing is fun but not essential.

BuzzieLittleBee · 01/01/2025 08:37

It is 100% not an essential life skill. But as an adult who learnt in my mid 30s, I think it's a brilliant thing to be able to get them on skis young. Learning as a child is way, way easier than learning as an adult. If the kids enjoy it, and have the means to do it later in life, they will be so grateful they learnt early.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 01/01/2025 08:37

sloecat · 01/01/2025 08:34

Lots of things aren’t essential but they improve a child’s dexterity, balance, confidence, sociability and so on. So in a way they are essential life skills. My friend’s daughter spent all her childhood years going to drama classes at great expense. She’s never acted in a thing since but she does have the ability to speak confidently and with authority. It is also great if your child has a passion for something, skiing is just as good as anything else. I loathed it though.

The thing with skiing is that it's a once a year thing though.

So if funds are limited, surely it's better to spend the money on a hobby your child can do once a week throughout the year.

If funds aren't limited, knock yourself out, I guess.

I do love skiing and will take my children in a few years if we can afford it, but in terms of hobbies which will give them confidence and improve their physical coordination, I think the regular hobbies will have more impact.

Postchristmasblah · 01/01/2025 08:42

Skiing, like sailing, horse riding, tennis, foreign travel (not just package holidays) and arts exposure is great cultural capital. Swimming used to be like this, but thankfully most children do learn to swim now.

It’s not only the wealthy that do these things, but they give you a way into conversation that means you can ‘pass’ as MC whether you are or not. I grew up on a council estate and studied class and culture for my MBA, and this kind of stuff really does matter still for ‘fitting in’ and career progression.

I skied for the first time last year, DH is an accomplished snowboarder, but I never could afford it (didn’t get on a plane until I was in my twenties). We’ve waited for our kids to be 10 and 8 to go as a family and they will be decent skiers, even if I might never comfortably get off the bunny slope. I take my hat off to your brother, I’ve realised that if you don’t have at least one skiing parent then accessing ski holidays is so much harder. I like skiing because I’m useless which means that I can do minimal parenting on the slopes, so for me it’s a week pottering on skis and enjoying the mountains.

U53rName · 01/01/2025 08:42

YABU for starting a thread about someone else’s holiday choices. Once you get confirmation that “you are right,” what will you do? Show this thread to DB and SIL, to prove your point? You’ve already voiced your opinions, yet they still choose to go for their holidays. It’s their choice, not yours.

Expletive · 01/01/2025 08:42

NotThisOldChestnutAgain · 01/01/2025 02:18

It's not essential but is a great skill to have especially if you move ( or want to) in the type of circles where skiing is an annual holiday.
If they're thinking of relocating to Scandinavia it definitely is an essential skill.

Downhill skiing? I would have thought cross country skiing skills would be more appropriate.

Heatherbell1978 · 01/01/2025 08:43

I love skiing and used to be quite accomplished in my day but haven't been since having kids as it's just so expensive and we'd rather do a sun holiday if we can only afford one.
Sounds like a friend of mine who also skis and for years has dragged her partner to the slopes who hates it and now her kids who also hate it. But she lives her life like a middle-class playbook, doing things that she perceives middle class people do even if they have to scrape the money and don't enjoy it.
He doesn't think it's a life-skill, he thinks to keep up with the Jones it's the 'done thing'.

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