Ate two whopper burgers, hid the bag in the bin

[Sadcrimboisover]

Me today and it was great 🍔

Finally house to myself for a few hours. Special offer of two for one burgers from Uber eats. Ate them whilst watching crappy Real Housewives of Cheshire
Then shoved the bag to the very bottom of the bin
No one will ever know

Oh my, I have never ever ever thought of ordering in just for me and eating it on the QT. - why the fuck not?

Ok so now Im rural, we dont have uber or whatever they are, but I was a Londoner for 45 years and not once did it dawn on me

I feel deprived in some way

....
"Oh darn it and fiddle sticks, we're completely out of encabulator fuel... I'll just pop out to Reisses Encabulators for a flaggon.... No no no, it's fine, you stay there, I won't be long..."

Then fill yer boots on Gregg's...

🤪

I always hide the evidence when I have a sneaky takeaway to myself

Oh thank you thats the next category

'creating fantasies out of OPs life that dont exist'

I have a friend who used to 'go out and do the Tesco shop' having already done it online and booked a Click And Collect.

She used to go to the drive through and sit in her car in peace with food, coffee and a paper for half an hour then just nip in and pick up the shopping order at Tesco on the way back 😊👍

I routinely hide the evidence when I have a sneaky takeaway - it’s part of the buzz 😂

On the first day that the kids go back to school, and dh is at work, I’m planning on driving to McDonald’s and getting myself 20 chicken nuggets and a banana milkshake and eating it on my own in the car whilst I listen to a bit of an audiobook. I’m absolutely buzzing

That is genius! and surely she could get away with a good hour or so

I see where you are coming from OP. If I wanted to order takeaway DH wouldn’t bat an eyelid, but then I’d have to share or reveal my exact (big) order. Before I go back to work and the gym next week I have this Friday all to myself and I am going sales shopping then for a sneaky drive thru - I’m looking forward to it as one last holiday treat! 🍔

I've never contemplated secret eating and hiding the evidence.

Now I am beginning to wonder if this is a me problem or a you problem.

DH is back in the office Thursday. DS is at holiday camp. I will be sitting in my house ALONE with a Dominos. I will also hide the evidence.

Why?

If I ate a pizza, I'd not need to hide the evidence. Nobody would give a fuck, they know how to buy pizza.

I think it’s obvious from this thread that some people (like me) get a little buzz from having a takeaway which no one knows about. And some people like you @AdventFridgeOfShame dont feel any desire for secret takeaways. And that’s ok, I don’t think there’s any deep meaning behind it.

I sort of agree and disagree.
I'm up for whatever you want, for lunch especially. Breakfast is whatever is in the house, dinner is whatever is cooked and lunch is a free for all. But the buzz from secret eating evades me.

Love a whopper, less so if I have to put effort into hiding the fact I've had one, or two, whatever. As long as you scratched your itch though, who gives a fuck.

The only thing I don’t understand about them and I always forget to ask them to add as extra, is why they don’t come with cheese?!

@Sadcrimboisover . I get a big mac meal with extra sauce, gherkins and onions. When they have the cheese melt dippers I get them too, if not its a mcchicken sandwich with extra cheese and mayo from the eurosaver menu and a coke.

I usually have it delivered by 12pm.

That's a great idea. (It's also quite sad that women - and lets be honest usually women and mothers- feel they need to do this in order to get some peace. )

Also to the people who ask about why secret eating.... if my situation is anything to go by I had an upbringing where my weight was monitored and there was alot of fat shaming. Food was 'good' or 'bad' or 'disgusting' and you were given the attributes of what you were eating. 'You are being good; You are being bad, 'You are disgusting'. Even now i don't like eating in front of other people- not even my own family. I am in a workplace now where the office culture is you work through lunch and eat at your desk and I can't manage it. I go and hide myself in another room.

That is a me problem. But when i buy a wonderfully glorious whopper or Big Mac i find i feel better about it if no-one knows.

They will smell that burgers have recently been in the house. Next time eat them outside.

I'd recognise the smell a mile away...

I did this ALL the time when my DC was small. As did all the other toddler Mums I knew. I don't think the husbands ever figured it out.

I always thought people who get McDonald's delivered were mental but i totally get this

That’s so funny.. bullshit bingo indeed..

It's not much to ask for - having something purely for yourself without somebody whining 'That's not fair, I want it too' - is it?

It doesn't have to be burgers, it could be snacks, could be your favourite bubble bath that's been discontinued bloody ex used it all specifically because it was mine, could be your special, medically required gluten free food at a buffet arsehole colleagues, your favourite mug, a jumper or a pair of cashmere socks somebody bought you for Christmas, it's that entitlement to something that isn't theirs that jars.