Can't help but be jealous

[Lemon92]

Im a single parent to one DD, she is nearly 5. Love her to bits but I do long for another DC and she wants a sibling too, she is always asking for one and she would love the company of a sibling. My Dfriend of many years is a single parent and has a 6 yr old, 3 yr old and a very new newborn. She is not with the girls father but she does go back with him to get pregnant so they all have the same dad and then they seperate when she gets the positive test. I can't help but be jealous in a way as I wish for more DC but I can't see it happening. I'm late 20s. Anyone know how I can get past this feeling?

Why don't you just invite friends for sleepovers? My ds often goes to a friend who doesn't have siblings for sleepovers. He's more than happy to leave his brother behind..

Surely this is a joke?
You'd be happy to find a person to mate with every few years, but not bother allowing them into the child's life.
Another set of kids without a father?
Your friend's attitude is disgusting.

Your friend is a dick, creating children deliberately to avoid work. And she's going to have a much harder life with 3 kids on her own than you will with one. Don't be jealous.

Be fair, she didn't say her friend didn't let the father in the children's lives.

She said they separate after the positive test, so yes, the sperm donor may be involved, but it doesn't sound like it.

Don’t have another child unless you can afford to support them without the need of benefits.

You're jealous of a single mother who returns to the father to 'get pregnant'. I suggest you aim a little higher, and appreciate what you've got. The grass always looks greener, often it's fake grass.

Indeed.
Some of us might as well be only children based on the siblings we have.

Not sure if this has been mentioned but there is a 2 child cap on benefits so your friend may be financially struggling if she has not made allowances for that.
Not child Ben

Or shopping for a new baby. It makes it sound like having babies is like buying groceries.

I just find the idea of it so distasteful.

She is not with the girls father but she does go back with him to get pregnant so they all have the same dad and then they seperate when she gets the positive test.

That doesn't sound like a situation to be jealous of; basically using the dad as a sperm donor. She isn't likely to find a fulfilling relationship with anyone else while she's returning periodically to get pregnant and in the long term, bringing up three children by herself is going to be a tough slog.

Op, your post about your friend made me feel queasy. Honestly, set the bar higher that is nothing to aspire to.

Could you ask your dds father for some sperm?

I wouldn’t be jealous of that op. Poor children, Daddy pops back to get mummy pregnant and then off he goes.

Surely you have other dreams?

If you got pregnant right now your dd would be around 6 years old when 'the sibling' was born?
When kids say they want a sibling they tend to envisage a ready made friend of their own age... that ship has definitely sailed for you as your dd will be too old to play and will have different interests to her toddler sibling.
Your friend is a chav (sorry, I know mn hates this word but it is a perfect description of this woman). I thought we had gone past the days of repeated breeding to avoid working and letting the taxi payer fund this 'lifestyle'.
I wouldn't be jealous of her, I wouldn't be able to be her friend though as I wouldn't be able to disguise my disgust at her life choices.

Gross. Your friend is a dickhead.

They get over it OP, DD15 used to say that a lot as a young child. Now she says she is glad. Most of her mates whinge about their siblings.

It's meant I can afford private school, good holidays etc only having one.

I'm a lone parent, can't imagine how challenging it would be with more than 1.

My thoughts exactly. Absolute nonsense post!

This!

You are jealous of someone who breeds like a rabbit? Where is your self respect?

The whole setup sounds utterly grim and dysfunctional.

Your friend sounds awful.
People on MN hate 'benefit bashing' but she's exactly what's wrong. The fact you can have a baby every 5 years and never need to work.

I've got 3 siblings and there's varying degrees of drama & stress involved now they're adults as well as when we were kids. We're all on a low contact break from each other atm if this helps. It's not all sweetness and light.

The world of mumsnet has opened my eyes to all sorts of behaviour but honestly your friend has left me utterly speechless.

Everyone knows relationships break down and things go wrong but to actively and knowingly not once but twice go to have another child with someone who you know won't be there for you.

Children are really expensive. To actively and knowingly have a third child when you are not working and cannot financially support them. It's unthinkable.

And then for op to be jealous of that set up.

Focus on your child, and making the best possible life for you both.

You are young, you may meet someone and fall in love and decide to have another child.

She is not with the girls father but she does go back with him to get pregnant so they all have the same dad and then they seperate when she gets the positive test.

Being jealous of this is wild.