5.5 year old gets up on own

[Jellyrose20]

I have a 5.5 year old. She often wakes up before us and our 6 month baby and comes downstairs on her own.
She has access to a healthy snack box and juice boxes. We've also prepped a kitchen area so she can make her own cereal/ cold drink if she wants.
Would you do this?
YABU - No I wouldn't
YANBU - yes I would

When my DC were that age I would have been happy if they were downstairs on their own for a short time,but this never happened as we have a security alarm and they would have been too young/short to use the control panel to switch it off.

Yes. If you wouldn't allow it, how would you stop it anyway? My youngest was an early riser and would take herself downstairs to watch telly quietly and eat cereal on the sofa (not allowed, but she did it anyway). This is a child who first made her way downstairs on her own when she was maybe aged 2, still in a sleeping bag and had to hurdle a gate on her bedroom door. I took the gate away and showed her how to take off her sleeping bag for safety because there was no stopping her. As for choking, cereal is not much of a hazard. If she was heading down to gorge on grapes and hot dogs I might have had a different view.
This is a school aged child in the OP's case. I think a bit of independence is a good thing.

Providing unsafe things lighters k Ives etc are out of reach and the snacks are low risk choking ie no grapes /raisins etc I'd say it's fine. Make sure they know to get you if there's a issue and keys are out of reach

It's totally fine and quite sad to hear that so many parents would crush their child's independence because of their own anxiety over choking, falls down stairs and any other catastrophe they can think of.

How old would she be before you she is safe to avoid choking?

I wouldn't have done this at 5.5 but thinking back to when I was a child my brother and me used to get up and watch kids tv when we were about the same age and nobody batted an eye in the 80s!
So I guess it's fine as long as you're absolutely confident she wouldn't decide to make toast and burn herself or something

That’s a good question. For me the bigger issue is neither interacting with their child for an hour and a half a day.

My DM let me join Brownies at 7 because they taught you to lay and light a fire. From being not allowed downstairs on your own to matches and fire lighting in two years is a big step.

I imagine today 7 would be considered young for matches.

Mine did this from age 4. We would leave out some cereal and put some milk in a metal jug in the fridge so they could pour it on. I think it is important to help children take small steps towards independence- otherwise they go from not being trusted to do anything to being expected to manage too much at once.

Do you not feel the ability to amuse yourself without parental interaction is worth cultivating?

@jingleberryalltheway may I ask what your concern is specifically around a child not being interacted with for 1/1.5 hours a day please?

Sounds fine OP, honestly you're the best judge and as you say she's sensible etc. I'm sure she knows she can come and wake you if needed.

I would wonder how they would feel. 90 solid mins is a long time in a young child’s eyes. They don’t have much time with parents at that age any way why wouldn’t you want to be positively interacting with your child, making them feel loved, developing their vocab and social skills, helping them develop and explore their interests rather than them just playing by themsleves for what is a big block of time.

My DD has done this from a similar age. She's nearly 7 now. Initially she'd wake up and bring her tablet into bed with me, snuggle and maybe have a breakfast snack in bed (she liked to munch on dry Cheerios). As she's got older she'll come to the living room on her own and put the TV on, play in her room, or maybe do some crafts. She's an only and a bit old for her age, though.

I put one of my college training videotapes on once to find 5 year old DS had taped over it so he could get up and watch Terminator every morning.

Ours did this from 5 & 3. Like a PP, we'd stopped DC1 from doing it as we didn't think we'd allow DC2 to do it but then we found him downstairs one morning eating his cereal in front of the TV with Rice Krispies all over the kitchen floor and him sitting on a dining room chair as he knew he wasn't allowed to sit on the sofa and eat so had dragged it through. We decided it was safer to let them go down together and set up some food so they could access it without making a mess. They'd usually come in for a cuddle first so one of us was semi-conscious at least but it was bliss to still be in bed.

Ds at 4yo would go downstairs in the morning, grab his ipad and a brioche and just get on with his day 😅. I loved it. Our house was fairly open plan at the time so we could hear him. He's not one of those children to open all the cupboards or try and stick fingers in the toaster etc (I hide his Xmas presents in his divan drawer, he's so easy in that way 🤣). If you think she'll be OK, then let her!

Nope. I have always got up with them all over the years. I wouldn't leave them downstairs on their own at those ages.

I would worry they could be touching stuff they shouldn't.

I wouldn't have done this. 5 is too young imo.

Absolutely not. And I am a relaxed, laid back parent.

Choking hazard.
Someone knocking the door
Falling/slipping
5 year old alone for an hour and half.

Absurd. I am shocked how many people think that is ok!!

Imagine if someone thing awful happened. Headlines would not read favourably on someone who has left a 5 year old alone for that long.

They don’t have much time with parents at that age any way why wouldn’t you want to be positively interacting with your child, making them feel loved, developing their vocab and social skills, helping them develop and explore their interests rather than them just playing by themsleves for what is a big block of time. But their not "just playing by themselves". They're learning the ability to amuse themselves, to self-motivate, resilience, problems solving.

Choking is really rare at that age, a knock at the door you'd hear (and if you lock the door at night and put the key out of reach, they can't open it anyway), falling you'd hear and deal with - and however much you hover you won't prevent falls.

We're not talking about the parents leaving the house for 1.5 hours.

Better to allow it with strict rules and taking precautions, than for it to happen without you realising.

It's not even early. Wy do you not want to get up with them?

Would you be happy for a childminder to leave your child in her home unsupervised while you take a nap? No of course not, so what makes your home so much safer?

Despite your assertion that she is sensible, she is not fine with chemicals, running water, electrical appliances, sharp objects, matches/lighter, cooker. If she has an accident and you are asleep, you cannot assist her.

She should stay in her room, with a snack, toys and books.

Ha, mine has done this since age about 4.5. He lets the cat in, plays, gets a piece of fruit, sometimes manages to spill cat food over the floor in an attempt to be independent and feed the cat (dry food), occasionally does something slightly cheeky like eating some icing off the birthday cake leftovers :) Sounds like a dream though to have a kid who is happy to be up for an hour before demanding attention!