It's a bloody dog!

[MammaKel]

Ugh, I didn't realise how batshit crazy people were about their "furbabies."

We went to a family gathering yesterday where SIL and BIL and their DDog were - they don't have kids, and DDog is their baby but omg.

I could get past the calling each other mummy and daddy, calling my in laws grandma and grandpa and telling my kids he was their fur cousin and showing us pictures of taking him to see " Santa Paws" but there were two instances that genuinely made me cringe a bit ..

We were exchanging gifts, and they asked me where DDogs were, I laughed because I thought they were joking, but nope, totally serious and was upset he'd be left out, so I apologised (for some reason) and moved on very quickly..

The next one was that the dog was getting a bit agitated, and they said he was tired and getting a bit cranky, so they were leaving so he could have a nap..

I'm mostly being light-hearted, and I'm an animal lover (have 4 cats), but I just didn't realise how far it went AIBU or is this just the norm now?

Sorry, no they absolutely do not. Not until they are older and more sensible. As youngsters they will fight it like a toddler would

I have no problem with people loving their pets. I love my own, deeply. But I don’t inflict them on other people by taking them to their houses, insisting on bringing them with me to every social engagement, and forcing them into every conversation. That shit is tedious, and I’m done with it. So I tend to give those people a swerve when I can. It’s not about being judgemental - they’re welcome to carry on like that. Without me.

I'm.a dog owner.

What you describe is Bat shit

I allowed my Christmas guests to bring their dog but they were offended when I wouldn’t let him sit on my cream couch. They said it was a shame for him. I sympathise OP.

I work for a massive company. There was once a woman who was fairly new and used to sit around the corner in a different department. We didn't really know her. One day she came in telling everyone her daughter had died during the night. Everyone was shocked and was telling her to go home and whatever was she was doing in work. We later found out it was her dog who had died and she called the dog her daughter. I'll never forget it.

Yes, absolutely OP, it’s ridiculous. It’s a dog ffs

Taking a tired dog home is sensible. Expecting gifts is daft. Talking about cousins is insane. Calling themselves mum and dad I’m on the fence over.

I can't bear the way some parents bring their kids to every social engagement, force them into every conversation and use baby talk when they are speaking to or about them. We can all be a bit annoying sometimes.

This is true - but OP's relatives dog is 3 not a little puppy!

This is super cringey and ridiculous imv

It is very odd to behave like this. I don't think dogs have evolved to suit this role. They need a job, a chain of command, a routine and praise when they deserve it, not willynilly like a toddler. I see it as a bit like going to the gym. A new thing that people are using as a substitute for the disintegrating 'nuclear family home owning married by 30' model. But if it works for them, who are we to question it.

Out of curiosity, for those who object to Mum/Dad I’m guessing you prefer first names? So go to John etc with commands?

I know a couple of people who can't have kids and their dogs are their substitute babies. I love my dog like a family member, and will put their needs first, like if they're agitated. I don't expect people to buy them presents or treat them like a grandchild or niece / nephew, but people should understand that we love them like we would any family member. They are different to cats in that they also love you more than they love themselves.

I recently lost my dog, and I am utterly heartbroken. The grief is as bad as some family members, and worse than others. She was a huge part of my life, she was there through bad times and she was there for all my happy too. She was there, when many humans wouldn't have been.

‘My four, yes, four cats are well cared for, although I don't know if I am unreasonable for not getting them presents now.’

All sounds a bit unhinged to me. And I have a dog whom I love very much! I would never take him to see father Xmas. Because he’s a dog and would prefer to spend the time eating, at the park or on the sofa!! They clearly have some unmet needs. I’d just carry on being civil but not bend to the bizarre demands!!

@IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos sorry for your loss. I know that pain all too well, and it was acutely similar to the loss of both my parents. I know they are totally different experiences, and it is complex, but the initial pain in my heart felt the same.

Thank you. The loss is different but the pain is the same. They are massive parts of your life. People don't quite grasp it, if they've not had one.

I have a gorgeous dog that I love and care for like a child BUT he is treated like a dog.. and better behaved than my boys were!
I bought him a present because he enjoys ripping the paper off but I wouldn't expect anyone else to.. and I certainly would ask where his present was!
They sound OTT, but they may be struggling to conceive or fulfill a need in them who knows

I doubt they would recognise themselves because sadly there are so many of these weirdo owners about.

I love dogs, have fostered them and rehabilitated them for adoption for years (as well as adopted a few myself that would have been pts otherwise), but these types of owners raise anxious and neurotic dogs. I get the end result of this type of ownership, when they can no longer deal with neighbours noise complaints of howling/barking from neurosis and separation anxiety.

As I said love dogs, but wouldn’t in a million years compare to human children. Expecting gifts, cringing so hard on their behalf.

Actually... yeah, they are.

Humans have selectively bred dogs over the years (I mean, 40'000 of them) to accept humans in the 'parent/primary care giver' role... to the point that our domestic dogs now wean puppies and leave them far far younger than any comparable mammal or wild canid would...because we'll take over.

We've also selectively bred them to retain babylike features, big eyes, soft ears, but also behaviourally, to still play and offer appeasing and deferential behaviours (mouth licking for example, is what a juvenile/puppy does to an older family member to prompt them to give food)...

Ignoring all the affectations and silliness (and yes our dogs 'call' us Mummy and Daddy, but only in our house when no ones there, we don't do that in public and if I ever catch myself I'll give myself a slap)... you should be your dogs parent.

You should keep them safe, you should educate, you should manage, you should meet their needs, feed them, deal with medical needs and you should love them.
If that isn't a parental role then I'm fucked if I know what is.

And taking the dog home because they're overtired and need a rest is very responsible dog ownership indeed. If more people did this, we would see far fewer dog bite incidents!

Expecting other people to buy their dog a christmas present is batshit though!!

Yes the best reply would have "have you got our cats a gift?"

We do get a little treat for in-laws dog and they do ours and we also get ours a couple of pressies. But I would never assume anything or expect him to be treated like a child. Taking him home when he's playing up Is actually quite considerate.

My brother and wife have a dog which is their 'baby' they are expecting their first human child.. labelled kids christmas presents as from their (dog) cousin 🙈 (my kids were non-plussed). When brother is asked if he is excited to become a Dad he says he already is one. Just Batshit. Be interesting how they feel when they have an actual baby 🙈

Yes OP some people are batshit over their pets. (Only 5 pets in our home, dogs and cats). I am Mum to my children but not to my pets. Maybe their dog is a their ‘child’ but it is batshit to expect others to buy the dog presents. However 2 of my hounds take great delight in presents and definitely understand wrapping, presents and toys - Father Christmas usually includes a couple of dog and cat toys in the DDs’ stockings!

When I was younger, I had a boyfriend whose parents expected you to get off the sofa when the dogs wanted to lie on it. There were other reasons as well but after a Christmas holiday sitting cross-legged on a hard wooden floor while Myrtle and Rollo lounged in comfort, I was quite glad to call it a day.

Omg I can't with people like that 😂

My lovely DB is really into animals and one thing he's been doing that kind of irritates me during my pregnancy is comparing lots of it to having a dog. Eg I mentioned my DH couldn't stay overnight at the hospital after birth (over it now but it made me anxious at first) and he said the ward should have a therapy dog to wander round the mums that had just given birth and newborns.

I said I was hoping the baby doesn't come early because he'd have to spend some time in the NICU and DB said it would be like getting a puppy and waiting 8 weeks to take it home. Argh no it wouldn't!