Page 8 | My husband is acting is strangely

Deppcandouno · 2024-12-29T21:11:00+00:00

My husband is acting in a very depressive manner and is reading bizarre meaning into things like adverts. He is also saying phrases that don’t make any sense like ‘we need to level up like super Mario’ and expecting that what he has said is normal. He keeps disappearing to do household jobs and is gone for an hour but has no recollection of what he has been doing. He has said he is concerned about his mental health and feels he meets the criteria to be sectioned. What do I do? Pl ease help.

fridaynight1 · 30/12/2024 01:44

You absolutely can recognise you need help in the midst of a psychotic event. My DD called 999 on herself in a state of absolute terror.

YesIdolovehim · 30/12/2024 01:45

CrowleyKitten · 30/12/2024 01:35

it absolutely DOES exist. when people recognise they need that level of help.
wasn't the case for my husband, he was section 28, detained under the mental health act. can't remember the coding for it now, but voluntary sectioning IS a thing. or, at least it was in the late 2000s.

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What level of help are you talking about? That is not sectioning if people recognise that they need to go into hospital. From the NHS website, it is clear :-

Mental Health Act
In most cases when people are treated in hospital or another mental health facility, they have agreed or volunteered to be there. They may be referred to as a voluntary patient.
But there are cases when a person can be detained, also known as sectioned, under the Mental Health Act (1983) and treated without their agreement.

CrowleyKitten · 30/12/2024 01:47

Maurora · 30/12/2024 01:33

I really feel for you, the aftermath of psychosis and the side effects of medication can sometimes be as bad, if not worse.

It does take time and hopefully, over time he'll get better... The anxiety can be crippling for him but also devastating for you, when it interferes with the day to day, making memories and just going out to do 'normal' family things.

Sadly, sometimes it needs a realisation and determination from the individual to make a move upwards. Medication is just a sticking plaster and a holding pattern and can't be relied on forever, in some cases.

Local social hubs with like minded people, talk clubs for blokes and over time, light volunteering will help, with hopefully a reduction in medication to the point of not needing it, if the original stressors are no longer present.

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this was over 15 years ago. once the right meds were found, he plateaued, and has been pretty much on the same level ever since. any attempts to reduce or change meds and his anxiety gets a lot worse.
so I think where we are is probably our permanent normal now. but, at least he is himself again. during crisis he was so terrified and irrational.
there will be bad days, where he needs to stay in bed, or lie on the sofa rewatching comfort shows all day, and we sometimes need to cancel plans. but we do get to do things we like some of the time.

our reality has changed a lot since his crisis, but I wouldn't swap him for anyone, even if things aren't perfect, and never will be.

Lostcat · 30/12/2024 01:50

ThatKhakiMoose · 30/12/2024 01:41

He's wandering around outside in December while very ill. Does that sound like keeping him safe?

And yes, I've rung 111 plenty of times during my dad's two-year terminal illness, thank you, including when he was so confused he thought he was at an address where he hadn't lived for 60 years and when he thought I was poisoning him, among other things.

Since you clearly haven't dealt with this, as I can tell because you asked what they could do, I'll tell you: A nurse answers and they ask a bunch of questions. A LOT of questions. Depending on the nature of the illness, they either send an ambulance, go away and call a doctor and call you back with next steps, or tell you to get yourself or your loved one to A&E if that will be quicker than an ambulance. They let the facility know to expect you and what the problem is, so that they're ready for you when they arrive. If you can be seen at a walk-in clinic, they tell you which one to go to and they similarly inform the clinic.

They're pretty good when someone is seriously ill, like OP's husband.

I hope I've answered your three questions: The above is what they can do; yes, I have "rung 111 with this kind of issue;" and yes, I have "personally dealt with" something like this. Dad died a few months ago and mental confusion was part of his illness at both the end and in the summer of 2023. Happy now?

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Since you clearly haven't dealt with this, as I can tell because you asked what they could do

I’ve called 111 many times , including for a friend who was in an acute psychotic state.

They were useless. Basically told me I needed to call emergency services. Emergency services were even more useless - basically said they couldn’t help unless he started harming people. (Not before the police had a right go at him, however).

At this time of night and with a child sleeping at home, OP is not being unreasonable. This can wait until morning- unless it escalates.

wandering outside could just mean in the garden.
She does need to bring him in though and make sure he’s safe.

Also I’m sorry to hear about your dad x

Fraaances · 30/12/2024 01:51

I would be more scared of not calling 111. He doesn’t sound well, Babe.

Maurora · 30/12/2024 01:58

CrowleyKitten · 30/12/2024 01:47

this was over 15 years ago. once the right meds were found, he plateaued, and has been pretty much on the same level ever since. any attempts to reduce or change meds and his anxiety gets a lot worse.
so I think where we are is probably our permanent normal now. but, at least he is himself again. during crisis he was so terrified and irrational.
there will be bad days, where he needs to stay in bed, or lie on the sofa rewatching comfort shows all day, and we sometimes need to cancel plans. but we do get to do things we like some of the time.

our reality has changed a lot since his crisis, but I wouldn't swap him for anyone, even if things aren't perfect, and never will be.

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He's a lucky guy x

Although it took four years to recover from psychosis... It only took two years for infidelity to set in, sadly.

The original voluntary admission to hospital was discussed as being cheaper for the NHS as a bed was something like £2k per week, but they don't tell the family what sort of impact it may have when your loved one thinks Elon Musk is following them with Tesla's, the police are hiding in a van parked outside waiting to raid the house or constantly waking up thinking someone is breaking into the shed, and they are some of the tame intrusive thoughts.

Sadly antipsychotics and antidepressants were over prescribed to the point of not being able to feel. From CRISIS to GRIP, to the Adult Mental Health Team and then The Recovery Team and finally self-discharge to the GP after titrating down from high doses over a couple of months to no medication for over a year.

Wishing you both a prosperous 2025 x

MsAmerica · 30/12/2024 02:34

Deppcandouno · 29/12/2024 21:17

I’m scared of what will happen if I call 111

How about calling his doctor?

CrowleyKitten · 30/12/2024 02:40

Maurora · 30/12/2024 01:58

He's a lucky guy x

Although it took four years to recover from psychosis... It only took two years for infidelity to set in, sadly.

The original voluntary admission to hospital was discussed as being cheaper for the NHS as a bed was something like £2k per week, but they don't tell the family what sort of impact it may have when your loved one thinks Elon Musk is following them with Tesla's, the police are hiding in a van parked outside waiting to raid the house or constantly waking up thinking someone is breaking into the shed, and they are some of the tame intrusive thoughts.

Sadly antipsychotics and antidepressants were over prescribed to the point of not being able to feel. From CRISIS to GRIP, to the Adult Mental Health Team and then The Recovery Team and finally self-discharge to the GP after titrating down from high doses over a couple of months to no medication for over a year.

Wishing you both a prosperous 2025 x

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finding the right meds can be so hit and miss. we're very lucky that over the next few years from crisis, a combination that worked well for him was settled on.
I got him a toiletries bag for Christmas that says "all my fucking meds"
he's on
Clozaril (this was the game changer for him. I think it's expensive, as they tried LOADS of others first)
Clonazepam (for the anxiety)
Venlafaxine
Propranalol.

CrowleyKitten · 30/12/2024 02:43

Maurora · 30/12/2024 01:58

He's a lucky guy x

Although it took four years to recover from psychosis... It only took two years for infidelity to set in, sadly.

The original voluntary admission to hospital was discussed as being cheaper for the NHS as a bed was something like £2k per week, but they don't tell the family what sort of impact it may have when your loved one thinks Elon Musk is following them with Tesla's, the police are hiding in a van parked outside waiting to raid the house or constantly waking up thinking someone is breaking into the shed, and they are some of the tame intrusive thoughts.

Sadly antipsychotics and antidepressants were over prescribed to the point of not being able to feel. From CRISIS to GRIP, to the Adult Mental Health Team and then The Recovery Team and finally self-discharge to the GP after titrating down from high doses over a couple of months to no medication for over a year.

Wishing you both a prosperous 2025 x

Show quote history

oh, and I completely get the not feeling thing.
from my own medical history. I have depression, and on Prozac, I felt like I was watching my life on a TV. I felt nothing, and I hated it. when I needed meds for my anxiety, they suggested it, and I vetoed it on the spot. so they gave me sertraline instead, and I feel normal on it. a huge difference.

oakleaffy · 30/12/2024 02:58

GeekyDiva80 · 29/12/2024 21:19

One thing that stood out for me is him feeling like he meets the criteria to be sectioned. The reason for that is a friend of mine uses this when she's stressed out and wants a break from life. She books herself in and enjoys escaping for a few weeks. Baring in mind that the clinics she goes to are almost like 5 star resorts including daily massages. This is all covered by her medical aid.

The people I know who definitely do need to be sectioned are adamant they are fine and don't need help.

The person I mentioned who gets herself sectioned always acts strange beforehand to try and prove that she is going through an episode.

Just food for thought, and I mean no offence. I myself have been hospitalized due to a breakdown.

Sounds like you aren't in UK.

People with mental breakdowns/psychosis here probably get a bed on a crowded ward if lucky.

A friend I knew years ago was withdrawing off high dose methadone, was put in a ''mental hospital'' and discharged herself as it was so wretched.

Shared ward and the poor thing looked like a wraith after self discharge.

Certainly no holiday , and that was last century, when funding in England was better.

Ladyj84 · 30/12/2024 02:59

Your scared eh if that was my hubby saying he feels off, if he was saying and doing off things I would not hesitate at all to ring 111 or take him to a&e. For a man to say there's something wrong then there really is something very wrong. I would rather be scared and do all that than being told he has hurt himself or committed suicide or something. Sadly one of our neighbours recently lost a son of 34 and they chose to ignore him saying there was something wrong in his head saying he would get over it. A man who never had had problems before and very sadly took his own life several days after nobody took note and just joked he was having a few bad days. Please do something do not hesitate 🙏

FishOnTheTrain · 30/12/2024 03:10

I would go to the hospital asap. I know you do t want to disturb your son but your husband is really unwell. I hope it gets better for you soon, he needs to be in the hands of medical professionals

PivotPivotmakingmargaritas · 30/12/2024 03:32

Imperrysmum · 30/12/2024 00:18

Wow, you are really letting him down right now

And her DC down … if something happens to Dad your sons life will be a whole lot worse than loosing a little bit of sleep for one night…

GymBuffMum · 30/12/2024 03:36

I’d have definitely called 111 OP. Not sure what you’re scared of, he’s done nothing wrong! That behaviour is really concerning and he sounds concerned and is asking for help.

Is he appropriately dressed to be wandering about outside?

I hope he came back in and OP didn’t go to bed and leave him.

FrogPunkGirl · 30/12/2024 03:39

This reply has been withdrawn

Message withdrawn - posted on wrong thread

DrizzleTrip · 30/12/2024 03:39

OP I hope all is ok

FrogPunkGirl · 30/12/2024 03:41

Apologies wrong thread

sunshinestar1986 · 30/12/2024 05:19

GeekyDiva80 · 29/12/2024 21:19

One thing that stood out for me is him feeling like he meets the criteria to be sectioned. The reason for that is a friend of mine uses this when she's stressed out and wants a break from life. She books herself in and enjoys escaping for a few weeks. Baring in mind that the clinics she goes to are almost like 5 star resorts including daily massages. This is all covered by her medical aid.

The people I know who definitely do need to be sectioned are adamant they are fine and don't need help.

The person I mentioned who gets herself sectioned always acts strange beforehand to try and prove that she is going through an episode.

Just food for thought, and I mean no offence. I myself have been hospitalized due to a breakdown.

I agree 💯
I've seen quite a few mentally ill patients and they're all adamant that they are fine

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 30/12/2024 05:49

Deppcandouno · 29/12/2024 21:17

I’m scared of what will happen if I call 111

Sadly, not so much. Mental health is massively underfunded - and if your concern is about screeching ambulances and police vans pitching up and forcibly taking your husband away, that isn't got to happen

Objectrelations · 30/12/2024 06:12

At least he wants help that's positive

KikiandCo · 30/12/2024 06:22

Strongly suggest you phone the 24 hour confidential Maudsley helpline and they can talk you through your options / provide support. It is better that he gets seen now whilst he has some capacity rather than further down the line. Really hope everything works out for you both and you manage to get some medical support. I contacted the helpline when we had concerns about a friend’s mental wellbeing (paranoia / psychotic episodes) - the staff were wonderful.

VanillaVein · 30/12/2024 06:36

Deppcandouno · 29/12/2024 23:42

I’ll get straight onto it in the morning. He’s wandering around outside at the moment to no particular end. And yes, you can all exclaim that I should intervene now, but our son is asleep and I can’t drag him to an and e. He has asd and lots of sensory issues.

A particular end could be him ending up underneath a car. If this is even true you're allowing a mentally ill man to roam around outside unaccompanied in the cold of December and you don't really give a shite. Extremely neglectful of you. At least call an ambulance FFS!

VanillaVein · 30/12/2024 06:46

Lostcat · 30/12/2024 01:20

Omg people need to calm down with the abuse directed at OP!! First of all, do you have any appreciation of the state of mental health services in this country? I’ve called 111 and 999 before for help with a friend in an acute psychotic state and they were beyond useless- basically said there was nothing they could do unless he started harming people.

OP also has a child at home. I’m sure she will keep and eye/ ensure her DP’s safety tonight and she’s said she will seek medical help in the morning. This is a totally reasonable/ practical approach.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Theextraordinaryisintheordinary · 30/12/2024 06:48

Morning. Hope you’re ok. Did he sleep? How is he this morning? I’d call the GP first thing and get an emergency appt or go to A&E. You could tell your husband you’re worried he might have had a mini stroke and need to get him checked over. Well done for reaching out and trying to get this sorted. Hope you’ve got a plan now.

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 30/12/2024 06:51

Deppcandouno · 29/12/2024 21:17

I’m scared of what will happen if I call 111

But not scared of what might happen with no help? Call them. They can come to you if necessary in these situations.