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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think there is not enough disabled bays for how many badge users there are

313 replies

thecherryfox · 29/12/2024 09:00

I have been disabled my entire life, as a kid and even as a teenager getting access to a disabled space was a lot easier than it is now. I believe now with the intake of how many people can access a badge with many different conditions - the amount of disabled bays have stayed the same but the influx of badge holders have risen.

Between 2021-2022 there was a 25% increase in blue badge holders from the previous year, but there wasn’t a 25% increase in disabled parking spaces. It’s rising each year, but there is no increase in parking spaces.

I’m physically disabled and the difference between me not getting a close space often means I cannot physically go. I know people with ‘hidden’ disabilities like bowel diseases would feel the same about accessing a close space. I’m truly not blaming individuals for getting badges because if they at eligible they are entitled to one - but it’s within the government to know that an increase of blue badge holders should mean an increase of spaces for people to access.

OP posts:
RegulatorsMountUp · 30/12/2024 14:24

LadyKenya · 30/12/2024 14:20

Why the need to ask though? The poster has a BB, so that means that she has been assessed as being in need of one. There is no need to know anything more, unless the poster in question wishes to answer you, of course.

Exactly she doesn't have to answer but as I've already said its an anonymous forum I'm asking a question to be educated not attacked 🤷‍♀️ I just wondered.

EmmaMaria · 30/12/2024 14:24

RegulatorsMountUp · 30/12/2024 14:22

But isn't that the whole point of an anonymous forum so that things can be asked and answered without upsetting anyone. I have ADHD - don't really talk about it in real life but often give my input about it on here. Wouldn't be bothered if someone asked me questions about it etc. The poster I quoted doesn't have to reply but at the end of the day it was a polite anonymous question. Not sure why you're all getting so cross about it.

No that isn't the purpose of an anonymous forum. It is rude in any circumstance to question someones disability. If you want educating, google is great for that. This isn't AMA.

TigerRag · 30/12/2024 14:25

RegulatorsMountUp · 30/12/2024 14:24

Exactly she doesn't have to answer but as I've already said its an anonymous forum I'm asking a question to be educated not attacked 🤷‍♀️ I just wondered.

It came across as rather judgemental

EmmaMaria · 30/12/2024 14:25

RegulatorsMountUp · 30/12/2024 14:24

Exactly she doesn't have to answer but as I've already said its an anonymous forum I'm asking a question to be educated not attacked 🤷‍♀️ I just wondered.

Just wonder here...
https://www.epilepsy.org.uk/

Home - Epilepsy Action

Epilepsy Action improves the lives of everyone living with epilepsy. We provide info, support, training as well as fundraising and volunteering opportunities.

https://www.epilepsy.org.uk

2Rebecca · 30/12/2024 14:26

They are empty at many supermarkets, leisure centres, public car parks.

JubileeJuice · 30/12/2024 14:28

RegulatorsMountUp · 30/12/2024 14:22

But isn't that the whole point of an anonymous forum so that things can be asked and answered without upsetting anyone. I have ADHD - don't really talk about it in real life but often give my input about it on here. Wouldn't be bothered if someone asked me questions about it etc. The poster I quoted doesn't have to reply but at the end of the day it was a polite anonymous question. Not sure why you're all getting so cross about it.

Nor me. I think it's important that we discuss why certain conditions need certain adjustments. No, I wouldn't welcome someone random coming up to me in the street and asking me why I was in a wheelchair. It's rude.

However, if I was already in a conversation about disability, and someone asked me how one of my conditions, that I'd already stated I have, affected me, I'd be happy to educate. I don't know a great deal about epilepsy either, and I'm also not sure why that condition qualifies someone for a BB. If it was explained to me, by someone who has the condition, then I would understand and have that knowledge in the future.

DH's colleague is deaf and has a BB. No other disabilities. DH asked me why someone who was deaf would need a BB (I have a deaf relative). I told him that it's safer if someone with hearing loss doesn't have to cross busy car parks where they can't hear vehicles that might be doing something unexpected. The more we talk about things when already engaged in conversation, the more people understand WHY and the less abuse we get for using disabled spaces.

JubileeJuice · 30/12/2024 14:29

2Rebecca · 30/12/2024 14:26

They are empty at many supermarkets, leisure centres, public car parks.

No, they aren't. Not anywhere in my county, or any of the surrounding counties.

HTH.

HarrietPierce · 30/12/2024 14:30

2Rebecca · Today 14:26
"They are empty at many supermarkets, leisure centres, public car parks."

And in many they are full.

ThePineappleSeahorse · 30/12/2024 14:41

I agree that it is rude to question people but as someone who has been a carer for someone with epilepsy I’ll list a few reasons why my close relative would have benefited from a blue badge. Not speaking for anyone else here.

Seizure may strike at any moment and you really don’t want to take one in the middle of a car park. They’re dangerous enough anywhere considering that you may drop and lose consciousness injuring yourself in the process but that could be lethal if it happens in the middle of a car park.

They may also have absence seizures where they don’t drop but they still lose awareness of their surroundings. Again that is dangerous in a busy car park.

Even if they don’t have visible seizures they may experience auras which can make you feel, sick, dizzy, out of sorts, confused and can be a warning of an imminent seizure so you may have to rush back to the car.

If you have a seizure you’re often in what’s called a post-ictal state where you are extremely confused, agitated and sometimes aggressive. Again you may want to, if possible, get them back to the car and go home asap and that is not easy when someone is that confused.

Some people can do incredibly bizarre things when they have a seizure including undressing themselves so for their safety and dignity you want to have the car close at hand.

ThePineappleSeahorse · 30/12/2024 14:43

And my relative had temporal lobe epilepsy which can(and did) cause hallucinations so again that caused very real problems at times.

RegulatorsMountUp · 30/12/2024 15:20

ThePineappleSeahorse · 30/12/2024 14:41

I agree that it is rude to question people but as someone who has been a carer for someone with epilepsy I’ll list a few reasons why my close relative would have benefited from a blue badge. Not speaking for anyone else here.

Seizure may strike at any moment and you really don’t want to take one in the middle of a car park. They’re dangerous enough anywhere considering that you may drop and lose consciousness injuring yourself in the process but that could be lethal if it happens in the middle of a car park.

They may also have absence seizures where they don’t drop but they still lose awareness of their surroundings. Again that is dangerous in a busy car park.

Even if they don’t have visible seizures they may experience auras which can make you feel, sick, dizzy, out of sorts, confused and can be a warning of an imminent seizure so you may have to rush back to the car.

If you have a seizure you’re often in what’s called a post-ictal state where you are extremely confused, agitated and sometimes aggressive. Again you may want to, if possible, get them back to the car and go home asap and that is not easy when someone is that confused.

Some people can do incredibly bizarre things when they have a seizure including undressing themselves so for their safety and dignity you want to have the car close at hand.

Thank you! I literally just wanted to understand and your post is incredibly helpful and may also be helpful to the OP.

ThePineappleSeahorse · 30/12/2024 15:34

You’re welcome! Apologies that it was such a ramble but I’m glad that it helped to explain it a little.

SerendipityJane · 30/12/2024 16:08

EmmaMaria · 30/12/2024 14:18

@SerendipityJane For people who can walk, but are unsteady, get tired, or have a condition that doesn't require a wheelchair, the proximity to the entrance is key. There is no specific need for a larger bay.

Untrue. I can walk. After a fashion. I am very unsteady on my feet. get tired quickly and must rest frequently, hence I have a rollator, not a wheelchair. Unfortunately I also can't get out of the bloody car unless I can open the doors to the full extent. Have you tried doing that in a normal sized bay? Half the time you are lucky if an able bodied person can get out of the car in those bays!

Wheelchair or any other walking aid

verysmellyjelly · 30/12/2024 16:08

Not everyone is offended by being asked about their disability. It's not a dirty word. People who try to suppress discussion and act like it's shameful are not necessarily helping us. Curiosity is human. Many kids have spoken to me in public for example and I am never offended. I have also explained my issues to a fair few healthcare workers!

I am not saying for a moment that everyone with a disability owes it to Joe Public to deliver a full educational module at any time. But this idea that you can never ask anyone a question ever (even online!) is the opposite of helpful.

Fully expecting MN to delete this too because how dare I, a disabled person, express a different opinion...

SerendipityJane · 30/12/2024 16:11

2Rebecca · 30/12/2024 14:26

They are empty at many supermarkets, leisure centres, public car parks.

This is the forum equivalent of "there's a bloke* <wherever> that can do it for £1,000 cheaper" when given a fair quote for a fair job. Totally unverifiable and really just meant to cause trouble.

*or person

EmmaMaria · 30/12/2024 16:28

SerendipityJane · 30/12/2024 16:08

Wheelchair or any other walking aid

Thank you but I do not need a wider bay for my walking aid. I need it to open the door to get out of the car. As I said.

SerendipityJane · 30/12/2024 16:31

EmmaMaria · 30/12/2024 16:28

Thank you but I do not need a wider bay for my walking aid. I need it to open the door to get out of the car. As I said.

I am sure I worked for you once.

EmmaMaria · 30/12/2024 16:39

verysmellyjelly · 30/12/2024 16:08

Not everyone is offended by being asked about their disability. It's not a dirty word. People who try to suppress discussion and act like it's shameful are not necessarily helping us. Curiosity is human. Many kids have spoken to me in public for example and I am never offended. I have also explained my issues to a fair few healthcare workers!

I am not saying for a moment that everyone with a disability owes it to Joe Public to deliver a full educational module at any time. But this idea that you can never ask anyone a question ever (even online!) is the opposite of helpful.

Fully expecting MN to delete this too because how dare I, a disabled person, express a different opinion...

It was not the question per se but the way in which it was phrased - as you will note from the response I made. The poster did not say that their disability was "only epilepsy" (that was the comment made), and they clearly stated that the have a motability vehicle (which clearly demonstrates a high mobility need having been assessed) so there was no need to ask them why they needed a disabled bay for parking. It came across as invasive and rude - in the same way that "I'm not a racist but..." comes across when the next thing out of their mouth is something racist. It was judgemental - "but you only have epilepsy so you must be able to walk from a normal bay". "Only" was their word - not mine. I presume that you would find it offenisve if someone said "You only have .... (insert your disability) so why can't you (insert something you can't do)".

So it was not the fact that they asked a question which was, at best, phrased in a very rude and judgemental way, but that when it was pointed out, they argued that it wasn't.

Moglet4 · 30/12/2024 17:53

verysmellyjelly · 30/12/2024 13:55

Except there are literally multiple examples of hate against wheelchair users on this thread and every other thread like this, and also of biassed moderation ;)

Where? I honestly don’t think I’ve seen anything on this thread that could be described as hate against wheelchair users- or have they been deleted?

Moglet4 · 30/12/2024 18:18

ThePineappleSeahorse · 30/12/2024 14:41

I agree that it is rude to question people but as someone who has been a carer for someone with epilepsy I’ll list a few reasons why my close relative would have benefited from a blue badge. Not speaking for anyone else here.

Seizure may strike at any moment and you really don’t want to take one in the middle of a car park. They’re dangerous enough anywhere considering that you may drop and lose consciousness injuring yourself in the process but that could be lethal if it happens in the middle of a car park.

They may also have absence seizures where they don’t drop but they still lose awareness of their surroundings. Again that is dangerous in a busy car park.

Even if they don’t have visible seizures they may experience auras which can make you feel, sick, dizzy, out of sorts, confused and can be a warning of an imminent seizure so you may have to rush back to the car.

If you have a seizure you’re often in what’s called a post-ictal state where you are extremely confused, agitated and sometimes aggressive. Again you may want to, if possible, get them back to the car and go home asap and that is not easy when someone is that confused.

Some people can do incredibly bizarre things when they have a seizure including undressing themselves so for their safety and dignity you want to have the car close at hand.

Honestly, it doesn’t safe to drive at all in those circumstances!

ThePineappleSeahorse · 30/12/2024 18:21

Honestly, it doesn’t safe to drive at all in those circumstances!

The person with epilepsy wasn’t the one driving(for obvious reasons) but they can still have and need a blue badge.

ThePineappleSeahorse · 30/12/2024 18:25

And if you mean with a confused person in the car, well you wait it out until it passes and they’re safe then drive but you still need to get back to the car asap for the reasons I listed.

ThePineappleSeahorse · 30/12/2024 18:30

Oh and another reason that I forgot to mention is that when you’re having seizure activity smells and noises can seem incredibly intense to the point where they make you nauseated and dizzy so you may have to cut your shopping trip short.

Ratfinkstinkypink · 30/12/2024 21:02

My little boy has epileptic encephalopathy (among other things), his seizures are frequent and hard to medicate, they not only cause his limbs to spasm but they can affect his breathing too to the point he goes blue, each seizure damages his brain just a little bit more. Sometimes he goes into seizure and doesn't come out, we then run the risk of him going into 'status' whereby he goes into either a single seizure or a cluster of them but doesn't recover between each one, status can be fatal. If he goes into a prolonged seizure I need to administer his rescue medication this, in turn, can also affect his breathing, he sometimes gets as low as 4 breaths a minute. Giving emergency meds is best done with him as flat as possible (and away from prying eyes if poss so I will head for our van if I can see signs that seizures are coming), I can tilt his wheelchair to get him flat and the van gives us privacy. We are lucky now that rescue meds are given into the buccal cavity in his mouth rather than the good old rectal stuff that used to be used so at least he doesn't have that indignity but I think rectal meds are still used for some older people. He has multiple types of seizures, some affect just one part of his body and some affect all of him.

He also has dystonia. His muscles spasm and 'set' like concrete, he literally becomes like a plank of wood, it is a horrendously painful condition that affects him every single day of his life. This is another condition that can go into status and be fatal.

We need the car nearby, he is fed by a tube into his tummy and, at times, his dystonia has meant he's dislodged the 'button' that he is fed by. When that happens I have around 10-15 minutes to get it back in before it becomes a hospital job. To replace his tube I have to get him out of his wheelchair, lay him flat, clean my hands, open his emergency kit, make sure it is all there and not damaged then replace the device by pushing the new tube into the hole in his stomach. We prefer to do this away from the prying eyes of Joe Public so will try to get back to the van if we can so for this reason I like to park as close to where we are going as possible.

The fact that he is registered blind means I don't have to go through the rigmarole of form filling for his BB as he automatically qualifies for that reason alone.

WeWillGetThereInTheEnd · 30/12/2024 23:10

DD also has an epileptic encephalopathy - she’s gone from being like a normal 16 year old, to being like an 18 month old, with practically no short term memory. She’s likely only to understand only the last word in any sentence and forget that within 30 seconds. She’s lost most of her vocabulary and often we can’t work out what she is trying to say. She might say “I want some circles!” She means biscuits.

She too could go into status, suffer brain damage and die within a few hours, or suffer Sudden Death in Epilepsy - although it’s most likely on her own in the night. She has a video, audio and mattress monitor all night, plus staff awake all night, and 1:1 care all her waking hours in the care home where she lives, but she comes home 30% of the time.

Worst of all in many ways, are the drop attacks - a type of seizure where all the muscles relax without warning, and she falls down unconscious. These can cause head/neck/back injuries, broken teeth, fractures and soft tissue injuries. She’s had at least 20 skull x rays, 2 CT head scans, countless times concussion, numerous dental x rays and multiple x rays of most bones.

June, she had a drop attack in a supermarket. She knocked me over - knocking me out, dislocating and breaking 2 fingers. She was lying unconscious on the floor. Bystanders called 2 ambulances. Virtually every chain store/supermarket has called 999 to her. If she walks close to fridges, she falls down head first onto the shop’s tiled floor, as cold is a major trigger for seizures. Then she could be lying in a pool of blood, screaming her head off. She does wear head protection, but it doesn’t protect the face, teeth or chin. She’s had stitches along her chin three times. At one time, she used to fall onto the eye socket in particular.

We keep a wheelchair in the car, so that if she falls and is either semi conscious or only suffering a non 999 injury, one of us can go back to the car, get the wheelchair and we can wheel her back to the car, and drive to the Minor Injuries Unit. She can strip from the waist down during the seizure - it can very hard to get her back to the car, partially undressed in February on the high street, when she’s fighting me. Aggression can occur before, during and after a seizure. She can push me over, or punch DH in the stomach. Irritability and aggression are symptoms of the syndrome she has. Sometimes we take her round the shops in a wheelchair, just to provide relief from the stress. However she needs weight bearing exercise to strengthen her bones, as the drugs cause osteoporosis young.

On December 23rd, she was putting the Xmas tree up and fell down unconscious. We spent 8 hours waiting for an ambulance and 24 hours in A & E, while they did x rays of her hips; and the neck of femur, knee, ankle and foot down one leg - because she can tell us she is in pain, but not where. It’s guesswork. They found two small, but painful fractures. She’s now on oramorph, and in a wheelchair because walking, even with a boot on, is so painful for her.

Two care agencies said it’s too stressful for one of their care workers to look after her on their own. Where she lives has a team of nurses on duty 24/7, and doctors in the daytime to look after her, if anything happens - although they have to send her to A & E for x rays, etc. We all have post traumatic stress from seeing in particular, the injuries with blood everywhere.

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