AIBU to think that this might be the end of Bridezilla-style weddings? [Contains spoiler for the Gavin & Stacey Christmas special - added by MNHQ]

[BarkLife]

In 1965 (bear with me!) A Charlie Brown Christmas was broadcast on US TV. It featured a rather anaemic-looking real Christmas tree. Sales of 'fake' trees plummeted in the USA.

Watching the Gavin and Stacey Christmas episode, alongside over 12 million others, I wondered if perhaps a similar fate might befall extremely 'showy' Instaweddings. Given that Smithy's jilted bride is now the most reviled person in the UK, might people now opt for karaoke and close friends/family Smithy-and-Nessa style, instead of a Bridezilla-ish 'big do'?

God you will absolutely hate me!

200 people at the wedding, 4 days in Warsaw for the hen, African safari for the honeymoon and not even going to tell you what the engagement ring cost.

I don't understand the inverse snobbery on this subject. If you can afford the above and want the above, why would you deliberately choose less? To satisfy some people who think spending money on anything is a waste of time?

We spent money on the above because we like it and enjoy it. It doesn't mean my husband loves me any less or vice versa. We both work hard, my dad worked hard all his days and he wanted to pay for something special as it made him feel good. We want to enjoy nice things, Especially on the special days of our lives.

Most weddings I have been to have been large, lavish affairs and a really lovely party atmosphere. I loved picking out my outfit and planning a gift for every one of them and genuinely look forward to a beautiful day out.
The only small wedding I have been to was bizarre and was clearly only small because the bride and groom had to got together by having an affair so they obviously didn't have a lot of people who wished to celebrate with them.

200 people to the wedding - fine (as long as not a destination wedding)
African safari - fine

Warsaw hen = spending other people's money (and annual leave). Very self-absorbed.

https://edition.cnn.com/2014/10/13/living/wedding-expenses-study/index.html

There is actually research which shows a correlation between spend on a wedding and divorce, however correlation does not equal causation, of course, and long marriage duration does not equal happily married. Richer people will both have the means to spend more and find divorce less financially prohibitive if the marriage is not working.

I actually didn't plan my own hen and was surprised with the destination at the airport. So no, not self absorbed.
My bridesmaids planned it and made it clear if people didn't want or didn't feel able to come then they absolutely did not have to.

@latetothefisting

Source? With pleasure. It's a well documented fact. And whilst you say 'just because a couple who spent little on their wedding are still together, that doesn't mean they're happy' that's irrelevant. They are still together, and many are probably quite happy. Certainly happier than the ones who broke up (after spending stupid amounts of money on one day, to entertain and impress other people.) Nice try at trying to shit all over the facts, but you failed.

First thing I googled said

'.....a weddings costing more than $20000 had the couples divorced at a rate roughly 1.6 times higher than weddings costing between $5000 and $10000....'

A 'source...' (As required. )

Study Correlates Risk Of Divorce To Spending A Lot Of Money On Your Wedding

Another one @latetothefisting

Bigger the wedding, more likely the divorce? - Mercator

THAT article touches on why... It basically states that the kind of people who spend megabucks on a wedding are the type to be fussy and showy and want to impress people, and that 'perfectionist' attitude is likely to spill over into their marriage. Hence; more likely to divorce than a couple who spent a lot less money.

The 'less money on a wedding' brigade are not so desperate to impress and try to make people think they're rich. THAT attitude spills over into married life, with the couple less likely to be wanting bigger, better, things and to be happy with what they've got. Not 'settling' but just not trying to be something they're not/not trying to make people think they're something they're not.

There are loads of articles about this on the internet. Google is your friend. As I said, it's a well documented fact, that the more you spend on a wedding, the more likely you are to divorce, whether the 'massive spends on wedding' brigade care to admit it or not.

I'm not saying massive wedding budget = will divorce for sure. But it IS more likely.

Not sure why you (and others) are getting uptight about this. If YOU are a 'big spends on a wedding' couple and you're still together many years later, then this is not about you is it? So why so salty?

I would think that big wedding / divorce statistic is hugely over simplified and it's more to do with class. The expensive wedding is more normal in wealthier classes therefore if divorce rates are higher it's because for whatever reason that class has more marriage breakdown. The wedding cost is only a reflection of that. Also people with less money are often unable to separate or get divorced for financial reasons.

It was Queen Victoria's marriage which spread the fashion for white dresses - a fashion that extended beyond the UK. That hasn't substantially changed since.

How did you imagine it would end? It was pretty certain to me what would happen just the bits in the middle that needed sorting out.

Preference is a fine thing.

All the couple I know who had expensive weddings are still together and all the cheap weddings I've been to have been shit, but i couldn't give a fig what anyone else does for one day of their life.

I think that the main point was Sonja's behaviour. I particularly noticed how she spoke to the photographer about trivial things (the photographer not being tall enough or some such bollocks)

I always assumed that the expensive and doomed to fail wedding statistics are the people who can't afford the £20k +++ or whatever it is and put themselves under ridiculous pressure in their attempts to out Beyoncé, Beyoncé.

I haven’t given much thought as to exactly how it would end, obviously it was jumping ahead 5 years from the last special so I didn’t know what would have happened in that time, I didn’t necessarilly expect that Smithy would be getting married in the episode or that he would jilt the bride or that she would be a bridezilla. Assuming the bride is the gf introduced at the last special I didn’t expect she’d still be in it and thought the episode would centre around the main characters. I didn’t need to know that he would have a bridezilla bride before watching or that he will leave her jilted, obviously haven’t seen it yet so not sure how much of a
big spoiler that is maybe it all happens in the first 10 minutes of the show and isn’t a big spoiler but it’s still annoying to know in advance!

@MolkosTeenageAngst it's annoying you are still here giving out! Just watch the episode

I’m only replying to the posters who are directly quoting me as I get notifications which bring me straight to the post, I haven’t read anything else on the thread (aside from the first post). I will watch the episode but as I already said, I’m currently staying with family who aren’t interested, it would be a bit rude to just put their TV on and announce I’m watching a 90 minute show despite the fact they won’t want to watch it. I will watch it once I’m home!

Obviously in order to be a small wedding, many people who would otherwise be invited to a larger wedding must not be invited. The people I know that had the most conflict and family dramas were the ones who insisted on a small wedding, or where one person wanted small and the other had to compromise. It depends of course on your family, but not inviting your uncles or cousins because of an idea of a small simple wedding can be very controversial and not worth the image or vibe you are trying to create. It's better to start married life in harmony and with both families feeling happy and proud on the day, if that means a bigger wedding then so be it. It doesn't mean a showy one or a controlling bride.

Spent so much on mine and loved every second. Couldn't care less what anyone thinks tbf although some posts are pretty pathetic calling people who want a big wedding Bridezilla. Maybe we just like big parties and have a lot of friends. Christ.

Having a big wedding doesn't make you a bridezilla, I think that's more about some brides and their attitude rather than the actual event.

It's not the number of guests that is the problem it's the unreasonable controlling behaviour and obsession with petty details. If that's not you then I don't think anyone is talking about you. (Although personally I'd have spent the money on something else).