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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - golf?

59 replies

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 30/12/2024 16:20

(Lighthearted.)

Based on every single thread I've ever read which mentions a DH/DP playing golf, AIBU to think that you don't marry or have kids with a man who plays golf, and if your DH decides to take up golf, you divorce him pronto?

It seems like this activity was invented purely to enable selfish lazy men who aren't fit enough to do a real sport to avoid family life.

AIBU?

OP posts:
YouBelongWithMe · 30/12/2024 16:23

My husband plays golf, usually twice a week. One of these rounds is with his dad.

I have literally not a single issue with golf? Hasn't affected our marriage, gets him out the house, it's sustainable exercise, lets him have quality time with a parent, models healthy attitude towards having time for yourself.

What's the issue with golf for other people?

moonmaker93 · 30/12/2024 16:23

I know you say this is lighthearted, but how lighthearted exactly? Grin I think hobbies are great. I have my own!

Snowmanscarf · 30/12/2024 16:24

I thought cycling was the ltb sport. The Lycra outfits!

Businessflake · 30/12/2024 16:26

I actually think more women should take up golf. It’s a great way to be active and spend time outdoors with friends and family.

Golf isnt the problem. It’s lazy men that are the problem. They would find another way to avoid parenting.

Original poster
MissScarletInTheBallroom · 30/12/2024 16:26

YouBelongWithMe · 30/12/2024 16:23

My husband plays golf, usually twice a week. One of these rounds is with his dad.

I have literally not a single issue with golf? Hasn't affected our marriage, gets him out the house, it's sustainable exercise, lets him have quality time with a parent, models healthy attitude towards having time for yourself.

What's the issue with golf for other people?

There just seem to be so many threads started by women who are completely worn to a thread, never get any time off, and their husband is swanning about playing bloody golf.

OP posts:
frecklejuice · 30/12/2024 16:28

Husband plays golf, one evening a week and once at the weekend (normally a Saturday). I don't really have an issue with it and I like having free time to my self, he knows when he's been taking the piss especially in the summer and then will arrange something for us all to do. My kids are a bit older though at 10 & 16 so I don't need his help anymore.

BIossomtoes · 30/12/2024 16:29

My dad was the only married member of his golf club who was “allowed” to play on Christmas Day. I think my mum was glad to see the back of him.

YouBelongWithMe · 30/12/2024 16:30

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 30/12/2024 16:26

There just seem to be so many threads started by women who are completely worn to a thread, never get any time off, and their husband is swanning about playing bloody golf.

Show quote history

My husband always guts the house before he leaves and does the weekly shop on his way home on Sunday. It's delightful - I actively encourage it 🤣

tobee · 30/12/2024 16:31

It's not the golf it's the husbands.

Nespressso · 30/12/2024 16:31

It is a very “long” hobby, DH likes to warm up before, have something to eat after, and sometimes the courses are quite far away to drive. He is gone for over 12 hours today because he is driving 2 hours for a particular course.

the issue is fitting this around family life.

however, my hobby is horses so I don’t have a leg to stand on in terms of time or financial investment.

ohtowinthelottery · 30/12/2024 16:32

I don't think it's golf, per se, but men who think that their hobbies can take precedent over family life. I have friends for whom you could insert the words 'cycling' or 'tennis' into your hypothesis.

ShortyShorts · 30/12/2024 16:32

frecklejuice · 30/12/2024 16:28

Husband plays golf, one evening a week and once at the weekend (normally a Saturday). I don't really have an issue with it and I like having free time to my self, he knows when he's been taking the piss especially in the summer and then will arrange something for us all to do. My kids are a bit older though at 10 & 16 so I don't need his help anymore.

You mentioned the G word! 😲

NEVER mention the G word on here.

It's very outing you know. Literally everyone will know who you are now.

You might as well just post a photo of your passport and be done with it 😬

WhatFlavourIsIt · 30/12/2024 16:38

My husband plays golf, probably twice a week, weather permitting. Sat or Sunday, he stays at the club for a few beers. He enjoys it, and despite your little dig walking, 18 holes does give him a bit of a workout. I have no issue with him playing & getting together with his golf buddies.

Bjorkdidit · 30/12/2024 16:40

Businessflake · 30/12/2024 16:26

I actually think more women should take up golf. It’s a great way to be active and spend time outdoors with friends and family.

Golf isnt the problem. It’s lazy men that are the problem. They would find another way to avoid parenting.

And if they want or need something less active or fancy a nice sit down in picturesque surroundings, fishing is the perfect hobby for tired overworked mothers who need to disappear off for hours at a time. No need to catch any fish, wine and picnic compulsory optional.

asrl78 · 30/12/2024 16:42

The problem isn't golf, the problem is people neglecting their partners or family responsibilities. That can happen with any hobby. I suspect there are women out there who neglect their partners in a similar way, think OFAH, Rodney and Cassandra, where Rodney felt he had to say to his wife he would like to see more of her because she was always at work functions or badminton.

Panda89 · 30/12/2024 16:42

My husband plays golf, I have no issue with it! I sometimes play with him, it’s actually a really enjoyable and chill sport. He even sometimes takes DD7 round the local par 3 course and she loves it too.

I also play a sport which usually takes up 1 evening per week and 1 full Sunday a month plus a few weekends away per year so it’s give and take for us.

SummerHouse · 30/12/2024 16:43

What goes around comes around. My DP is well into golf and we now have two golf mad boys aged 13 and 15. He takes them at least once a week. It's fabulous. I don't like playing golf, but I love golf!

DP also goes with friends and I think it's good for the soul.

abracadabra1980 · 30/12/2024 16:45

Both my dad and mum played golf. It never caused any problems for them and if anything, enabled them to have lots of fun times together and with friends, right up until their late 70's.
There are also many women who are over the moon that their husband has got out of the house for a few hours!

Hufflemuff · 30/12/2024 16:46

Katherine Ryan made a really funny joke once about her husband being a golf twat - something along the lines of "ambling around a golf course in the pouring rain; for the amount of time it takes to drive from London to Carlisle just to avoid family life".

No but in all seriousness, my DH took up golf 3 years ago and plays down at a 9 hole course, he leaves at 7.30am to play at 8am so he's done by 10am and home well before 11. If he does 18 then he will be back at about 2pm - but he only does that occasionally. In summer he plays after work twice a week which delays him being home from 4pm to about 6.30pm. Its really not a big issue. Our DS started playing 3 years ago too and is at a great standard for his age, we hope to see him enter competitions soon. They now play together in the better weather. And they all lived happily ever after...

worriedMiL33 · 30/12/2024 16:47

I LOVE that he plays golf tbh, chill time for me.

Roll on the summer and all those wonderful golf comps (or 4) that will be available 😆

eta, daft emojis
🏌️🏌️

moonmaker93 · 30/12/2024 16:53

Nespressso · 30/12/2024 16:31

It is a very “long” hobby, DH likes to warm up before, have something to eat after, and sometimes the courses are quite far away to drive. He is gone for over 12 hours today because he is driving 2 hours for a particular course.

the issue is fitting this around family life.

however, my hobby is horses so I don’t have a leg to stand on in terms of time or financial investment.

I'm exactly the same! DH plays his own notoriously long hobby, cricket, but I'm preoccupied with the horses while he does so. Doesn't bother me and we still spend plenty of quality time together.

SleepToad · 30/12/2024 17:04

I am a bloke and used, until I started my own business, to play a lot of golf. The benefits are huge. Tell me another time a man has 4 hours to talk to his mates without alcohol being involved? Getting out in the fresh air, walking, moving the upper body...all things if your office based you don't do.

The talking side is important, men don't talk about emotional issued but when they are emotional about a bad or good shot because sport matters to men, they open up to one another.

we used to play every Sunday morning, sometimes just 2 sometimes 20 of us...home for 1 pm. In the summer one evening a month 4 till 8. All from the same office, often office issues were sorted on the course without rancor

KevinAndTracy · 30/12/2024 17:09

There are a few years when you have very young DC when a hobby like golf can be problematic but over the course of a marriage I would far rather have a fit and active DH who has plenty of hobbies and interests than one sho doesn't

ProvincialLady24 · 30/12/2024 17:12

It's not the Golf that's the problem - it's the hours at the club after.

Original poster
MissScarletInTheBallroom · 30/12/2024 17:12

SleepToad · 30/12/2024 17:04

I am a bloke and used, until I started my own business, to play a lot of golf. The benefits are huge. Tell me another time a man has 4 hours to talk to his mates without alcohol being involved? Getting out in the fresh air, walking, moving the upper body...all things if your office based you don't do.

The talking side is important, men don't talk about emotional issued but when they are emotional about a bad or good shot because sport matters to men, they open up to one another.

we used to play every Sunday morning, sometimes just 2 sometimes 20 of us...home for 1 pm. In the summer one evening a month 4 till 8. All from the same office, often office issues were sorted on the course without rancor

Thanks for proving my point.

The benefits for you might be huge. The problem with golf is that it so often seems to have a negative impact for other people in the golfer's life.

OP posts: