for not getting in the least bit fed up with moaning about our friends' wedding abroad

[Moomin]

Have griped about it on several threads now but it's still winding me up. One of dh's best friends is getting married in FRance in August. There is no way on earth we can all afford to go there even though they have offered to find us free accommodation for a week. TRavel alone is twice what we were planning to pay for our UK holiday. So me and the dds aren't going.

However, dh has been asked to be witness/best man and he doesn't want to let his friend down as they are very close. It's still costing £250 in travel for dh to go for 3 days. and we are skint. Dh has said he will pay for it himself (even though he has paid for my 40th treats in June himself as well).

Insult to injury - one of their gift ideas is to contribute to a website that offsets carbon emissions!!! !!! (although to be fair they have said they really don't mind if no gift is given at all).

Why on earth do this wedding abroad if they want so many friends there? I would be embarrassed to ask my friends to come to my wedding abroad as I'd know how pricey it was. They're not particularly well off either - just think they've got carried away with the romance of it all.

I do feel like a bitchenvixen being so snipey about it, but it's also getting on my wick, knowing how much dh is paying for this.

Happy days Upwind & Scienceteacher- you are welcome to come up with an alternative cost for us!
Flights need to be to Perpignon. WE live in midlands but will be in Bournemouth at the time if its just dh going, so have costed flights from Southampton. Wedding is 50 miles from Perpignon and if he catches train that's the nearest big station. Wedding is 12th August. But please note - long car journeys are not what I consider to be acceptable for my own holiday - just my personal preference. and remember that we need 4 places for flights, as the dds are 6 and nearly 3 (at time of flying).

50 miles in which direction? Perpignan is only about 100 km from Girona and 150 from Montpelier, both of which have cheaper flights to them than Perpignan has.

I bloody love wedding threads

Not to speak of the suggestion poor old Moomin and her kids say hey ho, no holiday for us this year but who cares, someone else will have a fabulous time at our expense...

Perpignon is where a lot of the groom's family are flying to and can give dh a lift.

Anyway it's not going to happen. We've had a hassley year this year and I just don't want any fannying about this summer, so it's just tough. Dh and I were laughing about it today when we realised the nearest we've got to a tent is the dds' Disney pop-up castle.

Yes...actually, if we sleep in the Princess castle, then all get on dh's back as he swims the channel (he being the strongest swimmer) and then we unicycle down to the South from Calais, stopping a maximum of 15 times and we just eat grass, I reckon we could just about manage it. Why didn't I think about that before?

THanks for the suggestions anyway!

Message withdrawn

did i miss something i think you're being a bit mean, clearly you don't want to drive but people are trying to give you ways to go to the wedding, which is what you sounded like you wanted to do. I don't understand the references to camping either

how are they 'giving me ways' to go to the wedding? LOL!

I'm getting married abroad next month. We worked out that our wedding budget could pay for a wedding in this country & honeymoon. OR we get to go abroad with close family (about 15 people inc. DP and DD) for the same cost. So we're paying for everyone to have a week away too.

We're having a reception back where we live, for friends, when we get home.

My only compromise was that I'm not having my two best friends there.

And Cod turned down my invite too

Even aside from moomins dislike of long car journeys I don't think it's as cheap as some of you are suggesting.

Road tolls Calais-Perpignon are 68euros each way (around £80 both ways); ferry/tunnel crossing at least £50 return; car insurance for used abroad, probably around £30; petrol will be huge as it's 700 miles each way Calais-Perpignon, so around £90 at 30mpg (and this ignores the UK leg of the journey); Nightstops will be around £40 per night (with food on top); you should probably get some travel insurance for the family which adds about £20.

That all comes to about £350 before you've added anything like food, cost of extra bits for the car like headlight deflectors, fire extinguishers etc. that are a legal requirement over there and there could be passport costs for the family too for all we know.

So I'm with you moomin, I think YANBU to feel the way you do, esp about the carbon offset thing, though I do think it's their perogative to have the wedding they want as well, but have to accept not everyone can go.

Must just add a counter- at Eddas's one to me for the 'camping references'. Do I have to pretend to like camping now?!

This thread has been entertaining and informative if nothing else! Top and bottom of it is we won't be going en famille; dh will; b&g will have a fabulous time, natch, and hopefully they won't be upset that we not all going (doubt they'll be crying into their pillows with a wedding to organise!)

my was because no-one suggested you camp. i hate camping.

I think you are rude and tbh wish i hadn't bothered with the whole thing. I thought you wanted to go to the wedding, if you don't i fail to see your gripe.

Crunchie said "Personally I would go and mke it a family holiday, camp ensoute for a night, fee accomadation ehen you get there, you could probably fdo the weeks holiday for less than £500 and SE France is really beautiful"... so I was responding to that suggestion.

Why are you getting so defensive? What does it matter? Sorry if you think I've been rude - it's maybe a bit OTT to take it all so personally though, maybe?

I had a "gripe", which I'm perfectly entitled to have; it's been dicussed; I've seen a fair few suggestions, considered most of them and decided which are do-able and which not. I didn;t ask for any posters to find a way to enable me to go to the wedding in actual fact. I was saying that there are going to be other guests who won't be able to go to the wedding due to cost / lateness of arrangements, etc and it's a shame because the b&g were wanting a big wedding, but I was also a bit with the b&g for being a bit unrealistic about it. It's not worth getting humpety about -life's too short