5.5 year old gets up on own

[Jellyrose20]

I have a 5.5 year old. She often wakes up before us and our 6 month baby and comes downstairs on her own.
She has access to a healthy snack box and juice boxes. We've also prepped a kitchen area so she can make her own cereal/ cold drink if she wants.
Would you do this?
YABU - No I wouldn't
YANBU - yes I would

But what if they choke on a berry?

You can miitigate against risk but you can't eliminate it entirely in any situation.

If you're worried about berries, don't give berries. But choking risk by 5 is lower than at younger ages becaise they have learnt to chew and swallow properly by around 4. But that's where judgement comes in based upon the individual child.

Presumably you eat unsupervised? I've only.ever choked once and I was 46 at the time. What would you do if you choked and you were alone?

The point isn't to be reckless.

The point is that you create a safe environment for your childen through education and a carefully controlled environment that allows for them to recognise and identify managed risks but provides the opportunity to learn their own capabilities. That's not the same as putting them at risk.

I mean, I'd be happier with a well prepared 5 year old doing what the OP does than a child running round the playground with a lollipop in their mouth in full view of their parent or running with their hands in their pockets and i see both of those happening frequently!

Doesn't matter if she brushes before it after eating in the morning, as long as it's done at night and one other time.

Mine does this. I get up at 7, he gets up 5.30 to 6. If anyone thinks I am helping anyone "develop" at 5.30am they are incorrect!

No not at that time for that long.

I have a 3 year old and 5 month old. We all wake up the same time I get DS1 ready he goes down to play with toys only while I finished off getting me and baby ready and we head down for breakfast now more then 20mins max.

I would be worried about choking and chemical and sharpes etc.

I know a Mum who uses a camera. So he toddler can play downstairs in the lounge but visible at all times on the camera. But no way would I be sleeping whole a child is left unattended.

My parents always told us to stay in our rooms to play in the mornings. But 7am is a very reasonable time to be up and ready foe the day.
Once we were age 7/8 we were allowed downstairs to make our own food get pur water etc. 5 is waaaaay to young.

My DB choked on peanuts at age 5 and nearly died. He was unsupervised by the Nanny. He is very responsible and independent at that age but an accident is an accident.

My daughter did it from a similar age. Not cereal (glass milk bottles with difficult to use lids) but a smoothie carton and brioche or something. All was fine. She's now a very independent teen.

But the same is true at any age.

I'm sorry that happened and obviously glad he's OK!

But an 8 year old could choke. A 15 year old. A 50 year old...

Incidentally, I wouldn't have allowed a 5 year old to have peanuts because I was told as a child that, if you inhale them, they swell so that's an added risk. No idea if that's actually true or not! But mine didn't have peanuts until older.

But that's point. You can mitigate against risk but you can't eliminate it entirely. Life is risky.

I think it’s fine. I have very happy memories of getting up early when I was that age and even younger. I was the youngest child and it was the only time I could be alone. Even now (decades later) I love to get up before the rest of the family. For an introvert it’s a great way to recharge one’s energy.

At what age do children become a non choking risk? Or are you forever going to be hovering in close proximity in case a heimlich manoeuvre is required?

I think you need your wait until you have a 5 yo before you say it’s way too young. You currently are allowing your 3 yo to go downstairs by himself for 20 minutes. In two years you might well allow your DS1 to go downstairs by himself when he wakes up.

Your 3 yo, unsupervised downstairs for 20 mins, could choke, get his hands on chemicals, etc, every bit as easily as the 5 yo who goes down by himself for an hour or so. The only difference really is that most 5 yo have more sense than a 3 yo.

Though, don’t most houses with young children keep sharp knives and products contain chemicals out of reach in a high level lockable cupboard .

I can't get worked up about the theoretical risks of a kid wandering down to get safe foods and switching the TV on.

I'd listen to mine having lovely conversations with the cat as she fed her and then traipsed off to the sofa with a blanket and food to watch TV.

It was bliss after the first one with the SWAT team father and grandmother (never mind helicopters, they were far too far away) had learned that nothing can happen until Mummy's eyelids had been peeled back by the eyelashes at 3.47am.

I have teenagers. I’ve been there and done that. It was fine.

It isn't a huge issue, no, but best done before food in the morning rather than after.

I think this thread is very illuminating. There's growing evidence that the current culture that doesn't allow children to take age appropriate risks, is contributing to the mental health crisis among young people.

How does it impact developing children to have parents who convey that just spending time alone is dangerous, that they need interacted with constantly, that they will choke if they eat alone? I think some of you should reflect on this carefully, I know worrying about our kids is normal but suggesting a 5yr old can't or shouldn't get themselves basic snacks or watch tv/play alone for an hour or so - really unhealthy imo.

I used to get up aged six, make my own breakfast, and then go to school over ten miles away by bus all on my own.

Fine and really normal in my experience.

I don't know anyone who worries about their child playing or watching TV alone for an hour - either first thing in the morning, or lots of people have an hour of quiet time after lunch when their 3-4 year olds stop napping.

Yes, it's possible they will choke, fall down the stairs or set the house on fire but if you think they that you would never let your children do anything.

This level of over-anxiety as a current parenting trend is so unhealthy for children and mothers.

Some of you really need to look into the huge benefit of the Forest Schools which allow 2 and 3 year olds to chop firewood with axes!

What a ridiculous comment, they would always be supervised.

My two were only allowed downstairs if I was awake (even if I didn't get up) until the age of 7 or so. At 11 they were, and still are as young adults, capable and independent.

I do wish people would stop describing 5 yr olds as sensible. They really aren't.

I didn't leave food due to choking risk

I completely agree. I know that many parents think they are doing the right thing by not giving their children appropriate freedom and independence. But the long-term risks of restricting their development are far greater than the minimal short-term risks involved in allowing reasonable independence.

Totally fine in my opinion too, my DC have been doing this since similar age and bit earlier. Shock horror they also play outside with light supervision only. They need to be able to develop and thrive in all ways, me hovering over them 24/7 is not going to achieve that.

My comment was more about how the children approach risk and thenpsiitive impact of being exposed to risk than how well the acitivies are supervised.

I normally prepare some light snacks and ask my 6yo to come and eat in my room and watch the iPad through headphones. He is an early riser and I get to stay in bed but with my ears listening to what he is doing and eating fine without choking.

Each to their own but no bloody way am I leaving my 5 year old unsupervised for that long.

I encourage independence but not when I am in bed.

I truly hope nothing happens to your child during that 90 minutes. You would never forgive yourself.